


Be Cruel to be King

by 96qutie



Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Actor Nezumi, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, M/M, Prince Shion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 14:22:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 71,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6198499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/96qutie/pseuds/96qutie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the kingdom of Seis, King Rikiga rules cruelly. When he takes a former baker as his wife and makes her queen, her son Shion is named as heir to the throne, with one ultimatum; become a good leader before he turns 18 or be banished to"West District" to live forever in poverty and exile. Sadly Shion has no idea how to be cold hearted like Rikiga, but he meets someone who can help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Storms and Shadows

Shion wasn't supposed to be a prince. According to his step father, the king, he was pale and sick and nothing to look up to. Shion looked into the mirror, mounted to the wall of his lavish chambers. He wondered at how a skinny twelve year-old could expected to instill fear into an entire nation.

"Before your eighteenth birthday," King Rikiga had said, "You have to prove to me that you can be a strong leader. Otherwise I will revoke the right I gave you to be my heir, and I will banish you to the slums of society in the West District. And not even your mother will be able to save you."

How am I supposed to do that? Shion wondered. Maybe he had six years, but he doubted that he would ever agree with the way that the king ruled. He looked down at himself. Skinny arms, pale skin, white hair. Not to mention the mark like a contracting snake that now wound from his leg to his cheek. How could a boy like him ever be a king?

Shion sighed and walked over to his bed, which he slumped himself across. His head sinking into the fluffy comforter. He stared at the patterns of torch lights dancing on the ceiling. Maybe he would be better suited to prepare himself for a life in the West District instead. Maybe he'd be better at that than being a prince.

After a long moment of mulling over his options, Shion sat up and reached for the pile of books that he'd accumulated beside his bed. Most of them were books on how to be a healer. The job fascinated him, and he liked the idea of helping people who were hurting. This was part of the irony of course. It was just about the furthest thing from what Rikiga wanted.

"Maybe I can learn to be a mean king from books," Shion said, staring at the worn covers resting beside him. "It's how I've learned everything else. Maybe…"

Shion heaved a heavy sigh and pushed off of his bed to head towards the library. If he had any hope of becoming a king, this might just be it.

* * *

 

Running. His feet aching from bare contact with the rough, hard ground. His lungs burning. The air smelled tinny, and dark clouds took the color out of the sky, making the night come early.

How much further? How much further could he go?

He could feel the charred scraps of his shirt rubbing against his bloody back. He could feel the shock of his steps as they shuttered through him.

Not much further.

He thought about giving up now. Maybe the pain would slow if he stopped running. If he was going to die anyway…

There were lights, torch lights, not far ahead and he could see them like bright eyes through the trees.

He could die in the lights.

He kept running.

He cheeks felt wet.

It had started to rain.

* * *

 

It was getting late by the time Shion left the library, but it looked later.

Rain had begun to fall outside and the clouds were thick. It was going to be a rough storm. The wind was already howling against the windows.

Shion made it back to his room, and he felt tired. He felt a heaviness in his shoulders. He hadn't found anything. Nothing that gave him any confidence anyway, and now he felt a tightness in his stomach like he was going to be sick. What was he going to do now?

He closed the door to his bedroom. Resting his back against it as if to keep it from ever opening again. His body started to shake.

He didn't know what he was doing when he strode across the room and threw open the doors of his wide, stone balcony. Sending the wind screaming through the room and bringing the rain against his face. The cool air and icy water doing wonders to calm his stinging nerves.

He could feel it more than ever then. That locked tension in his stomach and his shoulders and his chest. He felt it like pressure trying to crush him from inside.

He wanted the pressure gone. He wanted to feel like he could breath again.

He opened his mouth to take that deep breath, but all that came out was screaming.

* * *

 

A sound. Strange and startling as it broke through the storm from up above.

He was lying in the wet grass, and it took all his strength to lift his head enough to see. A building, massive and stone a few yards away, the source of the light. A square of it was cast out into the darkness around a slim shadow that seemed to writhe as it gripped the stone railing and howled into the wind.

He could barely hear it. Somehow he doubted that anyone else could hear it at all. That there was anyone else out in the storm listening to start with.

It was a cry, and it was music. It was a door, bright and open and calling to him.

Yes, a call. That's what the sound was.

He slipped in the wet grass as he tried to find his feet but he found them. He pushed himself up and he continued forward towards the crying shadow, and the square of light.

* * *

 

Shion took a slow breath, when finally he'd gotten the screaming to stop, and tried to still the shaking in his hands.

He'd gotten lucky. The guards weren't posted outside because of the storm, and the wind had carried away most of the sound. Shion sighed. The tension was finally gone.

Still standing outside on the balcony Shion realized he'd been completely soaked. The rain was still pouring. His hair and clothes plastered to him and his skin felt like ice. He felt nervous about going inside drenched. The maids would want to throttle him if they found out.

Shion resigned, running his hand through his dripping hair, and making it stick up oddly. He made the only decision he could think of. He began unbuttoning his shirt.

He stripped down to his underwear, and scampered inside. Hurrying to his washroom first and grabbing a bundle of towels. One to dry himself with, another to wrap around himself, and a third he planned to use to pick up his clothes when going back for them.

When Shion had just finished drying himself, he wrapped himself in a towel. He had it draped around his shoulders when he exited the bathroom and headed back for his clothes.

What he hadn't expected was what was waiting for him just inside the balcony doors.

Shion froze. He was so started. He thought he must somehow be imagining the soaking wet boy with the long black hair that was standing just inside his bedroom. But when he opened his mouth to say something, the small figure proved him wrong.

Shion grunted, his body getting shoved against the the wall, a hand clenching around his throat. He was too startled to even react. The first thing he noticed when he came to his senses was a pair of sharp steel colored eyes.

"Don't move," said the dark haired boy in a low, rough voice. His eyes narrowing and the hand constricting around Shion's neck. "Don't move."

Shion stared for a moment, unsure of what he was even looking at. Where had this boy come from? He looked about his age. What was a twelve-year-old doing at the castle in the middle of a storm?

That's when Shion's eyes lifted just enough to notice the odd way the boy's shirt seemed to hang off his slender frame. Like there was hardly any back left to it. Then he notice the bright crimson stain spreading forward from the boy's back, right around his rib cage.

"You're—- hurt—-," Shion choked in surprise. "Do you—- need help?"

The dark haired boy's eyes widened in surprise, like those words were the absolute last thing he'd expected.

"I— know a little— about—- medicine and healing. I—- could—- help you—- maybe." Shion was starting to feel a little light-headed. The other boy seemed to notice as his grip around his throat started to loosen and then disappeared all together. Leaving Shion to drop to him feet on the ground.

At the same moment there was a knock at his door.

The hand was back at Shion's throat before he could blink, and he had to struggle not to make a gagging noise at the force.

"I'm not decent," Shion called when he got the boy to loosen his grip a little, "Do you need something?"

"It's time for dinner, Prince Shion," said the high female voice of one of the maids.

"I'm feeling unwell this evening." Shion replied, being sure to let his real exhaustion saturate his words. "Do you think someone could just bring me a plate later on? I need to rest."

"Of course, your grace, I'll inform your mother" The maid replied, audible concern in her voice. Shion wanted to grimace. He didn't love playing into the sick-little-child stereotype. But it earned him privacy as he heard the maid hurrying away.

It took another few seconds for the dark haired boy to finally release Shion to the floor. But when he had, Shion held up his pale arms in surrender and began to move towards the washroom.

"Come with me, okay?" he said as dark silver eyes stared suspiciously at his movements. "I have somethings that might help."

The boy looked reluctant but he followed. Keeping his eyes on Shion the whole time.

It took Shion a few minutes to locate the herbs and bandages he'd stashed. When he had gathered everything he could carry he motioned for the dark haired boy to follow him into his bed room. The boy silently complied.

Shion dumped all the boxes and jars onto his bed and turned around to look at the boy again, only to find himself eyed up and down. Shion frowned. He looked down at himself only to realize he'd dropped his towels when the boy grabbed him, and was now only in his underwear.

"Oh!" Shion squeaked, glacing toward to open balcony and his now totally drowned clothes. "I should—" he moved towards to towels on the floor.

"What are you doing?" The boy demanded. He was beginning to look ashen, and there were shadows under his eyes so dark they were nearly black.

"It'll only take a second," Shion insisted. But the boy grabbed his arm. His eyes narrowing into slits.

Shion's eyebrows furrowed. "Well… all right… then sit on the bed and show me where you're wounded."

The boy frowned.

Shion sighed, flushing dark red, "Come on… you can trust me. It's not like I'm concealing weapons." Shion gestured to his awkwardly exposed body. His chest and arms bare and his lower body covered only in the most vital sense.

The boy seemed to almost smirk at this and released Shion's arm. "Fine."

He moved ahead of Shion to the bed and sat down, but it only took a moment after he hand turned his back on him for Shion to jerk in surprise.

A giant burn covered a huge patch of skin on his back, dripping in blood and his shirt charred black around the edges of it. Shion stared in shock. Who would do this? To a child?

Shion forced himself to move before the boy could catch him staring and sat down behind the boy on the bed.

Thank goodness I studied burn treatment so recently, Shion thought as he settled himself before the wound. He reached for the hem of the boy's shirt.

"I'm sorry but I have to take this off." Shion explained before he even touched him. "I'm going to have to wrap a bandage around you're whole torso."

"It's ruined anyway," The boy replied. He reached for the bottom of his shirt and eased it over his head. Hissing in pain as he shrugged it to the floor.

Shion frowned in concern and reached for his jars.

He found the right ones and pulled out a mixing bowl from his kit before grinding the ingredients together. They made a thick, wet ointment by the time he finished and he began to smooth it into the wound.

The boy tensed. All his muscles locking as Shion tried to spread the treatment.

"Ow!" He complained, trying to shoot a look at Shion. Shion put a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

"I'm sorry, I know it hurts now but this will make it heal faster and hurt less in a few hours. If we don't put it underneath the bandage than it could just get worse."

The boy grumbled a complaint.

"So…" Shion began, half out of curiosity and half as a distraction, "I don't suppose you'd tell me how this happened, would you?"

"How do you think it happened?" The boy sneered, "The war."

"War?" Shion voice was blank confusion. Of course he new there was a war going on. There almost always was, since Rikiga the Conquerer had become king. Right now, the war was against a collection wild tribes living in the south where Rikiga was trying to take claim. Shion had heard bits and pieces of what was happening but for the most part had avoided news. Mostly because it was a grotesque reminder of everything he disliked about his possible future.

The dark haired boy craned his neck to glance over his shoulder "You seem surprised."

"You just seem too young to be a soldier," Said Shion, and he thought he saw the boy smile grimly.

"I'm not a 'soldier'. Not for your side, anyway."

Shion sucked in a breath, "You mean you're from the wild tribes?"

"That's right," the boy replied. Tensing his hand, as if he thought he'd need it for something. "Am I prettier than you expected a savage to be?"

Shion didn't even hear the question, or the threatening undertone to his joke. Instead his mind was whirling with information. The first thing he managed to settle on immediately spilled out of his mouth.

"This is what they're doing to you?"

The dark haired boy's hand stilled. "What?"

"The soldiers…" Shion shook his head as if trying to wake himself. "They're burning children? Innocent people?"

"What are you talking about?" the boy's voice was low and confused, "Why do you sound so appalled? You're the prince aren't you? Don't you know that's what war is? Pain and killing? The victors slaughtering the beaten? Death paying for land, paying for the right to go on fighting?"

Shion shook his head harder, "No."

"It's the truth!"

"I meant no, I'm not like that." Shion snapped, "I'm not a prince. Not really."

"What are you trying to pull?" The boy demanded, "I heard what that servant called you. Not to mention, look at this place! You expect me to believe you're some pauper, with all this?"

"That's not what I meant," Shion's voice was low. He'd moved on to wrapping a bandage around the boy's middle, binding the medicine to the wound and stopping the bleeding. "The king isn't my father. I wasn't born here, I was born in a baker's family. I was only brought here a few months ago when His Highness married my mom. He didn't have a son, so he sort of adopted me but… I'm not a royal, I wasn't raised for this."

There was a silence following Shion's statement. Shion was able to finish wrapping and pinned the bandage closed. He felt relief when he looked at the boy now. His skin looked clean in the white bindings and the muscles in his back seemed to have relaxed.

The boy turned around.

His eyes were bright and almost colorless in the torchlight. He watched Shion with a sort of guarded fascination.

"So… are you saying you aren't going to be the heir then? You're just the king's little pet?"

Shion flinched at that, looked down at the bed. He seemed to have kept it fairly clean of medicine stains and blood.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

Shion sighed and started gathering his tools to take them back into the washroom.

"You'll need some clothes. You must be freezing after being out in that rain. You'll get sick—,"

"You're wet too," The boy commented, and Shion winced, putting his things away in the cupboards.

"Yeah I know."

"What were you doing out there anyway?" The boy demanded, still sitting on the bed as Shion returned into view and began picking towels off the floor.

"I was…" Shion bit his lip, "I was trying to—,"

"You were screaming," said the boy helpfully. "Really squalling too. That's sort of a weird pass time, isn't it? Shouting at thunderstorms?"

Shion blushed, "Shut up!" he snapped, throwing a wadded up towel at him.

The boy caught it and chuckled, "You really are strange aren't you? I mean… screaming at storms? Stripping on your balcony? Entertaining strangers in your bed? Do you even realize you haven't asked my name?"

"Don't say it all like that! Besides, I didn't give you mine either," Shion defended himself, blushing fiercely.

"No, your maid did that for you," The boy agreed, "It was Shion, right? Like the flower?"

Shion smiled, having managed to bring his wet clothes in, folded in a towel. He shut the balcony doors before anyone else seemed to notice, "Yeah, my mom loves trees and wildflowers. So what's yours?"

"Nezumi," The boy replied, "But I guess in your language, it'd be Rat."

"I like Nezumi better," Shion decided having taken the clothes to his closet and thrown them in a washing hamper. He was now rifling through his clothes— still somewhat unfamiliar with them— until he found what he we looking for.

"Aha! Here."

Shion tossed something white at Nezumi who caught it and looked at it like something wet and slimy.

"What is this?"

"It's a night shirt."

"What's it for?"

"Men here sleep in them," Shion explained, shrugging into his own. He exited the closet so that he was in view of Nezumi again. The boy instantly started laughing.

"It looks like something a girl would wear!"

Shion blushed again, "Well it's all I've got comfortable enough to sleep in! Besides, you're the one who looks like a girl!"

Nezumi's eyes narrowed as he grinned, and something in them made Shion suck in a breath.

"Hey… what are you—,"

Before Shion knew what happened, Nezumi grabbed him. Throwing him, face down, on the bed, and pinning his arms behind his back. He kneeled over him from behind.

"What was that about me being a girl?" he whispered, low and threatening from behind Shion's ear. He excepted to feel some sense of fear come off the small white haired boy. He was wrong.

"Wow," Shion gasped in amazement, "That was incredible! How'd you do that? Is there some kind of trick to it?"

Nezumi stared, totally dumbstruck, until a wave of laughter broke over him and he fell on to the bed.

"You-," he gasped between laughter, "are insane! Completely crazy! You have no idea what you're talking about, do you?" Another bout of laughter.

The feeling was contagious, and Shion started laughing too.

The two of them, had just started to quiet down when there was a knock at the door.

"Master Shion? I have your dinner sir," the voice of the maid said from the other side of the heavy wood. Shion sucked in a breath.

"Hurry, Nezumi, get under the bed clothes." He hissed, wrenching back the blankets and herding Nezumi under them.

Nezumi scrambled, laying flat agains the bed. Shion covered him with thick blankets and rolled under the covers. He laid down, trying to look as weak and tired as possible before shouting, "Come in!" rasp-ily through the door.

The door creaked as the maid came in.

"Oh master look at you!" She gasped as she shuffled in holding a sliver tray piled with food. "You're flushed! Do you have a fever?"

Shion had to bite his cheek to contain his reaction.

"I'm not sure. I just feel tired. If you wouldn't mind just setting to food on the table, I'll get to it after a moment more of rest."

"All right," The maid agreed, setting the tray on the heavy wooden night stand. "Just ring the bells if you need anything, Master."

"Of course. Thank you." Shion agreed with a smile and the maid curtsied before she left.

Only a couple of moments after the door shut Nezumi flipped back the covers and rolled onto his side.

"Those rich people quilts are smothering."

Shion chuckled, "Just sit up and I'll get you something to eat," he said, reaching for the stew that was sitting on the tray. "Here,"

Nezumi eyed it, "Are you sure? That's for—,"

"I get plenty, nowadays." Shion said with a smile, "Take it."

Nezumi sat up and accepted the bowl, slurping the stew into his mouth.

"Ah," he sighed, "This is good stuff."

"Yeah," Shion agree, eating a piece of fruit. "Wait till you try the cake. My mom is still the one who makes it and it's the best."

Nezumi grinned, at some point Shion hadn't noticed he'd manage to put on the night shirt. Draped over his thin frame like that, Nezumi really would have looked like a girl. Were it not for that grin "Sounds tempting. So are you ever going to explain what you meant earlier?"

Shion raised his eyebrows. "About what?"

"About the throne," Nezumi glanced sideways at him. "Is it yours?"

Shion looked down and sighed. "It's complicated."

"I'm not stupid," Nezumi snapped, "I'm sure I can keep up."

Shion shifted his eyes away even further.

"Well…" He picked at the quilt with his finger tips. "You see… Rikiga adopted me when he married my mom. He said that I was enough like her that he could except me as his own instead of seeming me as another man's child. But… not too long ago, I got sick. Some kind of parasite that nearly killed me. It was thanks to some really great healers I was able to live. For some reason though, the treatment caused some sort of… reaction…."

Shion traced his arm subconsciously, where a branch of the red snake mark trailed his skin.

"It changed my appearance too look like this. My brown hair turned white, my brown eyes turned red, and my skin…" Shion reached up to touch the tail of the snake on his cheek.

"I guess something about it made Rikiga think differently about me. He says the way I am now I'm too pale, too sickly to be a strong leader. He says the only way I can succeed at being king is if a can demand enough fear and respect that no one will question me. And if I can't do that before I turn eighteen… than Rikiga with banish me to avoid embarrassment, and I'll live in exile for the rest of my life." Shion closed his eyes, feeling ashamed. He'd never be able to do it. He'd never….

A hand coming to rest on Shion's chin shocked him out of his thoughts as Nezumi turned his face too look at him. Nezumi studied him, as if he were something new and fascinating. His hand sliding up to trace the tip of the snake, where it curved around Shion's cheek, with his thumb.

"I think your looks are sort of charming," Nezumi eyes followed the line of his snake. "In fact I'm jealous. I don't see why you couldn't be an impressive leader, looking like you do now."

As Nezumi spoke he leaned forward. Shion sucked in a breath, but Nezumi only reached past him to grab the plate of cake from the bedside table and then he leaned away again.

"So what do you have to do to prove yourself to Rikiga then?" Nezumi asked as he cut into his cake. "Is there some sort of test?"

"I just have to show him, somehow over the next six years, that I'm the same as him. That I can rule like he does." Shion let out a breath. "But I don't think I can do it."

"Well I confess," Nezumi piped in, "From what I've seen from Rikiga's armies, you two don't exactly seem cut from the same cloth."

Shion closed his eyes in defeat. "I know."

"Wait a minute," Nezumi scolded, "I didn't say that means you should give up."

"But I don't want to be like Rikiga," Shion said, his eyes down cast towards the sheets. "I don't believe in fear and suppressing people. I can't send armies to burn villages or hurt people. I don't want that life. I want to help people. I want to see the world be peaceful, or at least as much as it can be. I want people to be safe and protected by the ones who rule them, not harassed by them." Shion took a breath, somewhere in his ranting his voice had started to rise.

"Did you ever think," Nezumi cut in, placing his empty plate on the table at his side of the bed. "that believing in those things might be the exact reason you should be king?"

Shion shook his head. "Rikiga doesn't want me like this. He said so himself."

"Well sure," said Nezumi, rolling his eyes, "But you aren't going to be king as long as he's alive anyway, right? So it's not like he could stop you from ruling how you wanted."

"But I told you, if he doesn't think I'm like him then I don't get to be his heir." Shion protested.

"So convince him of what he wants to see," Nezumi criticized as if it were obvious, "I mean you only have to trick him into believing it. How hard could that be?"

Shion stared, "Nezumi… I see what you're saying but… I'm not a good liar. Let alone something as big as tricking Rikiga—,"

"Yeah, I kind of guessed that," Nezumi agreed with a grin. "Everything about you screams honest and straight forward. But you've got years to learn. And learning to act might be a better place to put your efforts than learning to change everything about yourself."

Shion stared intently at Nezumi as the boy layed down against the pillows, snuggling into bed. "How am I supposed to learn stuff like that?"

"Well… you like to read, don't you?" Nezumi asked, gesturing to the pile of books at the side of the bed. "Do you ever read fiction? Plays? Adventure stories? Romances?"

Shion shook his head.

Nezumi frowned, "Well start. Besides, you're a prince. You could actually go to the theatre! Watch the professionals do it, learn from their example. Learn how to show people what they want to see. Besides, if nothing else it will at least make you a little more interesting as a person. Stories and plays are the greatest achievements of the soul."

Shion smiled, "Well it looks like I discovered something about you. You love literature."

Nezumi grimaced, "Yeah well, that one's a free be."

Shion laughed.

"I'm freezing," Nezumi complained, bundling himself in blankets and shivering.

"Freezing?" Shion echoed looking around. It felt warm to him.

"Are you still chilled from the rain?" he asked, reaching out to press his hand to Nezumi's forehead. He yanked it back instantly. "You're burning up!"

"It's not that surprising," Said Nezumi, "just let me get some sleep."

"It could be serious!"

"Shion!" Nezumi snapped, reaching up to grab one of Shion's fluttering hands. "We already did your fancy medicine thing. Now it's time to sleep." Nezumi pulled Shion's hand with his until they here both lying at his side. "Besides… I feel better like this. You're warm."

Shion's eyebrows rose and he blushed. He considered checking his books for fever treatments, but seeing Nezumi relax changed his mind. Instead he laid down, tucked them both in and blew out the light, before curling close to the boy beside him and falling asleep.

When Shion woke up the next morning, Nezumi was gone. The balcony doors left unlocked, and half of the bed sheets smoothed and tucked as if no one had ever been there in the first place.

For a wild groggy moment Shion thought that perhaps the whole thing had just been some sort of vivid dream. That is until his noticed a book laid open on Nezumi's side of the bed. He reached for the book and brought it up to see what it was.

It turned out to be a book that he hadn't read yet. A collection of works from a playwright. The page the book was open to was the title page of one of the plays.

The play was called 'Hamlet'.


	2. Actors and Stages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shion's birthday doesn't have him as excited as it should. But his parent's birthday present may turn things around.

Shion liked his birthday. That is, he liked the idea. What he didn't like was all the attention that came with it.

"Shion will you stop fussing! I'm almost done."

"Mom, why did we have to invite so many people?"

"Well that's something you should be over by now," Said Karen sagely. She smiled at her son though the mirror while she brushed his hair.

Shion sighed, "But on my birthday?"

"That's exactly why honey," His mother chided. "This is an event for them too. You have to share special moments with your subjects if you want them to feel like they know you. Besides, there are so many people all you'll have time to do is pass out handshakes and smiles. It's not like you have to interact with them all at once."

"Yeah," Shion agreed reluctantly. Blushing faintly pink. "Mom?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"Have you ever…" Shion paused, quickly editing what he was about to say. "Have you ever had something you just couldn't stop thinking about?"

"What do you mean?" His mother asked, her crown glinting in the light as she raised her head. The gold looked radiant against her dark hair. The color Shion no longer shared with her.

"I mean…" Shion sighed. "Do you ever feel like… something important happened to you in a moment, and you can't stop wondering if… if that was it? If that's the only time you'll ever feel that way, or if somehow you missed a chance?"

Karen thought for a long moment while she gently adjusted her son's clothes so they were crisp and smooth. "Well… I think there are a lot of important moments in your life. It's easy to feel like each one you experience is the greatest at the time, but there are always more coming. Besides, there will always be a way to go after something if you truly want it."

Shion looked her in the eyes through the mirror, "What if… what if it involves another person? And now they're gone…"

Karen's eyebrows furrowed, "Oh Shion, are you talking about love?"

Shion flushed crimson, "No!" he sputtered, "No, just…. someone who made who made me see things differently."

Karen grinned, "Well Shion, it doesn't matter what it is that makes a person important to you. The second you meet them it will change things. Sometimes holding on to what a person taught you can be as important as holding on to the person. But… if there is anyway to be with them then it will be hard work to make it happen."

Shion smiled, "I don't know if there's anything I can do about it this time."

Karen shrugged, "You never know, Shion. Fate has a funny way of doing things. You might just find a way."

Shion felt a faint blush return to his cheeks, and he wondered if his mom was right. He thought of a small, pale, boy, with black silk hair and steel colored eyes, and that grin like a dagger on his lips. It had been four years now… but Shion still thought of him. Especially when it rained.

"I don't suppose you'll tell me what all these question are about," Karen hinted smoothing her thumb over the red tail on his cheek.

Shion chuckled, "It's nothing. I think nerves are just messing with my head."

Karen's expression soften, "You'll do great, sweetheart. Besides, I think you're going to like your present tonight. It's something special." she said with a grin, and Shion felt a nervous coiling in his stomach.

He hoped whatever it was, it would make getting through tonight a little easier.

* * *

 

"Happy Birthday, Your Grace."

The well-wishers flooded over Shion like a tide and most of them Shion didn't know. He wished he could sit down so his feet would stop aching, that is until, finally, someone familiar surfaced through the blur.

"Happy birthday, Prince Shion," said Safu, walking up to Shion with a smile on her face and a large box in her footman's arms. "It's so good to see you."

"Hello, Lady Safu," Shion replied with a genuine smile. Safu was the daughter of a duke who Shion had met for the first time at his mother's wedding to the king. She was a smart girl, and one of the only people in the noble crowd who Shion liked and willingly spent time with.

"This is for you," She said, gesturing to the footman's burden with excitement. "I picked them out myself."

Shion raised his eyebrows as the footman lowered the box to the floor and pulled back the lid. Inside were about a dozen books.

"They're perfect!" Shion exclaimed, kneeling down to read the titles off their spines. They were all nonfiction books. Topics ranging from historical, to budding theories of science that the kingdom called blasphemy.

"I'm glad you like them," Safu said, beaming. "I hope you'll save a dance for me later?"

Shion straightened and smiled, "Of course," He agreed, "I hope you enjoy the party."

And with that Safu mixed in with the rest of the crowd, and the greeting line continued to flow.

I should have told her that I've been reading fiction, Shion thought, but then thought better of it. Safu would find things like that frivolous, just like Shion used to. Besides, he could probably use some grounding in facts every once in a while.

The rest of the crowd dragged on without interest. Shion was just starting to wonder how they were all fitting into the building when last of them arrived and the doors swung shut. Shion gave an internal sigh of relief.

The rest of the evening settled into a giant feast. Everyone sat at long tables in the great hall, piled high with food.

Shion got to sit at a raised table in the back, with his mom and Rikiga, directly across from a velvet curtain hanging on the wall.

"What's going on?" Shion asked as servants put out the brighter torches and replaced with a scattering of candles. Karen smiled discreetly.

"It's your present dear," she said with amusement, and at the same moment Rikiga stood and began to speak.

"In honor of this important day," He began, in a voice that echoed off the walls, "My queen and I have planned something special. Something we all can share. And so in that spirt, I'd like to introduce tonight, a performance of Hamlet by the West Side Acting Troop."

At this announcement, applause broke out across the room. The king swung his arm, and the curtain raised over a giant stage, lit against the darkened room, that took up most of the far wall.

Shion had been going to the theatre consistently since that night when he was twelve. He'd read many books and plays and he knew that his mother had noticed, but he hadn't expected this. He'd never seen Hamlet preformed. But when his mother had asked, he had told her it was his favorite because it was the first play that he'd ever read.

He'd never mentioned that it reminded him of a boy with long black hair.

As the play began Shion watched in awed silence as the familiar scenes unfolded before him, full of life and sound.

Then, Ophelia entered the stage.

Shion felt it the instant her saw 'her'. Something in the way she moved across the stage, the voice that echoed from the stage. He'd pitched his voice high, to sound like a female, but something in the lilt of it struck Shion sharply. He knew this person… he had heard them speak before.

He was too far away to see their face clearly, especially since coated in make up, so he forced himself to focus on the story. It helped how much he genuinely loved it. The actors were incredible. He'd always loved Hamlet, and even when Ophelia spoke, it was easy for him to see just the character and not the person behind it.

Before long Shion had suppressed his curiosity. The play even made him cry. It felt that too quick when it came to an end. Cheers seemed to roar forever after the actors took their bows. The party guest were almost hysterical with their praise. Shion felt stunned watching, until suddenly he heard someone call his name.

"And if Prince Shion would join us on stage, the cast would like to wish him a happy birthday."

That voice again. The one he knew. It had been Ophelia's actor who had spoken, and this time their voice didn't sound like a woman's and it dug at Shion's memory like a knife.

I know that voice.

Shion was numb as he stood from his seat and walked towards the stage, his eyes frozen on the actor in the long dark wig and flowing white dress. The closer he got, the harder his heart pounded. As if every step brought him closer to remembering.

Shion mounted the stage, greeted with an arm draped in white silk being slung around his shoulders. Shion turned his head to look and found himself met with bright, steel colored eyes.

Shion's heart stopped.

"Let's all sing, Happy Birthday,"

Singing began, a dull roar in the background, but all Shion could hear is the low, musical voice in his ear.

"… Happy birthday… dear Shion…" The voice sang, soft and sweet like it was a secret. "Happy birthday… to you,"

At some point a cake rolled out, giant and lit with candles, and Shion was lead towards the edge of the stage.

"Blow out the candles, Shion." The voice said, amused now, teasing him. "Make a wish."

Shion took a deep breath and blew until the lights flickered out. And the only thought on his mind as the coiling gray smoke rose to into the air, was one word.

Nezumi.

* * *

 

Shion took awhile to calm down.

After the candles, the actors had all left to change, but Shion couldn't remember anything after that. Somehow he'd managed to get off stage, and was now standing at the edge of the room before his awareness started to return.

He wasn't sure why seeing Nezumi had hit him quite so hard.

Maybe it was something about how the boy had become little more than a dream to him over the past four years. Someone who was there so shortly but somehow changed everything about his life. Or maybe it was simply Shion had never believed he would see him again.

Emotions seemed to move through him like butterflies. Obvious and colorful as they came close but were always out of reach. And the more he struggled to sort out his feelings about seeing him, the more confused he became.

He somewhat stuttered responses to anyone who came to talk to him, but he could hardly remember what he'd said afterwards. Everything around him had turned to blurs and distant roaring. That is until something snapped him out of it.

"Happy birthday, your majesty." came a voice, drawing Shion's attention to a figure in dark clothes who lounged against the wall beside him. "I'm pleased to hear you're such of fan of the arts."

Shion turned, his face turning pink. His eyes took in Nezumi, wearing a black jacket and trousers with a thick scarf wound around his neck.

He looked taller, and his hair was long and pulled back in a short, spiky tail, making him look more masculine than when he was a child. But his frame was still graceful and narrow, with sharp, pretty features and dark lashes framing his eyes.

He looked different. Older, and…. Shion flushed to think he looked much more attractive. Both the way a man should be attractive, and with a sort of beauty that was usually reserved for women.

Shion let out a breath.

"You came back," He said, his voice breathless like he'd been running. This made Nezumi smile.

"What can I say? You never write." the raven boy teased, smirking mischievously at Shion. "You've hardly changed. You're still the same skinny kid I remember. I'm even taller than you are now."

Shion rolled his eyes. "I've changed!"

"So," Nezumi ignored him, continuing on with an airy, superior tone. "Hamlet is your favorite play, huh?"

Shion flushed, feeling like admitting it was giving away something personal. "Well, someone once told me it was one of the great achievements of the soul."

Nezumi grinned, "Then maybe you have learned something."

"Shion!" Came a shout, as the king barreled over towards them. "Ah! it seems you already met Eve."

"Eve?" Shion repeated. Luckily only Nezumi heard him.

"Your Highness." Nezumi bowed, "It's an honor."

"For me as well, Eve. I had heard you'd steal the show, but I never expected to meet someone so talented playing a female role."

"What can I say, I like to be surprising." said Nezumi with a charming smile. "But of course, getting to preform at the palace has been the greatest experience I could ask for."

"Glad to hear it," the king grumbled. He seemed a little drunk, and Shion wrinkled his nose. "Of course you all have to stay for the party."

"We have a long journey back, Your Majesty," Nezumi replied. "We shouldn't be getting off too late if we want safe travel home."

Shion felt his heart sink.

"Nonsense! Just stay here. You can leave in the morning. It'll be enjoyable to have a little culture around here. What do you say?"

Nezumi's smile was radient, "We would never refuse the hospitality of our king."

Rikiga laughed obnoxiously, "Good, good." He clapped Nezumi hard on the back. "Well enjoy the refreshments, Eve. And keep an eye on Shion for me. He always sneaks out of these parties."

Shion flushed and Nezumi seemed to be repressing a laugh.

"I'd be happy to, your highness." The actor said, and with a gruff nod as his reply, the king hobbled off toward a table full of food.

Shion glanced at Nezumi, "So you're staying?"

"Seems that way," The boy replied, seeming amused by the question. "Do I still have a spot in your bed, Shion? Or should I make other accommodations?"

Shion's cheeks felt like they could burn off his face.

Nezumi burst out laughing. "I was teasing you, Shion! Looks like you're still pure as the driven snow. And here I thought princes got all the women."

Shion blushed darker, if that were possible. "I'm not—, I— I'm supposed to be a gentleman!"

"Supposed to be?" Nezumi repeated, a wicked glint in his eyes, "I'm pretty that's just your nature, little prince."

Shion dropped his eyes to the ground.

"Eve!" came shouts from the other side of the room and Nezumi looked toward them instantly.

Shion raised an eyebrow. "You changed you're name to Eve?"

"Hell no," said Nezumi, sounding appalled. "It's just the stage name I go by. It's what happens when you're famous for playing female characters."

Three boys Shion recognized as other actors came charging up to Nezumi, then. Looking buzzed and out of breath.

"Eve! The dancing is about to start, and we told everyone that you would sing!"

"What?" Nezumi's voice went flat, "I never agreed to that."

"Come on! You're the best at it! We want to impress everyone don't we? I've got debts to pay!"

Nezumi grumbled under his breath.

"Fine! but you guys owe me for this."

The three men wolf whistled in response.

"You can sing?" Shion asked in amazement as the three boys disappeared.

Nezumi turned around and smiled, "Looks like you're about to find out, doesn't it?" and he disappeared into the crowd.

"Shion!" Came a call after Nezumi was gone. Shion turned to see Safu emerge from the crowd with a shy smile on her face, "I thought, maybe we could have our dance. I hear they're about to start the music."

Shion smiled, "Of course, Safu. I'm honored." Shion offered her his hand.

Music started to play as the two of them reached the center of the dance floor. Shion placed a hand at Safu's waist and began to lead her around the floor.

It took all his willpower not to look up to see Nezumi taking the stage, but in the end he thought he might have been glad he hadn't. Because when Nezumi started to sing, he felt like his heart had stopped.

"Are you alright, Shion?" Safu asked, "You looked strange just now…"

"Oh,"Shion breathed, "I'm sorry. I'm fine." he found a smile, "This is just beautiful music."

"It is," Safu agreed, but she didn't seem interested. Instead she just leaned into Shion a little. So that they were dancing closer.

On a turn, Shion got the chance to to look up at Nezumi on stage, and when he did he their eyes met.

When Nezumi saw Shion, something changed in his expression. Something softer, that felt like it was just for him. Shion smiled.

He didn't get many chances to look at Nezumi again, but he listen to the song carefully the entire time. Greatful that Safu seemed content to lay her head against him as opposed to talking. And when the song ended Shion felt like he was letting out a breath he'd been holding.

"Thank you for the dance, Safu." Said Shion, detaching himself from the dark haired girl and giving her a bow. But before she could reply, Shion had turned away and run off into the crowd.

"Looking for me?" Nezumi asked, and Shion turned around, smiling immediately.

"That was amazing!" Shion said with a voice full of wonder, "I didn't know you could sing like that!"

Nezumi chuckled.

Shion frowned, "What?"

"The way you looked just now," Nezumi explained, "It reminded me of when I tackled you. I can't decide if I you have diverse interests, or if you're just easily impressed."

Shion flushed.

"So," said Nezumi with a grin. "Now what do you say I show the pure little prince how to have a little fun?"

* * *

 

Apparently, fun meant alcohol.

"Nezumi, I can't," Shion protested, "I'm a prince, there are expectations—,"

"Don't worry," Nezumi waved away Shion's protests. "The king got zonkered already, and I'll make sure to whisk you away if you start making a fool of yourself."

Shion sighed, it wasn't just about his reputation. Shion didn't particularly like alcohol. He drank wine at dinner, because that's what everyone drank, but he never had much. He didn't like the way it mad his head swim.

"Come on, Shion, it's your birthday isn't it?" said Nezumi like it was a challenge. "Can't you let go for a single night?"

Shion eyed the glass Nezumi held out for him, and with a reluctant breath accepted.

"Just this once," He warned, giving Nezumi a stern look. The dark boy smiled.

"Just this once," He agreed, and they clinked their glasses together.

To no one's surprise what so ever, Shion turned out to be a bit of a light weight.

"Come on Shion. You're going to go sleep this off," Nezumi said as he pulled Shion's arm around his shoulder. He let the fair-haired lean on him as they walked.

Shion giggled.

"You look less like a girl now, Nezumi." said Shion with a slur, reaching out to give Nezumi's head a heavy handed pet. "You're still kinda pretty though."

"How flattering, your grace," Nezumi teased, half dragging the staggering boy out of the great hall. "Now, which way was your room?"

Shion looked around for a moment, as if surprised at where he was, and then he pointed. Nezumi sighed in relief and followed his direction.

"Hey Nezumi?"

"Yes, Shion?"

"Why'd you leave without saying goodbye?"

Nezumi faltered, his breath coming in a little sharp.

"I left while it was still dark, Shion. It was just safer that way."

They kept walking.

"Have you thought about me at all?" Shion asked, his voice coming out heavy and awkward sounding. "I thought about you. Everything made me think about you."

Nezumi felt a little jolt run through him, and then shook his head.

"Did you now?" he asked, instantly teasing. "Was it late at night and covered in rose petals?"

Shion tried to shove him and missed, Nezumi had to elbow him to keep him from stumbling over.

"It was always," Shion mumbled. "just always."

Nezumi found himself short for a comeback this time. So he cleared his throat and continued walking in silence.

Soon they found themselves at Shion's bedroom door.

Nezumi struggled to open it around Shion's limbs, but once he managed, the two of them somewhat stumbled into the room. Nezumi looked up as they entered, his eyes taking in the room. It was almost exactly how he remembered it. But now some book shelves lined one wall, and books no longer scattered the floor.

"All right, down you go." Nezumi huffed as he unloaded the prince onto his bed. The boy flopped there, bonelessly, and grumbled something under his breath.

Nezumi chuckled. Shion pink faced and sprawled out like that was kind of adorable.

Nezumi reached down and removed Shion's shoes. At first he was just going to leave him like that, until he noticed what Shion was wearing.

"Damn prince clothes," Nezumi grumbled, "How do you even move in that outfit?"

Shion didn't answer, and Nezumi suspected he'd fallen asleep. He sighed, and reached down to start unbuttoning Shion's suit.

Nezumi was trying to push the jacket and tie off Shion's shoulders when two red eyes blinked open and looked up at him.

Shion jumped, started.

"Calm down, you nun. I'm just trying to help you get some sleep." said Nezumi taking a step back. "But it looks like you can handle it from here." Nezumi moved toward the door.

"Wait," Shion caught Nezumi's hand as he tried to turn away and Nezumi looked back at him.

"Need something?"

Shion's eyes were down. His cheeks flushed darker than a moment ago and his hand slick against Nezumi's. The darker boy raised an eyebrow.

"Use your words, Kid."

Shion flinched. "If… if you go…." Nezumi waited as Shion tried to mumble his way through it. "I'll never see you again."

"That's being a little dramatic," Said Nezumi.

Shion looked up at him. "You'll leave in the morning won't you? You and the others?"

Nezumi shrugged, "Probably,"

"And you'd never come wake me to say goodbye." This wasn't a question.

"Well it's not like you're my lover," said Nezumi airily. "Do you have a point in here somewhere?"

"Stay."

Nezumi felt a jolt run through him at Shion's tone. He cleared his throat.

"You have no idea what it sounds like when you say things like that," Nezumi teased, "Inviting me into bed again?"

"You know what I mean," Shion insisted, his eyes bright and burning. "If you're going to leave, as least stay with me while you're here."

Nezumi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "You're drunk, Shion, you'll be asleep—"

"I don't care. I want you to stay."

"Is this an order from a prince?" Nezumi asked sharply. His eyes raising to Shion's, challenging him.

Shion shook his head. "No. I'm just asking as myself. You don't have to do anything."

There was a tense moment of staring between the two of them. Hot red and cold silver. Then… Nezumi smiled.

"Good." he said reaching up to unwind his scarf and shrug his jacket from his shoulders. "Because I wouldn't have done it if you'd said yes."

Shion's eyes widened, for a moment too surprised to completely process what Nezumi said. But his sense came back to him as Nezumi kicked off his boots and Shion slid over to make room for him on the bed.

Nezumi flopped down beside him, "You aren't going to make me wear that girlish night gown again, are you?"

Shion giggled, "Coming from the guy who dresses like a girl for a living?"

Nezumi grinned, "Ha! Look who learned to make a joke. Maybe you have changed after all."

Shion laid down, and Nezumi yawned, rolling over on to his side so his back was to Shion, one arm curling under his head. Shion looked over at him, and the sight of his back, thinly covered by a white shirt, reminded Shion of something.

He didn't think before he did it, his curiosity seeming to have a mind of it's own as Shion reached out and lifted Nezumi's shirt.

"What the hell?" Nezumi demanded, sounding furious and like he was about to pin Shion to the bed like last time. Shion hardly noticed.

"It healed! I'm so glad,"

Nezumi froze. There was so much genuine happiness in Shion's voice in that moment, that Nezumi couldn't decide if it made him angry or not.

"It's a scar." Nezumi's voice was cold.

Shion flinched a little, "Yeah…" He lowered Nezumi's shirt. "I'm sorry."

Nezumi shrugged, "I never said it was a bad thing," he said, voice low. "Scars are reminders of surviving something that might have killed you. They're badges of honor." Nezumi, rolled over to face Shion. "Right? Little prince." as he said it, his thumb traced the red tail of the scar against Shion's cheek. Shion let out a breath.

"Nezumi… I'm glad I got to see you again."

Nezumi smiled and removed his hand from Shion's face to roll back over in the opposite direction.

Nezumi's tone was teasing again. "Me too, your majesty." he said.

And he blew out the light.


	3. Strangers and Neighbors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morning comes and Shion gets a hard dose of reality as he's introduced to what the future looks like for him and Nezumi.

_"Shion?"_

_Shion turned around._

_He realized he didn't recognize where he was. It was night out, and the sky was dark and spotted with stars above a round open field. Trees circled the distant edges cutting him off from the rest of the world._

_"Shion,"_

_Shion turned again, and there was Nezumi. His eyes bright silver in the darkness, and the wind blowing through his untied hair like dark flag._

_"Nezumi," Shion breathed in surprise, "You're here."_

_Nezumi reached up and placed a hand against his face. It was warm, but rough and callused, and it sent a jolt through Shion like a shot of fire._

_"Nezumi?"_

_Nezumi smiled, stroking his thumb along the end of Shion's red scar like he'd done only twice before, but this time it was different. It wasn't teasing or rooted in comfort. It was a touch born from something else entirely._

_Nezumi leaned closer, his eyes so close that they were all Shion could see. He could smell the sent off Nezumi's skin, and feel his breath against his lips._

_"Shion…"_

_Then the darkness began to lighten._

_The light was like the sun was rising, reflected in Nezumi's eyes but that was all Shion could see of it. He wanted to turn around, to see it for himself. So he tried._

_"Shion," Nezumi's voice halted him, it was full of something different then Shion had ever heard in it before. "Don't. Don't look away."_

_Shion wavered. Something about what Nezumi said sounded almost afraid, and that frightened Shion too. For a moment he was able to ignore everything else, and he wanted nothing more to lean closer to Nezumi, just to be with him. But then a loud roaring, something like cheers, rose up from behind._

_Shion started. He didn't think when he spun around, his motions knocking Nezumi's hand away as he whirled._

_Laid out before him was an afternoon lit plaza crowded with people cheering and shouting his name._

_Shion sucked in a breath, so surprised it made him feel woozy. He looked down, his clothes were thick, vibrant robes, a heavy gold crown making pressure around the top of his head._

_"All hail his royal highness! Long live King Shion!"_

_"LONG LIVE THE KING!"_

_Shion stuttered, "Nezumi… Nezumi it's—,"_

_Shion turned around._

_Gone._

_The field and the trees, the starry darkness and the wind._

_And Nezumi._

_It was all gone, and there was only the bright afternoon where Shion was King._

_And he was alone._

Shion shot up in bed, gasping at a word with not enough breath for it. He swung into a seated position and ran into a sharp pain that shattered through his head, leaving him dizzy.

Shion groaned.

A musical laugh rang from near the wall.

"Don't get up so fast, you airhead," teased an amused, berating voice. "You probably have a hangover."

Shion blinked, raising his head, slowly this time, to look across the room.

What he found was Nezumi, already dressed in his jacket and scarf from last night. He was standing at one of Shion's bookshelves, skimming through his collection. One finger slid along the spines.

"Nezumi?" Shion was sobbingly relieved as his eyes took in the dark, pony-tailed boy before him. "You're still here!"

Nezumi glanced over his shoulder with a grin. "Well I didn't want to make you feel cheap a second time. Not after that display you put on last night to drag me into bed."

Shion flushed, so red his scar disappeared against his skin. "Stop it, Nezumi! I remember last night, I wasn't that drunk!"

Nezumi laughed.

A knock came at the door.

"Prince Shion?" A small voice asked from the other side. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," Shion replied rubbing his temple and glaring at Nezumi, "Did you need something Hana?"

"His Majesty asked us to serve a large breakfast for everyone in the dining hall. He requested your presence."

"Of course," Shion replied, "I'll be along shortly."

"And your grace? He asked me to send for someone named Eve as well. Do you happen to know to whom he was referring?"

Shion shot a look to Nezumi from across the bed. Nezumi smirked in reply, waving his hand as if beckoning Shion to respond.

Shion rubbed his forehead. "Don't worry, Hana, I'll find Eve, you just go help with breakfast."

"Oh, thank you, Your Grace." Hana replied, and Shion heard her scurry off down the hall.

"Get dressed, Your Majesty," said Nezumi brightly, "Seems we've got a breakfast to attend."

* * *

 

"Who is that?" Shion asked when Nezumi and he had reached the dining hall for breakfast. His eyes were on an older looking man whose head was leant together with Shion's father. The two of them seeming to be discussing something.

"My manager," Nezumi answered but his voice sounded suspicious and dark. Shion glanced over and found him with narrowed eyes.

"What is it?" Shion asked immediately, and Nezumi spared him a questioning glance.

"You seem anxious."

Nezumi looked affronted at his choice of words.

"Not at all," He said, sweeping away Shion's accusation with his tone. "It's just that he didn't travel here with us. I didn't know he was planning on coming at all."

At this Shion felt some of his own apprehension rise in his stomach. "I see."

The two boys sat down together in the two remaining seats.

"Well, it looks like everyone is here," said the king a while later, and Shion looked up. He watched the kings eyes fall on him for a moment before he continued.

"I have an announcement to make."

"I've spent this morning discussing with Mr. Ichigan an idea." The king began looking around the table. His eyes landed on Shion and stuck.

"The truth is that I have been considering a way for my son Shion to take on more responsibility now that he is getting older. I've thought over what would be the right stepping stone to teach him out to be a leader, and last night something just hit me."

The king looked around the table one more time. "I've decided that I am buying the West Side Acting Troop, and putting my son Shion in charge as the new manager."

Shion spat water. Nezumi's leg hit the table making a thump.

"What?" Shion sputtered, looking his father in the eyes. "I don't have any idea how to run an acting troop! Peoples livelihoods are at stake!"

The king smiled, "Don't worry Shion, I'm not sending you in alone. Mr. Ichigan will still stay on as a director and assistant manager to help. Your job will be the more practical aspect. Promotion, organization, and general leading of the troop in it's activities. This way you can learn how to be in charge of other people."

Shion stared at his step-father, "I…." his thoughts were going a little too fast for him. "I'm—-

"In summation," King Rikiga continued without notice. "The acting troop will now be staying at the castle and answering to Shion. Anything and everything you do goes through him now. And Shion, that means anything that happens is now your responsibility. Congratulations."

Shion sucked in a breath. The acting troop… will be staying…

Shion's eyes immediately went to Nezumi, without even thinking about it. When they did, he found Nezumi's eyes were already on him, but the look in them was surprising.

It was a look like ice.

"Well? Shion? You are up to the responsibility aren't you?"

Shion turned back, "Huh? Oh, yes. Thank you father." Shion bowed his head and the king smiled.

"Well then! It's settled. Enjoy breakfast everyone!"

There was a violent scratching of a chair.

Shion turned. Nezumi had gotten up and was stalking out of the room, his hair over his eyes so Shion couldn't see his expression. When he reached the door to the dining hall he walked out in a storm and let it slam behind him.

The room fell silent.

Shion felt something cold shoot through his chest.

"uh…" said one of the other actors "I'll go check on him…" he moved to stand.

"No!" Shion said, stumbling to his feet. "I.. umm… I'll go. I need learn to be responsible for things like this." Shion stumbled through the excuse before throwing his napkin on the table and dashing out of the room after Nezumi.

When he first reached the corridor he couldn't see him, but finally he noticed a dark shape standing by a window at the end of the hall.

Shion's eyes widened, "Nezumi!"

Shion ran up to him half out of breath and had to pause to catch it, but the dark haired boy didn't turn around. Instead Nezumi was staring out the window with one arm braced against it and his forehead pressed to his arm.

"Nezumi?" Shion asked, his eyebrows furrowing. "I know my dad must have surprised you. I'm sorry he got involved in your work like that, without consulting the rest of you. But I promise I'll work hard, and you can help me if you—."

"Shut up," Nezumi snapped.

Shion balked, his heart sinking in his chest.

"I'm sorry," Shion said again.

Everything in the small white haired boy seemed to lower then, like every part of him wanted to sink into the floor. Maybe it had only been a momentary thought… but part of him had wanted to see Nezumi excited to stay.

He didn't know why he wanted it. Only that it disappointed him when it wasn't there.

There were a few full moments of silence before Nezumi finally spoke again.

"Why are you standing there?" He hissed, still refusing to turn back.

Shion's eyes snapped up. "What do you mean?"

Nezumi half turned his head around, so that one silver eye met Shion's and the gold light through the window caught his black hair.

"If anyone else had run out of the room," Nezumi said, his eyes narrowing. "What would you have done?"

Shion blinked. "I…."

"You're our boss now," Nezumi said. He turned around and leaned his back against the window, his arms folding over his chest. "Do you understand what that means?"

Shion searched Nezumi's face, his heart beating faster in his chest. "I'm…trying to."

"It's means things are different," Nezumi said. "It means from this point on, you don't know me. I don't know you. Anything we've said to each other— anything you know about me…" Nezumi's eyes flashed as he looked up. "Forget it. Right now."

Shion's eyes widened, "But—,"

"You're part of my job now, Shion." Nezumi said, pushing off the window and walking around Shion back down the hall. "Besides that, I'm just like any of the other actors. And you're just the mighty prince—"

Shion bristled, "I told you I'm not—,"

"You didn't tell me anything!" Nezumi snapped, wheeling around. "That's what I'm saying. It never happened! None of it, got it?" Nezumi turned back around.

"Oh," He said, over his shoulder as he started walking away, "And don't call me Nezumi anymore. If you don't address me by my stage name, the other guys will notice."

Then he walked away and was gone.

Shion felt like something hard and dense was trying to force it's way through his chest and out the other side as he watched Nezumi walk away.

_Why?_

_Why is Nezumi acting like this?_

_Why suddenly? Until now—_

Shion's thoughts seemed to catch up to each other and run smack into a wall.

_Until now… what is that really?_

_Last night? Four years ago?_

Shion dropped his head, looking at the ground.

_That's right_ , he thought.

_Were me and Nezumi ever more than strangers to begin with?_

Shion spent the rest of the day in meetings with Rikiga and Ichigan. They discussed details of the new arrangement with the acting troop. Rooms for the actors, the next play they should preform, when to start casting and rehearsals. When it was over Shion was so exhausted of talking and sitting that his bones ached.

The sun was beginning to set outside. The castle staff has begun setting to work on dinner, and the halls were dim and quiet as Shion made his way back to his room.

Maybe I should just skip dinner, Shion thought as he walked, gazing out the windows and watching the sun set over the castle grounds. I don't particularly want to face Nezumi— or… Eve— again today.

"Shion?"

Shion looked up to find his mother walking towards him down the hall.

"Hello mom," muttered Shion, still distracted by his thoughts. Shion's mother raised an eyebrow.

"Is something the matter, dear?"

"Just… " Shion hesitated, "I'm feeling a little tired. I celebrated a little too much last night I suppose."

Karen looked sympathetic, "Don't want to tell me what's really bothering you?"

Shion grimaced. He hated when she did that.

"There's just someone…" Shion hesitated, "Someone I don't understand. They seem to want nothing to do with me, but I can imagine what I did to them."

Karen eyebrows pulled together, "Oh, well… did they say it was something you did?"

Shion furrowed his brow, "Not really in words… no."

Karen tilted her head, "Then maybe you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Maybe this is something about them."

Shion frowned at that.

"I don't know…"

"Well, give it time," Karen said, smiling and reaching out to pull Shion forward and kissing the top of his head. "If you watch and listen, it might surprise what you'll see in time."

Shion half smiled, "Maybe you're right."

Karen's smile widened, "Are you going to head to dinner?"

Shion made a face. "Is it just going to be us?"

"I think the actors' troop is joining us," She replied, a knowing smile on her face. "You know Shion… watching and listening requires a little effort on your part."

Shion sighed.

"All right," he agreed, taking his mother's arm. "I'll try."

Karen laughed. "That's my boy," She said and the two of them walked towards the dining all for dinner.

Shion tried to keep his eyes straight ahead as he walked into the dining hall. He walked to the head of the long table, pulling his mother's chair out and then moving to sit in his own.

The table was mostly empty still. But as the servants finished setting out the food, the actors stumbled in from the hall. Even so Shion kept his eyes cast forward. Keeping up a constant chatter with his mother about anything he could think of just to occupy himself.

It wasn't until the king walked in and the room went quiet that he finally turned his head.

Everyone stood as the king came in. Standing in silence as he walked from the door to his seat. It wasn't until he gave a wave of his hand and sat in his chair that everyone finally sat down again. But still no one tried to speak.

"Good evening everyone," said Rikiga, "Please be at ease and enjoy the meal."

Finally everyone relaxed and sound once again filled the room.

Shion felt an almost painful pull to look for Nezumi as the meal began. He tried to ignore it as he filled his plate and struck up a conversation with his mother about the food. Then, after few moments though, the temptation became too much.

He tried to be subtle as possible as he glanced towards the rest of the table. Only moving his eyes and pretending to be taking a drink the whole time.

When his eyes found Nezumi he was instantly caught.

Nezumi looked up at him. It was like he sensed Shion's eyes the moment they touched him, the steel color of them seeming to darken as they met.

Shion looked away, trying to fight back a blush as he absorbed himself in eating his meal and pretending as if nothing had happened. He thought he could feel Nezumi's eyes for a few moments longer though, like a weight on the side of his face.

When dinner finally started to wind down– and everyone was finishing their wine– Shion was bouncing with impatience to leave the room.

A moment later though, his impatience was sorely crushed.

"Shion," Rikiga spoke up, having just finished a conversation with Karan. "When dinner is over, I'll need you too show the actors to their rooms."

Shion looked up in horror. "What? But I don't know which rooms you decided on for everyone."

"The scribe drew it up," Rikiga replied. He reached into his pocket and retrieved a piece of parchment with a small map scrawled across it. "Use this and show each actor to their room."

Shion took the parchment in dismay.

"Do it now," Rikiga said when Shion didn't immediately stand up. "Before everyone gets drunk off their wine."

Shion winced and stood at his seat.

"Excuse me," He spoke up, tapping a fork against his glass until the actors quieted down. Once they had all looked up at Shion, the faired boy felt a tremor run up his spine. He could feel Nezumi's eyes even as he did everything is his power to avoid looking at him.

"If the actors will please come with me, it is time to show you to your rooms. We have rehearsals starting early tomorrow in the grand hall, and everyone needs to get some sleep."

The actors faces spoke silent grumbles at this statement but they did all begin to stand up from their chairs.

"This way," said Shion, moving away from the table and heading into the hall. He didn't need to look back to hear the sound of the twenty or so men and boys turning to follow him.

Shion looked down at the map to find the room closest to him. He noticed small notes from Ichigan, detailing instructions about each of the actors. Why they needed to be in one room or another. Shion read them and then glanced up to find each individuals name on the map. When he located the closest room he headed in that direction.

"Nathaniel, and Jordan" Shion called, turning around and waiting for a response. A blonde man and a short boy stepped forward.

"This room," Shion instructed, reaching out and pushing open the door.

The two actors stepped forward towards the door.

"All your belongs should be inside," Shion explained as they entered and looked around. Please let me know if their are any problems."

The rest of the rooms went essentially the same way. Some of the actors were in pairs. Others were in small rooms alone. Mostly, they were all housed along one long corridor. It made organizing them go by quickly.

Each time another room filled, Shion became more nervous. He began to turning around less as the group grew smaller, and it grew more and more likely that he would have to call out Nezumi's name.

By the time they got down to only about four people, Shion started to panic and wonder if he'd somehow missed something. He decided to glance over the rest of the map, looking for where Nezumi got placed, worrying they'd somehow forgotten him. That's when Shion noticed the name Eve scrawled with some notes on one side of the page.

"Tends to be a loner, and easily aggravated" the notes said beneath Eve's name. "can also be a trouble maker so it would be best to keep him somewhere away from others where you can keep an eye on him."

Shion's eyes widened. He followed the arrow that pointed out the room intended for Nezumi, and found 'Eve' scrawled in the middle of a room.

Shion choked on his air.

"Something wrong, your highness?" someone asked. Shion looked up to find Nezumi looking at him from a few feet away.

"Eve," one of the other actors hissed to him below their breath. "Watch your tone,"

"Everything's fine," Shion said, gathering himself up. "I was just looking something over. This way, please."

Shion hurried to finish. Pointing out the last few rooms until there was just Nezumi. The second the last door closed Nezumi looked over at Shion with cold eyes.

"You didn't leave me until last on purpose, did you highness?" Nezumi asked, raising an accusing eyebrow. "I told you—,"

"Actually," Shion interrupted, unwilling to hear another one of Nezumi's speeches. "I was incidental. But probably for the best, so the others don't see your reaction."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nezumi asked, seeming to tense like he was going to fight something. Shion swallowed.

"Here," he said, holding the parchment out to the dark haired boy. "See for yourself."

Nezumi took the paper and began scanning it with his eyes. He raised his eyebrows in response to some of what he saw there, but it took a few moments before his eyes widened and Shion knew he had found it.

"Ichigan," Nezumi sneered, "That bastard. What the hell is he doing putting me in the east hall by myself? What, I'm not safe to have around other people?"

Shion raised his eyebrows. "You didn't notice did you?"

Nezumi looked up. "Notice what?"

"You're room is the one just outside of mine," Shion explained. "it's the prince's guest room. Rikiga must have told Ichigan I never use it for anything."

Nezumi's eyes widened, "What? Why would they do that?"

"Sounds like they want me to look after you," said Shion, keeping his expression smooth and careless.

Nezumi's eyes narrowed.

"Do you want me to have it changed?" Shion asked. "I can have a word with Rikiga."

"No," Nezumi shoved the paper back at Shion. "I said I didn't want special treatment from you."

Shion frowned, "Nezumi—,"

"Let's go," The raven boy snapped. "I need to go to bed."

Shion looked away. "Fine. It's this way."

Shion lead Nezumi down the hall.

The east hall was just a short bend made from where the main hall turned a corner to wrap around the central garden. The wall on the right side was set entirely in windows over looking it, and at the end, sat tall double doors carved out of dark wood. This was Shion's room.

On the left wall though, was a pair of smaller, simpler doors that lead to the guest room. Shion stopped in front of these and threw them open, stepping back so Nezumi could see inside.

"Well there you go." Said Shion, gesturing into the room. It was simple, but it had a large bed and a seat by the window where someone could read. Plus a wash station pushed up against one wall. Shion also noticed there was now a handful of bags lying across the bed that must have been Nezumi's belongings.

"Have pleasant dreams," said Shion, turning around an heading towards his own room. "I'll try not to bother you."

It was a bitter comment, but Shion couldn't hold it back. Some part of him couldn't help but throw something back at Nezumi. Now that they were alone. Once he said it, though, he tried to hurry away towards his room as soon as possible. He was almost there when he heard a low voice say his name.

"Shion?"

Shion stopped and slowly turned around. Nezumi wasn't looking at him. He was facing into the room with his hands in his pockets, like he was hesitating.

"Yes?"

"It isn't about you, you know," said Nezumi, his voice low and hard to hear.

Shion turned completely around. "You're shutting me out, aren't you?

There was a long pause.

"You wouldn't understand" said Nezumi finally.

Shion frowned. "Don't look down on me."

Nezumi looked over at him. His eyes glaring.

"I'm not looking down on you!"

"Yes you are," Shion snapped back. "You're making a decision for both of us because you think your smarter than me. You won't even explain it to me! What exactly does that sound like to you?"

Nezumi scoffed and turned away.

"You brat," he growled, pulling his hands out of his pockets and storming into his room.

He grabbed onto both doors and looked Shion in the eyes.

"You don't know anything!"

And he slammed the door.

Shion glared at the closed door another moment before storming into his own room. He slammed the door loud enough that Nezumi would hear it, and for a moment after he just leaned against it. Pressing his forehead against the cool wood.

"Why do I feel like this?" Shion whispered to himself. "He's just some stupid punk."

Then Shion turned away and started to prepare for bed.

 


	4. Lessons and Motivations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shion and Nezumi continue to struggle in their new roles at the palace.

"We're doing Twelfth Night?" one of the actors asked the following afternoon when the entire acting troop had gathered in the grand hall.

"Yes," Ichigan replied with a distracted wave. "And today is start of auditions."

"Auditions?" someone else asked, seeming confused. "Don't you know us all well enough by now?"

"It was my idea," Shion said, speaking up from his seat at the foot of the stage. "I'm unfamiliar with you all and this will give me a chance to understand you better now that I'm in charge of casting."

"Besides, you could all do with a little bit of competition," Ichigan added. "You're all lazy as cows, and since you arrived at the palace your egos have grown."

There was a half laughing grumble from the crew.

"Well, shall we get on with it?" Ichigan asked. "Your Grace, would you care to explain?"

Shion cleared his throat and stood up.

"Everyone will be reading twice," Shion began. "Once from a selected monologue everyone will share, and once from a scene of your choosing. You have the rest of the afternoon to choose a scene and rehearse. This evening before dinner we will begin the first round of auditioning."

"What is the monologue going to be?" A younger boy asked, Shion couldn't help but smile.

"It's act five, scene one, line 117 said by Duke Orsino."

"'Why should I not, had I the heart to do it," said a voice. Shion looked up to see Nezumi— his script closed on his lap— looking at him with mischievous eyes. "'kill what I love?— a savage jealousy that sometimes savors nobly.'"

Shion struggled to keep his smooth expression. "That's correct," Shion made a show of tilting his head as if thinking. "What was it again…?"

"Eve," Nezumi replied without faltering. His lips curving up, amused.

Shion nodded as if to say, Oh that's right, "You already have it memorized, Eve?"

"I like twelfth night," Nezumi responded, shifting back in his chair and crossing one leg over the other. "A woman pretending to be a man isn't so far off from me playing a woman every night."

This comment got a few whistles.

"Who else could do it but you, Eve?"

"Yeah, look at that pretty face of yours!"

"I like you better in a dress,"

A wave of laughter.

Nezumi turned sharply to look at them, and the room fell silent again.

Shion raised his eyebrows. "I see. Well…" he had to clear his throat. "We will take that into consideration. Now everyone, please begin your rehearsal."

The crew began standing up and dispersing. Forming pairs or groups to practice with like they did it everyday and didn't have to think about it. Shion watched and noticed Nezumi on his own moving towards the doors.

Shion walked after him "Rehearsal is mandatory," He called out. The two of them were just outside the doors as Nezumi glanced back at him, clearly annoyed.

"I work better with quiet," said Nezumi, his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jacket and his script tucked under his arm. "I'm just going into the hall."

"All by your self?" Shion questioned, raising his eyebrows. "How do you know if your any good if you practice by yourself?"

Nezumi frowned at this, "Do you have complaints from my last performance?"

Shion flushed and looked away. He didn't, of course. Nezumi had been heartbreaking and enchanting, but Shion didn't feel like voicing that aloud.

"If you need a partner—,"

"I don't," said Nezumi and he moved to turn back around.

Shion stepped forward. For a moment Nezumi tensed as if preparing for something violent, but Shion simply snatched the script out from under his arm. The dark haired boy seemed to stop in surprise.

"What scene do you want to read from?" Shion asked, flipping the script open and scanning the pages.

"What are you doing?" Nezumi demanded, furious. "Give that back or I'll take it and hurt you."

"You don't need it do you?" Shion asked, raising a challenging eyebrow. Nezumi balked in surprise, making a frustrated noise.

"You're a nuisance."

"What scene?" Shion repeated without looking up.

Nezumi let out a breath.

"Act two scene four," Nezumi relented after a long pause of seeming to battle with himself. "If you insist on 'helping' then just read the duke's lines."

"You're reading for Viola then," Shion smiled.

Nezumi rolled his eyes, "Just read," He snapped.

Shion almost smiled at how worked up Nezumi was. He was usually someone much more collected and much more smug.

"Should I start at the beginning?"

"Start with the line before mine."

Shion scanned the page until he found what he was looking for. He cleared his throat.

"Come hither boy; if ever thou shalt love, in the sweet pangs of it remember me. For such as I am all true lovers are, unstaid and skittish in all motions else, save in the constant image of the creature beloved. How dost thou like this tune?"

Shion kept his eyes on the page to follow Nezumi's lines but Nezumi didn't respond right away. Shion waited a moment before finally looking up to inspect his face, and found an almost appalled expression.

"That was…" Nezumi seemed to search for the word, "almost impressively flat."

Shion blinked, "I was just reading it…"

"Most people even read with more inflection." Nezumi chuckled. "Here I thought all the interest in theatre was because you were trying to learn to act. That's what I suggested, but clearly you haven't been learning."

Shion's cheeks flamed, "What was so wrong about it?"

"Everything,"

Shion's flush darkened.

The dark haired shook his head, "I don't know if I can listen to you butcher this."

Shion ducked his head, "Well why don't you teach me if it bothers you so much"

Nezumi looked at him. "What?"

Shion straighten his shoulders. "I'm asking you to teach me."

Nezumi furrowed his eyebrows, "correct me if I'm wrong, but five seconds ago, weren't you questioning if I can even act?"

Shion shook his head, "I wasn't saying that, I think you're amazing."

Nezumi seemed to have some kind of reaction to that, making his muscles tense up as he rubbed his neck.

"I thought I told you we're supposed to be professional only from now on."

It was Shion's turn to tense now.

"Acting is your profession. I'll hire you."

This answer seemed to exhaust Nezumi as his shoulders slumped.

For a moment Shion thought he might just give in. But then the dark boy's bright steel eyes rose to meet his gaze.

"Why?"

Shion eyebrows rose.

Why?

The question brought three images to Shion's mind.

The first was the look on Rikiga's face the previous morning when he spoke about Shion becoming a leader. The half doubtful frown the made deep creases around the kings mouth.

The second was Nezumi, still a dark haired child wrapped in bandages. He was looking at him and saying "Did you ever think that believing in those things is the exact reason you should be king?"

The last was just a day ago, the sight of Nezumi's back as he walked away from him down the hall.

It means things are different.

Shion looked at the ground. "Do you remember the idea you had about convincing Rikiga? When we were kids?"

Nezumi's eyebrows rose. "That's what this is about?"

Shion hesitated, staring into Nezumi's eyes before nodding.

Nezumi held Shion's gaze another couple moments, and then sighed.

"If it's so important to you," he answered finally with a heavy breath, "Fine."

Shion perked up. "Really?"

Nezumi shot him a look.

Shion blushed and looked away. "Do you want to continue with your scene then?"

Nezumi ran a hand over his hair.

"I'm tempted to say no. This scene doesn't deserve what you're about to put it through."

Shion flinched at that, "Nezumi!"

They ended up spending most of the afternoon practicing for Nezumi's audition.

Nezumi insisted he didn't need the practice. Shion said he didn't want to get in the way of Nezumi's work. In the end they compromised by Nezumi smacking Shion on the knuckles everytime he read Nezumi's cue line in a flat voice.

Shion was certain he would have the bruises for days.

Shion didn't mind it though. Nezumi getting frustrated and teasing him was more fun than he'd had with the dark haired boy since his birthday.

When auditions did come around though, Nezumi said something that surprised Shion.

"You can't do the audition with me," Nezumi said, stopping Shion from walking in out of the hallway.

"What?" Shion asked, "Won't it be difficult to do on your own?"

Nezumi frowned, "Well I'm not going to let the other actors think I'm kissing up to you for the part. Actors are a jealous breed to start with. That certainly doesn't get better if they think someone's getting special favors."

Shion raised his eyebrows. "They'd think that?"

Nezumi rolled his eyes, "Of course they would. Which brings me to another thing. Keep your mouth shut about your acting lessons. I'll decide when and where we do them, and you can wait until I tell you."

Shion blinked, "Why on earth would they be jealous of you teaching me?"

Nezumi looked at Shion with annoyed dubious eyes, "They wouldn't. It's just that they'll never believe that's what's going on."

Shion raised his eyebrows, "What do you mean? What would they think?"

At first Nezumi's eyes went flat. Shion thought he might be about to smack him again. Then the actor reached out and grabbed him by the collar and yanked him until his ear was inches from Nezumi's mouth.

"They'd think I was seducing you, moron." Nezumi said, and his breath blew against Shion's skin making him have to fight off a shiver.

Shion flushed red as Nezumi released him and he stumbled away. By the time he gathered his wits and looked back, Nezumi was already walking inside the grand hall.

Shion had a hard time paying attention during auditions. He couldn't get what Nezumi said out of his mind. He found himself wondering if it was that kind of thing that had made Nezumi want to keep his distance from Shion in the first place.

He didn't have time to think about it, though. He was trying to focus. And lucky for Shion, Nezumi was one of the first few auditions, and it pulled Shion's attention back to the stage.

At first Shion worried about what Nezumi would do up there all by himself. But then he noticed one of the other actors was following him. Apparently he had prepared the same scene.

"…how does thou like this tune?" the other actor was saying when Shion gathered himself enough to pay attention.

"It gives a very echo to the seas where love is throned."

"Thou dost speak masterly: my life upon't, young though thou art, thine eye hath stay'd upon some favour that it loves: hath it not, boy?"

Nezumi looked embarrassed, and gazed at the other actor. The look made a jolt run through Shion.

He'd never thought he'd see a look like that on Nezumi's face. A sort of vulnerable affection.

Shion tried to remind himself that it was acting, but his heart had sped in his chest.

"A little, by your favour," said Nezumi

"What kind of a woman is it?"

Nezumi smiled, and for the briefest moment, Shion thought his eyes shifted to look at him, but it was over before he could be sure.

"Of your complexion,"

"She is not worth thee, then," the other actor said with a pleasing humor, "What years, i' faith?"

"About your years, my lord."

"Too old by heaven: let still the woman take an elder than herself: so wears she to him, so sways she level in her husband's heart: for, boy, however we do praise ourselves, our fancies are more giddy and infirm, more longing, wavering, sooner lost and worn, than women's are."

Shion found himself taken a back at this. The other actor spoke so well, it gave the line a whole new meaning to him.

"I think it well my lord," Nezumi replied.

"Then let thy love be younger than thyself, or thy affection cannot hold the bent; for woman are as roses, whose fair flower being once display'd, doth fall that very hour."

Nezumi's expression made Shion suck in a breath.

"And so they are: alas, that they are so; to die even when they to perfection grow!"

As the audition finished there was clapping. Shion had to contain himself to look smoothed face, as not to show favor to any auditions over the others. Still, his pulse was a little high.

Nezumi and his partner bowed, and Nezumi read the Duke's monologue.

This one got to Shion too. The way Nezumi's emotions flowed through the words. It was somewhat startling to Shion. It made him realize how infrequent it was that Nezumi had ever showed his own emotions when they had been together. It had always been like those steel gray eyes hardened around his soul and nothing escaped between them.

When audtions had completely ended, it was time for dinner.

The energy in the room seemed to rise exponentially the moment food became involved. Everyone stood and began to file out the room in groups as they all chatted about the potential parts they wanted.

Shion stayed behind. He gathered up some of the notes he took about the auditions. A couple of the actors came up to him and teased him about what he thought. Shion just smiled, and avoided saying anything where he could.

"See you at dinner, your grace." Ichigan said as he walked out, waving over his shoulder. Shion waved back at him in return.

As he did, he noticed Nezumi leaving, alone again, through the door. The dark haired didn't look back as he did it, and it was like Shion wasn't even there.

Shion tried to stop the disappointment that fell over him. He wasn't sure exactly what he expected. Part of him just wished he could talk to Nezumi freely, just like everybody else.

Shion was despondant over dinner, but tried not to show it. He spoke with his mother, and gave hushed reports about the day to Rikiga, but over all he just felt like he couldn't focus. He didn't taste anything he ate.

His mind kept going back to when Nezumi grabbed him. Thinking over and over again about what he said. Was Nezumi really just trying to protect the image they gave off to the others?

Shion frowned. He didn't want anyone to think Nezumi would do something underhanded like that. Nezumi was an incredible actor, he deserved what he got because of his talent.

Maybe Shion was being selfish by not doing as Nezumi asked and keeping his distance from him.

Shion was considering this when dinner finally ended. He didn't notice at first, when everyone else had gotten up. It was his mother that drew his attention, and he walked with her to her room and said good night.

Still somewhat overwhelmed by his thoughts, Shion headed for his own room through the quiet hallways. It was dark out, and the torchlight guttered, casting shadows on the wall. This sent a bit of a chill down Shion's spine.

He wasn't usually frightened of the castle anymore, not since he was younger. Even being alone he thought he'd grown accustomed to it's echoing halls and shrouded corners.

This said he couldn't shake the feeling he wasn't alone.

Shion opened the door to his room, glancing around a little as he entered, then he sighed. In the smaller space he began to feel more relaxed, and he started removing his tie.

Then something struck him in the back.

Shion landed face down on his bed and was about to shout when a hand clamped down over his mouth, smothering it.

"You're an airhead, you know,"

Shion squeaked.

A chuckle.

"Someone could easily kill you, being that clueless. It's a wonder you've made it as prince for the past four years."

Shion tried to roll to see Nezumi's face but the weight of the boy on his back stopped him from being able to move.

"Easy, easy," Nezumi sighed, leaning back so that he was only straddling Shion's hips instead of sitting on him. "I'm not going to hurt you, princess. I told you I would show up for lessons when I felt like it."

Shion made a noise.

Nezumi sighed, "Promise not to scream and I'll uncover your mouth."

Shion nodded his head and the hand disappeared.

"You want to practice now?" Shion demanded.

"When better?" Nezumi asked, "We're both busy during the day, and no one will come looking for us this late. That way no one will know."

Shion frowned.

"For someone so concerned about appearance, you don't seem worried about a compromising position."

Nezumi chuckled, "You mean the one where I could kill you before you could blink?"

Shion flushed, "The one where you've pinned me to my bed!"

Nezumi laughed harder, "Why is that so compromising, choir boy? Am I getting you a little hot and bothered?"

Nezumi nipped at his ear and Shion jolted with almost enough force to throw Nezumi off balance.

The actor only laughed harder, but he did finally move off of Shion, rolling on to the bed.

"So innocent, Shion."

"I am not!" Shion huffed, pushing off the bed and leaning away. "I wasn't— that wasn't what I meant!"

"Sure," Nezumi snorted.

Shion felt his blush all the way down his neck.

"Are you going to teach me now?"

"Absolutely," said Nezumi cheerfully, "Let start with this."

Nezumi stood and went to Shion's book shelf.

He picked out a book and the came back dropping it in Shion's lap.

"Romeo and Juliet?" Shion read the title aloud. "Why this one?"

"Because," Nezumi explained. "The characters are young and naive. So you'll have an easier time understanding their motivations. You have to understand first, before you can try to act."

"But Rikiga wants me to be cruel and mean." Shion pointed out, "How will this help?"

"Because I'm teaching you how to act, in general," Nezumi explained. "Being cruel is way too far out of your natural character for you to handle right now. If we can work our way there, though, then maybe you can pull it off."

Shion looked confused, "Are you sure about this?"

Nezumi smacked his head, "Stop questioning the teacher! Open the book."

Shion opened it.

"What scene?"

"Have you read it?"

"Yes,"

"What scene do you know the best?"

Shion blushed again.

Nezumi raised an eyebrow, "What?"

Shion mumbled something.

Nezumi forehead creased, "What was that?"

Shion coughed. "The balcony scene."

"Ah," Nezumi nodded. "And that embarrasses the snow-white little choir boy because it's the love scene?"

Shion ducked his head and Nezumi laughed.

"That's one of the easiest scenes to remember," Nezumi assured him. "It's the pinnacle of everything the play is about."

Shion looked up.

Nezumi smiled, "Well turn there then. Act 2 Scene 2."

Shion turned.

"You try to read some of Romeo's lines and then explain to me what you think his motivation is. Don't over think it on this one, Romeo as a character isn't exactly closed off about his feelings."

Shion nodded and started to read.

"But soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise fair sun, and kill the envious moon, who is already sick and pale with grief that you, her made, art far more fair than she." Shion continued to read until he finally reached the end of the line and looked up at Nezumi.

Nezumi stared at him, "Well?"

Shion frowned, "He's sort of babbling."

Nezumi snorted, "Ok… why?"

Shion glanced down, "Because he likes Juliet."

"Likes her?" Nezumi smirked.

Shion pursed his lips, "Loves her, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well he's only just met her hasn't he?"

Nezumi chuckled, "Okay, so you're saying that it's not likely that he loves her, because they've only just met. So people can't just meet for one night and after that, not be able to stop thinking about each other?"

Shion jumped a little at those words. He wanted to read Nezumi's face but didn't have the courage to meet his eyes.

"Well…" Shion murmured, "Maybe it's not…. impossible."

Nezumi crossed his arms. "Oh?"

Shion cleared his throat, "Maybe he could love Juliet. He seems to think that he does, so he's saying all this… because seeing her… it makes him really happy, and he can't stop talking about her."

"Is that your answer."

Shion nodded.

Nezumi sighed, "Well… I'd give it a B-. You kind of jumped around, but you're thinking about it, which is a start. Next line, then."

"Juliet's?"

Nezumi shook his head, "Romeo's. Actually— here."

Nezumi sat down beside Shion so he could read the book.

"I'll read Juliet's lines, then you try to see if you can understand her motivations by listening to me. Maybe looking at the lines as a bunch of words is part of your problem."

Shion nodded, "All right."

"We'll read to the end of the next page, then you can explain to me what you think about what was going on."

"Okay." Shion agreed.

"Ay me!" Nezumi sighed heavily.

Shion frowned at him, "You're screwing around."

Nezumi rolled his eyes, "What if I was taking it seriously?"

Shion shook his head, "I can tell."

Nezumi chuckled, "Well that's a good sign at least. Read your line."

It went on like that until the end of the page when Nezumi stopped him.

"Ok, what's going on?"

Shion shrugged, "Romeo is spying on her?"

Nezumi snorted, "What else?'

"Juliet seems upset. She wants him to give up on his family and his name so that he can be with her."

Nezumi nodded, "Is that love or is she being selfish?"

Shion thought about it. "Well… I see how it sounds a little selfish. But it's the only way they can be together, and she says she would do they same thing if he said he loved her."

Nezumi eyebrows rose, "That's true. So you think love is more important than family obligations?"

Shion shrugged, "I think it's a choice you have the right to make. What you think is the most important is the thing you should go after."

Nezumi nodded slowly, "I see." he cleared his throat. "Keep reading."

They went on until the end of the scene. Shion frowned.

"Did they kiss?"

Nezumi snorted. "No."

"I saw this show once… and I could have sworn…

"Acting crews make some personal choices, sometimes, when doing shows." Nezumi explained.

"Well.. it kind of changes the scene."

"It does?"

"Yes." Shion said, "It makes it seem almost like she's teasing him."

Nezumi burst out laughing, "Why is that?"

"She keeping going inside, and coming back, then back inside, then coming back out—,"

Nezumi was laughing so hard he was holding his stomach.

"I never thought I'd hear that from you!"

"What do you mean?" Shion demanded.

"I didn't even think you understood what a kiss was!"

Shion flushed, "I understand!"

Nezumi chuckled, "Well, either way. They kissed before at the party. It's only been a few hours."

Shion's eyes widened. "They did?"

Nezumi glanced at him, "Well yeah."

"But they'd only just met at the party!"

Nezumi shrugged, "I guess it was just too tempting for them."

Shion turned red again. "Seriously?"

"Well let's see." Nezumi took the book and turned backwards.

He handed it to Shion.

"What do you think their motivations were?"

Shion read, "I think they just took word play a little too far."

Nezumi had to smother more laugher.

"I think it was flirting."

Shion looked at him, "Flirting?"

Nezumi's eyes widened and then he shook his head. "Never mind."

"What is he talking about? Sinning?" Shion asked, "If kissing is sinning why are they doing it?"

Nezumi looked baffled, "I don't think that's exactly what they meant."

"What do you think?"

"I think it was an excuse for another kiss," Nezumi said bluntly.

"But they already kissed. Why did he need an excuse?"

Nezumi put his head in his hands.

"I think I had it right the first time. You have no idea what you're talking about."

Shion frowned, "I'm trying!"

Nezumi sighed, "You can't rationalize kissing. That's not going to help you understand it."

"Then what will?"

Nezumi was silent for a moment, he sighed.

"Shion?"

Shion looked up from the book and turned his head towards Nezumi. Once he had, Nezumi's hand came around and cradled his face along the jaw.

He leaned in and pressed their lips together.

Shion sucked in a breath of surprise.

Nezumi's mouth on his made him feel like his entire body lit on fire from his blush. The way Nezumi's rough fingers brushed his cheek, and his soft lips massaged Shion's as they moved against them. It made Shion feel like he was melting into water. He leaned into Nezumi.

When Nezumi pulled away, for a moment Shion followed, and Nezumi chuckled low in his throat as he held him back.

"So innocent."

Shion blinked his eyes open to see Nezumi grinning. He went crimson again.

"What was…" Shion started to ask.

Nezumi showed his teeth when he smiled. "Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged." he said, reaching out to brush Shion's lips with his thumb as if wiping them clean. Shion's skin impossibly darkened again.

"I thought you were going to be Juliet." he said, looking into Nezumi's eyes.

Nezumi chuckled, "Not in this situation."

"So what's my line then?" Shion asked, and Nezumi raised his eyebrows.

"That depends. You said you didn't understand why they kissed twice. What do you think should happen next?"

Shion let out a breath.

His thoughts turned for a moment inside his head, looking into Nezumi's eyes. Then, his gaze dropped to his lips. Shion swallowed.

He reached for Nezumi.

This time when their lips met Shion felt it like a shock down his spine. One hand curled around Nezumi's neck and the other found it's way to the black silk of his hair.

Nezumi seemed to tense at first, but slowly he relaxed. His hand returned to Shion's cheek. His thumb stroking along the shape of his scar, following it along Shion's cheekbone down around the back of his neck. Shion shivered.

Then Nezumi's tongue swept across Shion's bottom lip.

Shion gasped, jumping in surprise and Nezumi's tongue delved into his mouth

Shion squeaked, and almost pulled back. He felt Nezumi lean into him, his tongue tasting the roof of his mouth making Shion shudder.

Shion made a soft noise, and it surprised him, making him blush.

Then Nezumi was pulling away.

The were both breathing hard as they parted. Nezumi completely disentangling from Shion and reaching up to run his thumb over his own bottom lip.

For a moment, when Shion looked at him, he looked surprised, or sort of confused. Then his eyes rose to Shion's and a confident smirk appeared.

"Hmm. Well it seems like the airhead understands now."

Shion blinked, "Nezumi… I…

"Sorry," Nezumi leaned back on his hands, "my teaching methods were a little hands on. But someone needed to make you understand kissing, and it's not like it means anything to me."

Shion balked. "What?"

Nezumi looked at him. His eyes looked dark, and hard again. Shion couldn't see anything in them except the color of metal.

"Well I'm an actor," Nezumi said, rolling his eyes. "I have to kiss boys all the time for shows. You get pretty comfortable with meaningless touching."

Shion swallowed.

"Was that your first kiss?" Nezumi asked. His voice still had an edge to it. "I'm sorry it wasn't with a girl. Maybe I should have let that girl you danced with the other night get to you first—,"

"Get out."

Nezumi looked at him with wide eyes. "What?"

Shion raised his eyes, shaded and blazing. "This is your idea of teaching me? I don't want 'meaningless touching'. It's why I've struggled with Rikiga in the first place. I don't want to lie, or be meaningless. I want to be a real king, a real person. I thought you were real, at least towards me. If that's not true then stay the hell away from me!"

Nezumi flinched back. His eyes dropped their shell and showed something beneath. Something moving and alive.

Nezumi looked down, "What did you think this was Shion? I thought I told you—,"

"I don't know," Shion snapped, "I don't know what I thought this was. I just remember everyday since I was twelve walking up and thinking about you. I never thought I'd see you again and when I did…" Shion shook his head. "I'm drawn to you. I want to know more about you. But you shove me away." Shion looked down. "I just… I want to know you Nezumi."

Nezumi lowered his head so Shion couldn't see his eyes.

"We can't know each other, Shion. Because knowing people changes things. You and I… we don't belong to the same world."

Shion eyes widened, "Why?"

Nezumi balled his hands into fist. "You don't remember the things that I told you before. Or if you do, you don't understand." he stood up and started walking to the door.

"I think you were right," Nezumi said. "I should stay away from you."

Then he opened the door and walked out, closing it behind him. Shion sat on the bed, staring after him.

He didn't know why, but something in his chest was aching.

Shion leaned forward until he was lying across his bed. He closed his eyes and curled in on himself, wishing he could fall asleep.

 


	5. Promises and Priorities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shion learns what it means to be a prince.

In the days that followed the auditions, Shion barely left his room. He attended meetings with Ichigan but avoided rehearsals. Always making up excuses for other work.

Deciding parts was the hardest meeting. He gave Viola to Nezumi. It was obvious he was the most qualified. The best fit for the role. Still, Shion could barely sit through five minutes of talking about it without wanting to curl up in a ball or change his mind. He wasn't sure which one. Luckily it was over quickly.

Sweet relief came a week later in the form of Rikiga calling Shion to the throne room, offering up the perfect distraction.

"I have an assignment for you, Shion." Rikiga said. "Starting tomorrow, your mother and I leave for the annual hunt, and I'm leaving you in charge as my Regent."

Shion's eyes widened, "Really?"

Rikiga frowned, "You can handle it…"

Shion nodded.

"Good." Rikiga sighed. "There is a messenger coming tomorrow night from the country with important news. I need you to be sure to get the message he's carrying. It is rather important."

Shion nodded, "All right, I'll be sure to intercept him."

Rikiga smiled, "Good."

Later that night, after Shion had wished his mother luck on her travels, Shion was heading back to his room.

He turned the corner and stumbled to a halt.

Leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest was Nezumi.

Shion considered turning around.

Nezumi looked up, his cold steel eyes meeting Shion's and narrowing into slits.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he said without preamble.

Shion let out a full breath all at once. "What are you talking about?"

Nezumi straightened, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking at Shion straight on. "You've ducked rehearsals for a week now. You've been skipping dinner most nights. You're acting like you got dumped for the first time."

Shion's cheeks flamed. He balled his hands into fist and made a determined stomp towards his bedroom door.

"Well it's not as if it's any of your business," He grumbled, reaching for his door— planning to storm inside and slam it behind him.

Nezumi slid neatly between Shion and the door. His eyes baring down on Shion from inches in front of his own.

"What do you want from me, Shion?" Nezumi demanded.

Shion's eyes widened without his permission, and for a moment the two of them were standing inches from each other. Until Shion jerked and stumbled back, looking at the ground.

"What do you mean?" Shion asked. He felt like his energy was bleeding out of him as he stared at the floor. His body felt heavy and weak to him in the space of an instant.

"Don't be half hearted," Nezumi chided, "look me in the eyes when you talk."

Shion flinched.

Nezumi made a frustrated noise and reached out to grip Shion by the jaw and yank his face up until they were looking at each other.

Nezumi narrowed his eyes. "You're acting like a child."

Shion eyes snapped open and he shoved Nezumi off him, almost falling over backwards from the force. "Shut up! I don't want to hear that from you!"

"What do you want to hear, Shion?" Nezumi shouted,"I'm never going to be one of your little subjects who babies you for your favor!"

Shion shook his head, "I don't want you to!"

"Then what?!" Nezumi's voice had gotten loud and rough. Shion could see the strain in his face as he fought to restrain something before he continued. "What is it you want, Shion?"

Shion stared at the dark haired boy in front of him, and as he did he could hear his own heart. It sounded so loud to him. He could feel it in his hands, making them shake.

He felt something inside himself stirring, violent and unsteady. He felt an impulse trying to force it's way into his veins and every muscle of his body only to fumble and end up ramming him in the stomach.

What did he want from Nezumi? His mind flashed to a dozen moments. Nezumi's laugh as he pulled drunk Shion over his shoulders. The feel of Nezumi's fingers against the sensitive scar on his cheek. Rolling over towards Nezumi's warmth in the middle of the night, and not even needing to open his eyes to know he was there. He heard Nezumi's voice in his ear as the light of birthday candles flickered in his eyes. The lilt of Nezumi's singing rippling through him like the wind. Soft musical words followed by the hot pressure of Nezumi's lips.

Shion jolted and shook his head.

Shion raised his eyes and caught a wide eyed look on Nezumi's face the moment before his expression seemed to slam shut before his eyes.

"Nezumi," Shion began before he could stop himself, "All I've ever wanted is to know you."

Nezumi jerked like Shion had slapped him, turning his face down so his hair hid his eyes.

"You're such an airhead. You don't even know what you're saying."

Shion felt a stoke of pain run through his chest like a shallow knife.

"I do know!" he started to protest.

Nezumi's hand snapped forward and grabbed him by the collar. Dragging him forward and off his feet until Shion was dangling from his grip and the two of them were almost touching noses.

"YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING!"

Nezumi dropped Shion all at once so he fell to his knees on the ground, wincing at the impact.

Nezumi stepped over him and stormed down the hallway and into his own room, slamming the door behind him.

Shion sat there, hands and knees against the cold floor. He waited there in silence for a long time. Until he finally dragged an arm across his eyes before shutting himself into his room.

* * *

 

Shion woke up early to see his mother and Rikiga off. He stood in front of the castle waving as they drove into the distance, forcing a smile for his mother as she shouted goodbye.

Shion got pulled into meetings with some of the royal court, after that. He listened so that he could report back to Rikiga, but Shion's mind was elsewhere.

Finally— after dinner was over— Shion found his way to the throne room, waiting for his father's message to arrive.

He had a book propped open on his lap. Hamlet. When Shion first chose it he worried it was masochistic, but instead it wound up rather soothing. Reading it transported him back. To a time when his was younger and all he had of Nezumi was memories and childish daydreams of running into him again someday.

Shion found it almost bitter now, thinking about how, back then, he had just wanted to see him. Nothing else.

How greedy he turned out to be.

Shion had started absent-mindedly thinking over the motives of the characters. The way Nezumi had taught him. When he heard a racket coming from the hallway.

Shion looked up just in time to see a castle guard come storming into the room with panicked eyes and a pale face. He dropped to one knee at the foot of the throne, bowing his head quickly before he spoke.

"My Lord Regent, there has been a terrible incident,"

"What's happened?" Shion demanded, straightening up and furrowing his brow.

The knight looked up with mournful expression.

"The knights who were guarding the castle walls spotted something from their posts earlier. Upon further inspection we discovered it to be the body of a messenger bound for the castle. He is currently unconscious. He got attacked and robbed."

"What?" Shion rose to his feet, "Did anyone see who did this?"

"No, Lord Regent, I'm afraid we arrived after the fact."

"And his message?"

"Stolen my lord."

Shion felt his stomach drop. "Do you know where the message was coming from?"

"There is evidence that the message was from a prison in the county side, my lord."

Shion's eyes widened, "A prison?"

He sank down in the throne holding his head.

"Is the messenger's health stable?" Shion asked after a moment of breathing. The knight seemed surprised by the question.

"Yes, my lord."

"Inform me when he wakes then."

"Yes, my lord."

The knight left.

"A prison?" Shion whispered, reaching down to clutch his stomach. "I have a bad feeling about this."

* * *

 

Shion had almost no choice in attending rehearsal the next day. He'd dodged too many all ready and Ichigan had asked him to help with blocking and set assignments. Shion could not be less focused.

The night before the messenger had never woken. Shion had waited up past dawn for the chance to speak with him.

As it turned out, he had come from the prison. He said he didn't know what the message had said, but that he had thought it had to do with the transfer of prisoners.

When Shion asked him about his attacker all he could say was that they were wearing a gray cloak. They hid their face, and they were fast as a snake. He barely caught a glimpse of them before getting struck on the head and everything went black.

Since then Shion had nothing to do but worry. He sent knights out to patrol for witnesses, but it happened on an empty road and he didn't have high hopes they'd find anything. All he could think was that Rikiga would surely banish him now.

The only decent idea he had was to send knights to the prison and report to them of the lost message. Hopefully they could do something useful with the information, but there was no telling for sure what would become of it. The thief could sell the information, or may be planning a prison break.

The not knowing was driving Shion insane.

"Are you all right?"

Shion looked up to find Ichigan standing over him. He blinked in confusion for a moment, glancing at the stage. He noticed they had reached the second act.

Shion looked back, "Of course, thank you. Do you think the rehearsal is going well?"

Ichigan frowned "Well, not particularly, since our lead is missing."

Shion's eyes widened in shock and he glanced around the room. Nezumi was nowhere in sight.

"Where is he?" Shion asked in surprise, and Ichigan gave him an indigent look.

"Locked himself in his room. Something about being in quarantine. I think he's just playing diva over having the stomach flu or something. Actors are all drama queens…"

Shion had stopped listening. An unnamed panic had bloomed in his chest. Was Nezumi just being dramatic or was something wrong? Shion only allowed himself to fret for a moment before shoving the thought away.

He didn't have room to worry about anything else. If Nezumi wanted his help he could have asked. Shion needed to focus. Nezumi probably wanted nothing to do with him anyway.

Shion skipped dinner again. He spent the time with the knights who had gone looking for witnesses. He ended up disappointed when he heard they hadn't found anything.

"It was completely clean," one of them reported. "Who ever did this, they knew what they were doing."

Shion felt sick, sick and worn. He was certain now the attacker wanted more than money. They were dangerous, and this wouldn't be the end of what they were willing to do. The idea made Shion dizzy.

That night when it was time for bed all he could think was that he only had one hope left. The knights he sent to the prison. If they got there soon enough, maybe it would prevent further disaster. He tried to let that comfort him as he struggled to fall asleep. He was just about to give up, and read instead, when there was a knock at his door.

Shion rose and pulled on a dressing robe, pulling open the door while still shrugging it on.

On the other side was a knight.

He bowed, "My lord."

"What is it?" Shion asked, made nervous by his grave expression. "Has something else happened?"

The knight frowned, "I'm afraid so,"

Shion's stomach lurched. "Tell me."

"The three knights you sent," The man began, looking pale and maybe a little green. "We just received word. Their bodies surfaced in a river a few hours ago."

For a moment, the entire world swayed.

Shion caught the edge of the door just in time to stop himself from falling over.

No

"My lord?" The knight looked stricken, "Are you all right?"

Shion closed his eyes, trying to force back nausea.

"Were they…?"

"Attacked on their way to the prison, My lord," The knight said mournfully. "They never made it there. Someone was clearly trying to stop them from warning the prison."

Shion's head was starting to ache. "I understand. Thank you for telling me. If you could, please send a message to their families explaining what happened. Be sure to tell them—," Shion choked.

Tell them what?

"I understand, My Lord," the knight looked sympathetic. "I'll take care of it." with that he bowed again and returned back down the hall.

As soon as his footsteps disappeared into the distance, Shion collapsed on the floor, holding this head in his hands.

He didn't know how long he sat there, only that it wasn't enough time for the world to steady around him.

Then, he heard a loud thud.

Shion looked up in confusion. For a moment, he thought someone would be standing in the hallway when he looked up. Then he realized the sound had come from Nezumi's room.

All thoughts flew out of his head but one.

Nezumi.

Shion scrambled to his feet and ran for the door to Nezumi's room. He tried the handle but it wouldn't open.

"Nezumi!" Shion shouted, "Nezumi, are you all right?"

There wasn't any answer.

Shion panicked. He was about to try to break down the door when he remembered he had a key to this room. He ran to his room and dug it out of his dresser before hurrying back and fiddling open the door.

When he swung it open, a few things made themselves known all at once.

First, the room was dark. Not a single light beside the moon.

Second, The window was open, and cool night air was flooding in, blowing the drapes wide, like dancing ghosts.

Third, Nezumi was there, collapsed and lying on the ground like he'd fallen there, directly below the open window.

Last, Nezumi was wearing a gray cloak. Covered in blood.

Shion stared– for a moment suspended. Nothing touched him. Not thought, or feeling, or time. He existed between moments, staring at everything before him without any of it catching up to him.

Then, it hit him all at once.

"Nezumi…" Shion whispered.

The boy on the ground stirred, rolling to look up at him.

His eyes were hazy. All the light had gone out of them.

"You…" Nezumi spoke in a strained, choking voice, "You weren't supposed to see this."

Shion's eyes widened.

No

"Nezumi," Shion whispered, "It…. was you?"

Nezumi slumped against the ground. He was clutching at his arm. There was a bandage wrapped around it, soaked in red.

"I'm sorry, Shion." Nezumi whispered, and then his eyes slipped closed, and he lay still against the ground.

Once again, Shion's thoughts seemed to leave his mind.

All except one.

"You're—- hurt—-," Shion choked in surprise. "Do you—- need help?"

The dark haired boy's eye widened in surprise, like those words were the absolute last thing he'd expected.

"Nezumi," Shion whispered, closing his eyes. "You've hurt yourself again,"

Shion stepped forward shakily, and hoisted Nezumi, gentle as possible, onto his shoulders. Carrying him into his room.

* * *

 

Nezumi woke up to the weak, struggling light of an almost dawn coming through the window. Every part of him hurt, but somehow he was so comfortable. He sighed.

He turned his head, and he caught sight of white hair on the pillow beside him.

Yes, he thought, I remember this. I've been here before. I dreamed of this everyday when I was still a child. This was the moment… things changed.

For a while Nezumi just closed his eyes. He let himself drift in this moment, of lying injured in a bed next to Shion, and knowing any moment he would have to leave him.

A bitter sweet memory. Just like always.

It took Nezumi a long minute before he started to put together that something was wrong.

He opened his eyes.

His pain was wrong. The sharp septic ache wasn't coming from his back– like it should have been. It came from his arm– and the bed surrounding him seemed too crowded— like himself and the boy next to him took up too much room.

He wasn't a kid anymore.

Nezumi sat up.

"AH!" he shouted without meaning to, his arm stabbing as he tried to move, causing him to fall back against the bed with a breath through his teeth.

There was a grumble from the boy beside him, and Shion shifted.

Nezumi felt the need to hold his breath.

"Hmm?" Shion muttered, "Nezumi? What are you doing? Don't open your wound again, or you're going to bleed out this time."

Nezumi stared at him.

"Shion?"

The white haired boy rubbed his eyes. They had dark circles under them, and he looked pale and thin— even more than usual.

Nezumi noticed it all sharply. He felt like it'd been so long since he'd seen him.

Shion stretched his arms. "Still so early." he whined.

"Shion," Nezumi repeated, louder this time, and the white haired boy finally turned to look at him, his red eyes wide and curious.

"What is it?" he asked, "Is your wound open again?"

Nezumi blinked.

"What?" Shion seemed to be finding his awareness and suddenly looked worried. "Is everything all right?"

Nezumi coughed like someone hit him in the chest.

"Is this a dream?" The dark haired boy demanded, looking down at himself. He was wearing parts of his clothing from the night before. Minus his shirt sleeve, and everything besides his shirt and pants. "What happened last night?"

Shion looked at Nezumi for a long moment.

Finally he turned his head.

"I think you ought to answer that." Shion replied, seeming unable to look at Nezumi while he said it.

Nezumi had a flash of memory then.

Climbing in his window around the excruciating pain of his arm. Falling on the floor with a thud. Shion's voice calling out to him from somewhere, but being so dizzy with blood-loss he could hardly tell if it was real. Then, looking up and seeing Shion in his open doorway, staring at him with this look like he couldn't breath. Then everything faded to black.

"Oh," Nezumi looked down with a jerk of his head, his hair falling over his eyes. "So you know then."

"You were the one who attacked the messenger," Shion said in a voice that didn't hold any air. "You killed the knights I sent to the prison. That's how you got hurt, isn't it? Not all that blood on your cloak could have been yours."

Nezumi closed his eyes.

"You're right," he said, when he could find the words. "I did all those things."

Shion flinched, and Nezumi felt it like a jab. For a long time neither of them spoke.

Finally Shion asked.

"Why?"

Nezumi sighed.

"Shion," he whispered, "Do you remember what I told you when we were kids? About where I came from?"

Shion's head snapped up, like that was the last thing he was expecting to hear.

"You mean… about the wild tribes?"

Nezumi nodded his head.

"Do you know what happened to most of the citizens who didn't get away during the war?"

Shion was silent.

"A prison transfer," he said a while later, in an almost reverent voice. "War prisoners…"

"Shion," Nezumi said, "There's something I should have said to you from the start. I'm not here to try to live like a citizen in this kingdom. I'm here to avenge the things that it's done. That is my top priority."

Shion gripped his head in his hands. The boy began to tremble.

For a moment Nezumi thought Shion was angry with him, but then… he started to cry.

"You must hate me!" Shion screamed, shaking his head back and forth in his hands. "You have to… why didn't I see it?"

Nezumi jolted, "What? Shion, no—,"

Shion let out a sob.

"Shion!" Nezumi raised his voice, "Get a hold of yourself, Shion! I don't hate you!"

"Then why?" Shion turned bright red eyes on Nezumi, causing the dark haired boy to shift back against the pillows in surprise. "Why didn't you just come to me for help? The message was coming to me! Why did you hurt all those people unless you wanted nothing to do with me?"

"Because I didn't want you involved in this!" Nezumi snapped, "This is my revenge! This has been my choice ever since you were just a boy I'd probably never see again. I never meant to involve you."

Shion stared, his eyes still watery. "But I could help you!"

"You shouldn't!" Nezumi's voice was cutting. "Shion this is treason—,"

"It doesn't have to be!" Shion pleaded, "We could do this the right way, I'm the prince—,"

Nezumi scoffed, "There is no right way, Shion. This is a war. Payment for sins in blood. It will never be pretty."

Shion shook his head, "There could be another way—,"

"Enough!" Nezumi interrupted him, turning his head away.

Shion stopped, his mouth poised open for a moment before it closed.

More silence, until Nezumi finally asked, "So how long do I have?"

Shion raised his head, "What?"

"Before you turn me over." Nezumi said. "I'm a criminal, aren't I?"

Shion's eyes widened.

Nezumi balled his hands into fist, "It's funny. The second I realized we were staying here, I knew it had turned the two of us into enemies. The only thing that stopped it this long was ignorance."

"You didn't have to choose yet," Nezumi sighed, "you didn't know you ever would. That saved us. Until now."

Shion looked down until his hair fell over his face.

"But it is a choice, isn't it?"

Nezumi looked at him. "What?"

Shion raised his head, "I can choose you."

Nezumi's lips parted, his eyes were wide, but no words left his mouth for a moment. Then finally his eyes narrowed.

"There is nothing for you in a choice like that Shion." Nezumi warned, looking like he was considering smacking Shion on the head. "You can't stand and watch this place burn with me. You've never had that in you."

Shion felt a jolt go through him from his toes to his hair at the image that appeared in his head.

Him and Nezumi standing alone on a hill, staring down and the castle and the countryside burning below them. So bright it turned the night sky black– no stars visible at all.

Shion shook his head to clear it.

"There could be another way—,"

"There is no other way!" Nezumi snapped.

Shion raised his eyes to Nezumi's face and saw he was gritting his teeth.

"You don't get to choose what's at the end of the path, Shion. You just choose to walk one way or the other. I am your enemy or this place is. That's it."

Shion stared at Nezumi's face. His jaw was a tight line under his skin, and his blade colored eyes gleamed with a feverish light.

There was something wild about it, like watching a force of nature. Shion swallowed.

"Well," said Shion, "We're just going to have to see then."

Nezumi blinked, "What?"

"I'm not going to turn you in," Shion said, and smiled. "No one is going to know what I know about the messenger."

Nezumi glared, "Oh, yeah? How's that? I'm not going to stop trying. Are you just going to take the heat for whatever happens?"

Shion shrugged, "I'll handle it. Whatever happens. That is my choice."

Nezumi scoffed, "You're insane."

Shion raised steady eyes. "I'm resolved."

Nezumi jerk his head around to look at him.

Shion smiled. "Maybe their are more paths to choose from then you think, Nezumi." he said.

Nezumi's eyes thinned and he looked down. "You're such a naive brat."

Shion laughed and earned himself a glare.

"Maybe you're right," he agreed, "but this is what I can live with."

Nezumi snorted at that. "I hope you don't think I'm indebted to you now."

Shion smiled, "Of course not. Protecting you was my choice."

"Protecting me?" Nezumi protested, looking horrified. "You are not protecting me."

Shion blinked. "Then what would you call it?"

Nezumi glared.

"We'll make a deal." Nezumi said. "In exchange for not turning me in you can ask one favor. Bargaining is a method I may have had to resort to at some point anyway."

Shion tilted his head. "You want to do me a favor?"

"It's payment," Nezumi scowled.

Shion tried not to smile, he thought it might make Nezumi more angry. "All right. Then you can continue my acting lessons."

Nezumi sort of choked. "What?"

"Every night I don't turn you in, you teach me to act," Shion said. He was unable to stop beaming. "That way you'll be helping me with my plans too. That's fair, isn't it?"

"Every night?" Nezumi repeated, and then sighed. "How much time do you think I have?"

Shion laughed, "I can be a little flexible if I need to be, do we have a deal?"

Nezumi let out a heavy breath, running his hand over his face. "Good god, you really are an air head."

Shion rolled his eyes and held out his hand toward Nezumi's good arm. "Is it a deal or not?"

Nezumi looked at him.

For a moment the pressure in the room seem to change with the way Nezumi looked at him. Red eyes to silver.

Nezumi took Shion's hand.

"Fine. You have yourself a deal."


	6. Words and Actions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shion and Nezumi explore their new deal.

The rest of the day turn our to be both worse and better than Shion had expected. Pretending he didn't know anything turned out to be easy. He was plenty stressed and confused enough to convince anyone that things had not improved since the night before. What turned out be difficult was covering for Nezumi during costume fitting day.

"Eve! We need to get your measurements for the palace seamstresses. Can you go with them into the changing room?"

Nezumi's expression was smooth as glass as he looked down from the stage. Shion felt like he had broken out in a sweat.

Wouldn't a fresh wound look a little suspicious on an actor who said they had spent the last twenty-four hours in bed?

Shion stood up

"Are we taking everyone's measurements one at a time?" Shion asked, "Isn't that going to take a long time?"

Ichigan glanced towards Shion.

"Actually a handful of maids are working on it."

"Do they need some help?" Shion asked, "I could take measurements."

Ichigan looked surprised, "Well… the more the merrier, your highness— If you think you are up to it. Do you know what you're doing?"

Shion nodded, "I do."

"All right. Then Eve, go with his highness. Next is…."

Nezumi wandered up to Shion with an amused look on his face. "Are you trying to make yourself look like a pervert?"

Shion's cheek burned, "I'm trying to help you!"

Nezumi grinned, "Well, that's sweet, but I could've made sure that servant didn't talk."

Shion was instantly alarmed.

"Stay away from the maids Nezumi!"

Nezumi had to smother a chuckle.

The two of them went together to the changing area— behind what appeared to be a strung up rug. Shion took a ribbon-like measure and turned to Nezumi.

"Do you know what you're doing, little prince?" Nezumi asked. "Because this is kind of important."

Shion raised his eyebrows. "Of course I know how to take measurement."

Nezumi stared, "Why?"

Shion shrugged. "I learned from my mom. She used to make all my clothes— along with her own and the other kids in my neighborhood."

Nezumi eyes widened for a moment. "I see."

"You're going to have to take off your shirt," Shion confessed after a moment. "The material will change the measurement."

Nezumi nodded and reached for the hem of his shirt, rolling it over his torso and wincing.

"God dammit." He complained. "Stupid arm."

"Don't complain," said Shion mildly, "It could have been a lot worse."

Shion found himself reaching out. Gently taking the bandaged arm in his hand to feel if it was hot from infection, or if it was bleeding again. It didn't appear to be.

"You're going to need to be careful with it," Shion advised, without looking up. "There's only so much I can do."

Nezumi snorted.

Shion looked into Nezumi's face. "What?"

"You're an air head." Nezumi chuckled. "You can only focus on one thing at a time, can't you?"

Shion blinked. "What do you mean?"

Nezumi raised his eyebrows, "Are you supposed to be playing healer right now, Shion?"

Shion blushed and immediately let go of Nezumi.

"Sorry," He murmured trying to hide his blush, "Raise your arms."

Nezumi did.

That was the first time Shion really looked at him. Standing with his shirt off in the dimness. His smooth skin stretched over the lean muscle on his arms and chest, glowing milky like cream.

Shion's blush darkened.

He reached out with gentle fingers, and ran the ribbon beneath Nezumi's arm from his armpit to his wrist. Counting ink marks along the way as he slid his fingers cross them. Then he turned and wrote the number down. He repeated the process with the other arm.

"Your face looks red," The dark haired boy commented.

"Shut up, I'm counting." Shion replied. Nezumi grinned.

Next Shion measured around the widest part of his arm, them around his elbow and then his wrist. After that he measured around his neck— which Nezumi complained was itchy. Shion continued to mark down the numbers.

Measuring the different angles of Nezumi's chest and waist ended up being more difficult. Every time his fingers brushed the skin accidentally Shion would lose count and have to start over. He tried to cover this by acting like the ribbon had slipped in his fingers. Nezumi offered no comment.

It wasn't until after Shion had finished measuring Nezumi's hips that he realized his torment wasn't over.

For a moment Shion kneeled on the floor in silence, wondering what in heaven's name was wrong with him.

"Hey, Shion?"

"Yes?"

"Are you waiting for something?"

"Not particularly."

Shion sighed and looked up at Nezumi, who was looking down at him with his eyebrows raised.

Shion struggled with himself for a moment before he could say the words out loud.

"I need you to take off your pants."

Nezumi cracked up laughing.

"That's what you've been struggling with?" He demanded around his fit. "Good grief, Shion, you are too innocent for you're own good."

Red spread all the way down Shion's neck. "Shut up!" he stood and turned around, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably as Nezumi laughed.

"How naked do you want me, Shion?"

Shion felt like his skin might burn off.

"Just your pants is fine!"

Nezumi chuckled and there was the sound of rustling fabric.

"Come on, Shion. We don't have all day."

Shion took a deep breath and turned around.

Nezumi was standing in just his under garments, looking at Shion with an amused expression. Shion was trying to take deep breaths through his nose.

Shion kneeled down on the floor and tried to keep his hand steady as he ran the ribbon from Nezumi's hip to his ankle. He counted slowly and marked the number down.

For a moment Shion was fine, measuring the height and the widths of Nezumi's leg. It wasn't until he had to do the inseam that his cheeks started burning again.

"You're—," Shion swallowed, "You're going to have to… spread your legs a little wider, I'm almost done."

Nezumi snorted. "Are you taking advantage of me?"

Shion could not raise his eyes from the floor, "Just do it!"

Nezumi shifted so he was standing a little wider.

Shion took a deep breath. He raised his fingers to press the ribbon against juncture at the top of Nezumi's leg, smoothing it until hit reached his ankle.

This time Shion tried to count as quickly as possible without screwing up.

"All right, you're done." Shion murmured after he finished recording the number. "You can get dressed now."

Nezumi chuckled as he pulled his clothes on, "You're such a snow flake, Shion. So perfectly uncorrupted."

Shion frowned. "You're horrible. You just like tormenting me."

Shion felt a hand on his shoulder turning him around. He looked back just in time for Nezumi to grab him by the chin.

Shion sucked in a breath as Nezumi leaned toward him, his hand tipping Shion's face up until he was looking into silver-gray eyes.

They danced with mischief.

"Do I?" He asked, his breath brushing over Shion's lips. Shion's eyes widened.

They were so close. Shion could feel Nezumi everywhere around him. Yet they weren't touching, aside from Nezumi's fingers beneath his chin.

Nezumi gave a low, throaty chuckle.

"Maybe you're right."

The he let go of Shion all together and walked out from behind the rug without so much as a glance back.

Shion stood there. Dumb-founded for a moment before a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding fell through his lips.

What just happened?

* * *

 

By the end of the night, Shion felt every sleepless hour he'd wracked up over the last few days.

He'd spent dinner in meetings again. This time for the honors of the knights and their families, and by the time they were over, dinner was already broken up and cleared away.

As Shion walked back to his bedroom he wondered if perhaps he'd be able to sleep that night, that is until he walked inside.

"How many nights have you skipped dinner?" Nezumi asked from his lounged position on Shion's bed, book open in his lap. "You're too skinny as it is, you know. You should try to eat more."

Shion blinked in confusion. "What are you doing here?"

Nezumi glanced up at him with a dubious expression. "I thought our lessons were back on." He replied, shifting to sit up. "Do I have it wrong?"

Shion's eyebrows shot up.

"Oh!" He rubbed his eyes, "That's right. I'm sorry. I've had meetings…"

"Life's hard when you're being the king, is it?" Nezumi glanced at him with measured eyes. "Do you want me to leave?"

Shion shook his head. "No. It's our deal. I want to." Shion stepped further inside and shut the door, loosening the collar of his shirt. "So what am I learning today?"

Nezumi held a book up for Shion to see. "I thought we'd finish what we started."

The book was Romeo and Juliet.

"Oh," Shion fought off a blush. "All right. Well where were we?"

Nezumi slid to the edge of the bed. "Well, I thought we'd start working with body language. I told you to try to understand what someone is feeling when you read their lines. Now I want you to try your best to show me what you think they are feeling, and then we'll see where you need the most help."

Shion tilted his head. "I don't understand."

Nezumi sighed, "We're going to act out the scenes. Loosely, I mean. Just work on your expressions and how you're standing. Try to put some inflection in the lines you're saying."

Shion let out a breath through his nose. "All right…"

"Try to have some confidence," Nezumi suggested. "It will help. And watch me, one of an actor's greatest assets is playing off the performance of another actor."

Shion nodded, "Okay."

He and Nezumi stood across from each other at the foot of Shion's bed as Shion took the book. He opened it and began scanning the pages.

"What scene?"

"Doesn't matter. Preferably one with only two people talking."

Shion nodded and started searching.

"There is only two people speaking here, but I don't understand this scene."

"What is it?" Nezumi took the book and scanned over it. He snorted.

"Oh, of course. It's the bed scene. Perhaps not the easiest one to practice, although we do have the props."

Shion blushed, "What?"

Nezumi chuckled, "This is the morning after Romeo "said goodbye" to Juliet. They are still lying in bed while they are talking."

Shion flushed, catching the hint from Nezumi's tone about what he must be talking about. "Oh. Well there's got to be another scene. I'll keep looking."

Nezumi grinned wickedly, "No. It's all right. You might be able to relate to this one."

Shion looked up just as Nezumi's expression changed into something different. Something searching. "Would you have begged me like this? If you had woken up before I left, when we were kids?"

Shion's eyes widened. Suddenly the scene seemed different to him. He pictured waking to Nezumi lying next to him, knowing that he going to leave… If Shion could have asked him to stay…

Shion looked down.

Nezumi startled. "Shion?"

"All right." Shion said after a moment. "But maybe you should be Romeo this time."

Nezumi hesitated, "You want to try it?"

Shion nodded.

"Then…" Nezumi seemed unsure of himself. "Sit down on the bed, I suppose."

Shion moved, sitting on the bed and sliding until he was resting against the pillows. He looked at Nezumi.

Nezumi was looking at him strangely— only for a moment before kicking off his boots and moving to sit next to him. He offered Shion the book.

"You want to read for Juliet this time?"

Shion nodded.

"Then you start."

Shion read the line over before clearing his throat.

"Wilt thou be gone? It is not yet near day. It was the nightingale, and not the lark that pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear. Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate tree. Believe me, love, it was the nightingale."

Shion wrinkled his nose, "Hold on, what's she talking about?"

Nezumi chuckled, "I could tell you didn't get that one. She's trying to convince Romeo it isn't morning yet so that he doesn't have to leave."

"Oh," Shion read it over again with that in mind. "I see."

"Do you want to try that again?"

Shion flushed.

He turned to look at Nezumi in the eyes. Holding in his mind the idea that he was about to leave, to climb out the window like when they were kids and he may never see him again. He took a breath.

"Wilt thou be gone?" He asked feeling the rise of desperation in the pit of his stomach, "It is not yet near day. It was the nightingale, and not the lark that pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear. Nightly she sings on yon pomegranate tree. Believe me, love, it was the nightingale."

Nezumi's eyes widened, but he responded.

"It was the lark, the herald of the morn, no nightingale. Look, love, what envious streaks do lace the severing clouds in yonder east. Night's candles are burnt out, and jocund day stands tiptoe on the misty mountain tops. I must be gone and live, or stay and die."

Shion felt a jolt in his stomach. Die?

"Yon light is not daylight, I know it, I." Shion's voice was full of real pleading now. Without thinking he reached out and grabbed Nezumi by the wrist. Nezumi's eyes flashed to the gesture and widened in shock. "It is some meteor that the sun exhales to be to thee this night a torchbearer, and light thee on thy way to Mantua. Therefore stay yet. Thou need'st not to be gone."

Nezumi took a beat to respond. His eyes took on a look that Shion had begun to recognize. Nezumi used it a lot when he called Shion a child, right before he tried to teach Shion a lesson. But when he spoke he sounded tender. "Let me be ta'en. Let me be put to death. I am content, so thou wilt have it so. I'll say yon grey is not the morning's eye. 'Tis but the pale reflex of Cynthia's brow. Nor that is not the lark, whose notes do beat the vaulty heaven so high above our heads. I have more care to stay than will to go. Come, death, and welcome! Juliet wills it so.—How is 't, my soul? Let's talk. It is not day."

Shion's eyes widened. He heard in Nezumi's words, the emphasis he placed on them. Shion felt each word like Nezumi was really asking him, asking if he would rather Nezumi stay and die, than leave and live.

Shion felt tears trying to sting his eyes.

Shion choked, "I'm sorry," He turned away from Nezumi. "I… umm…"

"You were doing fine," Nezumi noted, "You do seem a little panicked, though. I suppose Juliet would be afraid but—,"

Shion was only half listening to Nezumi's critique. He stared at his bed, his mind feeling like it was try to work through mud.

If it came down staying close to Nezumi… or keeping Nezumi alive…

Shion hadn't been able to say the words he need to say; telling him to leave. Shion couldn't imagine saying that, saying those words to Nezumi and meaning them. He didn't understand it.

What was the difference between him and Juliet? That she could say to go and he couldn't. Was it that Juliet believed she would see Romeo again? That she'd hear from him? Was she confident in that, somehow, in a way that Shion wasn't?

"Shion?"

Shion blinked out of his trance and turned to look at Nezumi who was frowning at him.

"Where's your head?" Nezumi asked.

Shion stared.

"Nowhere, I'm sorry." he said, trying to shake himself out of it, "I haven't been sleeping enough lately."

Nezumi frowned, "Good grief, Shion. Skipping sleep, skipping meals. You'll be lucky if you live long enough to see your father return from his hunt."

Shion laughed a little breathlessly, "You're probably right."

"Maybe we should cut tonight's lesson short then," Nezumi suggested.

"We can finish the scene," Shion insisted. "It's not much longer anyway."

Nezumi eyes became shaded, "You sure?"

Shion nodded, "Of course," he read over his line again and took a breath to speak.

"It is, it is. Hie hence! Be gone, away! It is the lark that sings so out of tune, straining harsh discords and unpleasing sharps. Some say the lark makes sweet division. This doth not so, for she divideth us. Some say the lark and loathèd toad change eyes. Oh, now I would they had changed voices too, since arm from arm that voice doth us affray, hunting thee hence with hunt's-up to the day. O, now be gone. More light and light it grows."

Nezumi's eyes darkened, "More light and light, more dark and dark our woes!"

There was something strange about the way he said it. Low and too inflectionless. It made Shion's stomach flip but he ignored it. He looked back at the page.

"What about the nurse's lines?"

Nezumi's eyes were unyielding. "Skip them."

Shion read over the next line.

"Then the window lets day in, and life goes out the window!"

Nezumi's hand reached up and wrapped around the side of Shion's cheek. Shion's eyes widen as his face lifted to look into Nezumi's.

Nezumi's eyes were both shaded and gleaming all at once.

"Farewell, farewell!" he whispered, his voice low and touchingly soft against Shion's lips; parted in surprise. "Give me one kiss, and I'll go down."

Shion's stomach flipped, "Nezumi… wait…"

"What's the matter, Shion?" Nezumi asked, his thumb skimming over Shion's scar. "Scared to kiss me?"

Shion frowned, "I just… I don't want it to be like this."

Nezumi raised an eyebrow, "What?"

Shion's eyes were pleading. "I don't know how it is for you Nezumi, but to me… I want a kiss to still mean something. I haven't had enough of them to give up on that."

"Oh?" Nezumi tilted his head. He had not moved back an inch. "And what is it you want a kiss to mean?"

Shion eyebrows pulled together.

"I don't know," he whispered. "I guess I want the person kissing me to do it because they love me."

Nezumi smiled, "Isn't that asking an awful lot from one kiss? Love is quite a weighty term, little prince."

Shion thought about it. "Maybe," he murmured. "But then… I hope it would still be about me. That they'd do it because it could mean that… someday…. there will be love behind it."

Nezumi raised an eyebrow, "What do you mean, like a promise?"

Shion smiled, "Yes. A kiss should be like a promise between two people."

"A promise that they will love each other someday?" Nezumi asked.

Shion's eyes softened, "Just that they'll try."

"Hmm…" Nezumi hummed, looking into Shion's eyes and sliding his thumb along his scar, back and forth. "I think I can agree to that."

And then Nezumi was kissing him.

For a moment Shion didn't know what had happened. His mind seem to spin without an axis for a few beats of his heart before he reached out and steadied himself by gripping Nezumi's shirt. He closed his eyes.

Nezumi's hand slid around the back of Shion's neck. Finding it's way to Shion's hair, sliding the soft downy strands between his fingers.

Shion sighed into the kiss. Moving his lips timidly in response to Nezumi's and reaching up one hand to curve around the side of the darker boy's neck.

Nezumi smiled. The next thing Shion knew, he was barring him back against the bed. Nezumi curving over him, and his dark hair falling over Shion's face to tickle his cheeks.

They broke for air.

"Nezumi," Shion panted, his eyes fluttering open.

"You responded," Nezumi noted breathlessly, leaning back just to grin down at Shion. His hand moved down to trace where Shion's scar wrapped around his neck. Shion trembled. "Looks like you just promised to try and love me."

Shion's eyes widened.

Nezumi's smile was sharp, "Didn't think about that, huh?"

Shion shook his head. "Its not that."

Nezumi lowered his eyelids, "Then what?"

Shion looked into Nezumi's eyes, and at the wealth of emotion Nezumi found in his expression made him go pale.

"Don't say anything," he said and his lips captured Shion's again.

Nezumi had shifted. Now he was lying over Shion, only inches between them, all the way down their bodies.

One of Nezumi's legs found it's way between Shion's, and for some reason the thought made Shion's skin heat and he started to squirm.

"I feel hot," Shion panted when they parted for air again, feeling a little dizzy. Nezumi laughed.

"Already? You really are innocent aren't you?" Nezumi looked at him with hooded eyes.

Shion flushed, "What do you mean?"

Nezumi rolled his eyes, "Sometimes you're too air headed even to tease." he sighed mournfully. "Maybe I should just let you get some sleep."

Nezumi started to move.

Shion's hand shot out and grabbed his shoulder. "Wait!"

Nezumi stopped and looked at him.

Shion froze. He wasn't sure what it was… but he had this terrible thought that if Nezumi left now…. tomorrow it would be like none of this had ever happened, and it scared him.

He looked Nezumi in the eyes. "Can't you stay?"

Nezumi didn't look like he was getting enough air.

"Shion… you aren't ready for…" Nezumi choked on his words.

Shion blinked, "What do you mean? You've stayed with me before."

Nezumi looked down at him again in surprise. "You want me to stay… like then?"

Shion tilted his head, "Yes."

Nezumi's coloring started to change and he turned his head away.

"Such an air head." He grumbled.

Shion frowned, "Does that mean you won't stay?"

Nezumi reached up to rub the back of his neck. He sighed.

"Fine. I guess I can stay."

Shion smiled hugely.

Nezumi caught one look of it and flicked Shion on the forehead.

"Don't look at me like that, idiot," he said and moved off of Shion to his own side of the bed.

Shion kneaded his forehead. "Ow, what do you mean? Why not?"

"Just don't."

Nezumi stood up, "I'll be back in a minute. I don't want have to borrow your night clothes again. I wear dresses more often then is healthy as it is."

Shion rolled his eyes. "All right," he agreed, standing up and heading toward his closet to get ready for bed. Nezumi exited into the hall.

Shion dressed in his night clothes and then washed up. When he came back, he found Nezumi lounging silently on his bed, dressed in only a soft looking pair of trousers and without a shirt.

Shion fought hard not to blush as Nezumi looked up.

"You do look thin," Nezumi commented, his eyes roaming over Shion from head to toe. "If you don't start eating more you're going to be all skin and bones."

This time Shion did flush.

"Shut up," He grumbled walking over to the bed and pulling back the covers. Nezumi helped him, and then the two of them slid in beside each other.

Shion blew out the light, and as darkness settled over the two of them he felt an electricity that climbed up and down his spine.

His mind filled with the feeling of Nezumi's lips, of his hand in his hair. Shion's body seemed to ache with the desire to roll over and pull Nezumi to him, until the two of them were touching again. The thought made his heart jump speeds inside his chest.

"You're awfully tense." Nezumi said after a while. "Are you all right?"

Shion felt a blush run hot all the way down his neck.

"Nezumi…" Shion's voice was soft and nervous. "About what happened…"

"Is that what's bothering you?" Nezumi's voice had some humor in it. "What's worrying you about it?"

Shion's jaw tensed.

Finally he asked, "Is it going to keep happening?"

There was silence.

Finally Nezumi chuckled.

"I didn't see that question coming." He murmured, "Do you want it to?"

Shion wasn't sure if his temperature just jumped or if his entire body was blushing now.

"Yes."

There was more silence following this statement. And for a moment Shion worried Nezumi might be angry with him, until he felt the bed shift as Nezumi moved toward him.

Shion rolled onto his back so he could turn his head and look at Nezumi. He found him lying extremely close, his eyes gleaming in the darkness as he reached out to run the tips of his fingers along Shion's cheek.

Nezumi searched his eyes. "I'm not sure you realize what you're getting yourself into, Shion."

Shion's face softened. "I just want to be close to you."

Nezumi's eyelids lowered.

"Yes," he said. "That's exactly what I mean."

Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to Shion's.

It was different this time than before. This kiss was slow. It felt to Shion like he was touching a sheet of smooth glass, laid over a low flame; where the others had been like shoving his hand in the fire.

When they parted Nezumi looked at him, and his eyes were dark and full of something hungry.

"It might keep happening." Nezumi answered finally, and his lips curving up into a smile. "I guess you're just going to have to wait and see."

Shion looked back at him. Their eyes meeting in the dark. Almost without his own permission, Shion strained forward. His hands delving into Nezumi's black-slik hair and pulling him back.

Their mouths met again, and the glass shattered, fire raging up between them with a ferocity.

Shion made a soft noise and Nezumi seemed urged forward.

He slid, pulling Shion against him. Their bodies met from the bottom of their stomachs down to where their legs twisted together under the sheets.

Nezumi sighed, and his hand flattened against Shion's back while the other traced the side of his throat. He found his scar again and made Shion shiver.

"Sensitive?" Nezumi breathed when their lips parted for just a moment. "Interesting."

Nezumi raised a hand to run his thumb over Shion's bottom lip.

"Open your mouth."

Shion blinked but obeyed and Nezumi came back to him, his tongue slipping into Shion's mouth.

Shion moaned and Nezumi shook with laughter as he ran his tongue along Shion's making him jerk.

Nezumi pulled away, panting.

"So innocent." he said, a smile in his voice.

Shion looked into the bright silver of Nezumi's eyes, and Nezumi brushed his thumb over his scar again.

He guided Shion to roll over, his back to Nezumi, and wrapped his arm around Shion's waist so that his hand was resting over his stomach. He pulled Shion's back against Nezumi's bare chest.

"Goodnight, little prince." Nezumi breathed in his ear, and Shion trembled.

"Goodnight, Nezumi."


	7. Days and Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nezumi has lots for Shion to learn.

Nezumi was not the type of person to let someone catch him sleeping. That's what Shion realized as he woke up to Nezumi already sitting up in bed.

It was still dark in the room. Only the lightest gleam of dawn coming through the window. Yet, Nezumi was already awake. His long, thin fingers combing absent-mindedly through Shion's hair and a book propped open in his other hand.

Shion sighed quietly, and the fingers pushed deeper into his hair, mussing it like he was a little kid.

"Good morning, little prince."

Shion blinked open his big red eyes and looked up at Nezumi. The dark haired boy was looking down at him sideways with amused eyes—the same gray color as the morning sky.

"Nezumi," Shion mumbled sleepily, his eyes trailing over the boy beside him. His dark hair had stayed pulled back but was messy. Falling around his face. His skin looked smooth and pale as it sloped over his throat and down over his bare chest in the dimness. Shion blushed.

Nezumi's lip pulled up at the corner. "How is it you can look surprised to see me?"

Shion turned over onto his back, pulling Nezumi's hand from his hair and trailing it over his cheek. It stilled but Nezumi didn't remove it.

"I'm not surprised exactly," Shion said, his eyes studying Nezumi's face. "It's just different, seeing you like this when I first wake up."

Nezumi's eyes widened for a moment, then he laughed.

"Think before you talk, Shion."

Shion frowned. He had thought about it. He'd said exactly what he'd meant.

Shion sat up beside Nezumi. His eyes looking at the bed and his cheeks pink as he scooted over. Sitting so Nezumi's arm ran along his back, as if Nezumi were holding him. He pretended not to notice himself doing it, and waited for Nezumi to remove his arm. Instead the dark haired boy was silent for a few moments, and then lifted his hand so it curved around Shion's hip.

Shion smiled, "What are you reading?"

Nezumi glanced at him and turned the book to show Shion the cover while his thumb kept his place.

"Macbeth?"

"Have you read it?" Nezumi asked, and Shion shook his head.

"Not yet. It was in a collection of new books I haven't gotten to yet."

"Speaking of that," Nezumi motioned with his chin to the large chest-like box pushed up against the far wall. The one holding the books Safu had given him for his birthday.

"Why do you have that chest of non-fiction books separate from all the others? They look new."

"Oh," Shion smiled, "Well my friend Safu gave them to me for my birthday so I haven't read any of them yet."

Nezumi glanced at him, "Safu, huh? Is that the girl you danced with at your party?"

Shion blinked, "Oh, you mean when you were singing? Yeah she is."

Nezumi smiled as his amendment, but then his eyes darkened.

"How do you know her?"

"She's another noble child," Shion explained. "We were somewhat forced to spend time together growing up, but we've always gotten along well. She was my only real friend for a long time."

"So you see her as friend then?" Nezumi asked, shifting his eyes sideways to look at Shion. "Do you spend a lot of time with her?"

Shion became confused by Nezumi's line of questioning. "Mostly just at parties these days. Before my birthday I hadn't seen her for several months. We write letters back and forth sometimes, but to be honest I've forgotten lately. There's been a lot on my mind—,"

"But she likes you doesn't she?" Nezumi cut in and Shion looked at him in surprise.

"Likes me how?" he questioned.

Nezumi lowered his eyelids. "The way a woman would feel about a man."

Shion tilted his head, "I don't… know… we've just been friends a long time. Why?"

"Because I'm fairly certain she does." Nezumi replied, eyes flitting back to the pages of the book. "The way she leaned on you at your birthday, she was clearly trying to get your attention."

Shion's eyebrows pulled together, "Leaning on me?"

Nezumi's lips curved upward. "And apparently not succeeding."

"All I really remember about that dance was you singing," Shion confessed, "I had never heard anything like it."

Nezumi smiled wider, "You know that's strange, don't you Shion? That a beautiful woman was giving you all her attention and all you could think about was another man?"

Shion tilted his head sideways, "You don't want me to think about you?"

Nezumi looked at him, "I didn't say that. It's just not ordinary. Men think of women. Like Safu—,"

"Do you think about women?" Shion asked, feeling a clench in his chest. Nezumi eyes widened, like he'd caught him off guard.

"I think you're missing the point I'm trying to make," Nezumi grumbled, looking away.

Shion looked down too. "You're trying to tell me… that it's normal for you to think of women. That you think I'm strange for not thinking about them."

Nezumi sighed, "Not exactly. I'm trying point out what you don't seem to be putting together. Your mother… she must have been with a man who was your father, and that's how she got you, right?"

Shion looked at Nezumi and nodded. "I never met him though."

Nezumi's eyes darkened at that but he said nothing. "Rikiga… He loves your mother, wanted her because he found her to be a beautiful woman. That's the natural way of things. A man finds a woman and they have a family. Wasn't that ever a part of your plan?"

Shion eyebrows pulled together as he started to realize what Nezumi was getting at.

"I never thought about it much." Shion confessed. "I wanted… to love someone. I figured that I would find that or I wouldn't. Until then… I would never know what kind of future someone else would want. Or if there would ever be someone else whose opinion mattered, so I focused on myself."

Nezumi looked surprised. "So you never imagined settling down with a woman just because that's way of things?"

Shion tilted his head. "That sounds like a terrible reason to be with someone forever."

Nezumi laughed again.

"You're not wrong," Nezumi chuckled. "So then what about kids? You know as king you're expected to have heirs."

Shion looked down. "I'm not king though. I always thought… I wouldn't plan my life based on something that may never happen. I know that If I'm accepted as king, there's a chance my future will change. The truth is, that is one of the reasons I was hesitant about trying to become king in the first place. There was a time I wasn't even going to try. But something you said when we were kids changed my mind."

Nezumi's eyes widened. "Me?"

Shion nodded. "When I was telling you that I disagreed with Rikiga. That I thought I could never rule like he did. You said maybe that was the reason I should be king."

Nezumi lips parted in surprise, like he was about to speak and then didn't. He looked down.

"I still believe that," Nezumi admitted. "It would be interesting to see what someone like you could do for this place. Maybe people could be happier. But who knows… really."

Shion smiled, "Well, that's why I thought I'd try. If there was a chance I could make people's lives better, then I wanted to do what I could. But there's always the chance it won't happen."

There was silence between them for a while, as Nezumi tipped his head back against the wall and stared at the ceiling, thinking. Finally he looked at Shion.

"Shion," He said his voice low and urgent. "You realize the way you act with me– the kissing, and telling me you think about me. You realize those are things you're supposed to do with a woman? Someone who you could marry someday."

Shion frowned. "But I feel that way for you," he countered, his forehead drawing together in something like panic. "I don't want to be like this with anyone else. Why does it matter what gender either of us are?"

Nezumi flinched at Shion's words and his voice became harder. "Well, because two men can't have kids, for one. People, religion, frown on a relationship between the same gender, for two."

Shion shook his head. "I don't care about that. You're more important."

Nezumi cringed, closing his eyes.

"You're so careless with the things you say, Shion."

"I'm not!" Shion snapped, "I mean it, that there's no one else." Shion's eyes lowered to the bed. "So unless you're telling me that you don't want me…. it doesn't matter. The choice doesn't belong to anyone else."

Nezumi sighed, "That's pretty bold talk, little prince."

Shion steeled himself. "It's how I feel."

Nezumi looked at him, "Maybe. But when it comes down to it… people don't stick to those kinds of decisions."

Shion shook his head. "I'm not going to change my mind. Not as long as I can be with you."

"And who said you could be with me?" Nezumi asked, raising his chin a bit defiantly.

Shion's eyes widened and for a moment it felt like something in his chest had swollen up to crush all the air out of his lungs.

"I…" He stumbled over his words, "No one… I…"

He thought he was going to throw up.

Nezumi reached out and took Shion by the chin.

"You have to ask for what you want, Shion. Understand?" Nezumi was smiling now. An amused crooked smile. "Do you want me?"

Shion sucked in a breath and opened his mouth, "I—"

"Shh…" Nezumi put his finger to Shion's lips, smiling wider. "Hold on. I want to make something clear. You need to realize that there will be a time when our lives won't continue down the same path anymore. Anything that happens between us is going to end. If you can't handle that, then you have to walk away right now. Do you understand?"

Shion stared into the sharp gray that was Nezumi's eyes, and thought. He imagined a day where Nezumi would leave and Shion couldn't follow, like when they were kids. He asked himself if that were to happen, would any time they could have now would be worth anything? He came up with only a single answer.

He would do anything he could, for every single second he could have. If that day was coming where he could have no more time… he would be grateful that there was ever a moment where Nezumi chose him.

"I understand," Shion said. His hand shooting out to touch Nezumi's cheek, sliding down the dark haired boy's neck like Nezumi had done to Shion in the past. Nezumi's eyes flew wide in surprise.

"I want you, Nezumi," Shion said, staring into the other boy's eyes. "I do. If can ask for you, then I'm asking. I'm asking, please."

Nezumi's eyes went to Shion's. For a moment he looked almost frightened, like he had since Shion had touched him. Then his eyelids lowered.

"If it pleases his majesty." he said, a small smile turning up the corners of his mouth. Shion's eyes widened and he pulled back.

Nezumi frowned, "What is it?"

Shion looked on the brink of tears.

"Don't say it like that," he whispered, "Don't say it like I'm a prince. Say it like it's just me, just Shion. Please."

Nezumi grinned, "I enjoy teasing you, Shion," he said, reaching up to slide his hand into his Shion's hair. "I would have said it like that either way. Because you are such a spoiled child."

Shion glared, "Hey!"

Nezumi chuckled, "But because you asked… "

Nezumi lowered his eyes to be level with Shion's.

"If it pleases you, just Shion."

Shion smiled ruefully, "You're always making fun of me."

"Yes I am." and Nezumi locked their lips together.

"You realize…" Nezumi murmured between kisses, his lips brushing against Shion's. "That there's more to do than just kissing, don't you?"

Shion was already breathing hard, "What… do you mean?"

Then, Shion was on his back and Nezumi was looming over him, his arms on either side of Shion's shoulders.

Shion stared up at him with blinking, confused eyes.

"Shion," Nezumi sighed, "I think it's time we had a practical conversation over what you know about sex."

Shion's eyes flew wide.

KNOCK, KNOCK

"Your majesty? I came to call you down to breakfast."

Shion glanced at the door, still breathing hard. Nezumi sighed.

"On second thought, it looks like it's going to have to wait." Nezumi lowered his eyelids to look at Shion. "Good news is that we have our lessons later tonight, and I have a lot to teach you."

Shion gulped.

* * *

 

To say that Shion couldn't focus during rehearsal would have been a serious understatement.

The crew wasn't going over Nezumi's scenes today. Ichigan was trying to work with a few actors on another part of the play— the set up for their scenes taking up the entire time.

The rest of the actors were working on their lines. Nezumi— true to his character—working alone.

While they were in rehearsal, Nezumi was tending to keep his distance from Shion. At least when there wasn't some reasonable excuse to do otherwise. This had ceased to bother Shion though, since he suspected it had to do with what the other actors would think. Shion didn't want anyone thinking his status as prince had anything to do with Nezumi's achievements. So Shion followed the dark-haired actor's lead.

In fact, this wasn't particular different than any other rehearsal. Except that one thing kept returning Shion's mind.

_"I have a lot to teach you."_

Shion shook his head back and forth, trying to breath and watch the stage.

He steadfastly refused to look at Nezumi– because that simply would not help. But nerves were still running though his veins like lightning bugs, making his hands shake.

By the time rehearsal had ended, Shion was certain he would fall down when he stood up, but he forced himself to do it anyway.

When he made it into the hall, something immediately took his mind off it.

"My lord, the messenger is once again well enough to travel. We need to know what you want to do about the prison."

Shion swallowed hard.

"I'd like to speak with the messenger," Shion decided, his forehead creasing with stress. "Please take me to him."

In the end, the messenger seemed to be fine. He offered to try and send a message to the prison from Shion, but Shion refused.

"Enough people got hurt trying to make that journey." He said. "I'll find another way."

Shion said that, but the truth was he was mostly stalling for time. He had no idea what it would happen if he tried to contact the prison again. Would Nezumi stop it? And even if he didn't, did Shion want to warn the prison about Nezumi?

The truth was, Shion wanted to look into the war prisoners. He wanted to find a way for them to be free, to allow them to live in peace, but Shion didn't have that kind of power now. Only the king could do something like that, and Rikiga would never do it.

Shion knew that's why he was trying to become king, but at the same time, he wasn't in a hurry to rush the process.

What would happen to him and Nezumi the second he got crowned? Even if he were to help Nezumi's people… he was certain Nezumi would leave.

"There will come a time our paths won't run together anymore,"

Shion closed his eyes and sighed.

This time he did make it to the end of dinner, and everyone stood when he walked, in which was mildly frightening. He dismissed them to finish eating and he sat down at the head of the table. He felt very alone.

He began filling a plate full of food for himself, and sipped at his wine. When he happened to glance up at the rest of the table, though, he met with harsh silver eyes.

Nezumi was looking at him and while making as if to drink his wine he mouthed something to Shion.

"Skin and bones."

Shion blushed and frowned, but he did pick up the pace with eating. He was so sick of Nezumi telling him he was too skinny. He'd always looked like that. It was part of why everyone thought he was so sickly.

Finally dinner ended with Shion dismissing everyone. Shion stayed standing at the head of the table as everyone left. Then he sat back down with a sigh.

"I have a lot to teach you."

Shion shook his head and reached for his wine.

"Are you avoiding me or just trying to get drunk?"

Shion looked toward the doorway. He found Nezumi leaning there, threatening in all black. His silver eyes bright like metal.

Shion blushed.

"Neither," He insisted, "I just— it's been a while since I've been at dinner with everyone, and I'm the Regent. It seems like Rikiga always stays after dismissing everyone else. I thought maybe—,"

"Well sure," Nezumi agreed, walking forward and folding his arms over the top of one of the chairs near where Shion was sitting. "But he has your mom stay with him. I imagine the two of them are just having their alone time."

Shion blushed darker, "Oh,"

Nezumi laughed.

Shion took another gulp of his wine and stood.

"So, shall we?"

Nezumi grinned. "Only if you can still walk straight,"

Shion bristled, "I didn't drink that much!"

Nezumi laughed, "Well, sure, but you're such a light weight."

Shion scowled.

Nezumi chuckled and motioned with his head, "Let's go. We've got a lot I want to get through tonight, so we had better get started."

Shion felt heat run from his head to his toes and back again. "Sure."

The two of them talked idly about the show on their way to Shion's room. Nezumi said he worried about playing a girl and a guy at the same time, and Shion asked him about costumes. When they finally reach the hall, Nezumi was explaining his ideas when, suddenly, he broke off.

He moved to his own door, making Shion look at him in confusion.

Nezumi put a finger to his lips and opened the door, slipping inside.

Shion stood there dumb-founded, until the door for his own room clicked open.

"Oh, good evening my lord." One of the maids greeted him as she exited, dropping a curtsy. "I've just finished drawing you a hot bath in your wash room. Try to use the water while it's still hot. I'll come by again in a few hours to empty it for you."

"Thank you," Shion said immediately, "I appreciate it."

The maid smiled, curtsied again, and hurried away.

When her footsteps were no longer in ear shot, Nezumi emerged from his room.

"Interesting," he said leaning in his doorway. "Would you like me to come by when your done with your bath, your majesty?"

Shion shot him a look at the title, but then rubbed the back of his neck.

"Do you want a bath too? We'd have to share the water I guess… But I know you don't have your own wash room. You could even go first if you want."

Nezumi raised his eyebrows, "For a moment I thought you were being suggestive."

Shion flushed, "What?"

Nezumi rolled his eyes, "Never mind. Are you sure you want to do that?"

Shion shrugged, "Sure. I don't mind."

Nezumi smiled, "Well if your offering. Lead the way."

Shion walked into his bedroom with Nezumi at his heels. Once he'd shut the door he turned to look at Nezumi.

"You can go first," Shion repeated. "It will be warmer for you that way."

Nezumi smiled, "Well now that you put it that way, It does seem like we're being a little counter productive."

Shion blinked. "What do you mean?"

Nezumi stepped forward, and ran his hand along the front of Shion's shirt. "Would you like to join me?"

Shion flushed all the way down to his toes.

"You don't have to," Nezumi added, "But I want you to be honest with me. Do you want to?"

"I…" Shion's voice quivered, "I don't know."

Nezumi chuckled, "What are you feeling?"

"Nervous," Shion admitted, "And hot."

Nezumi smiled wide enough to show his teeth.

"Here?" Nezumi took two fingers and pressed them to Shion's upper abdomen. Shion shook his head.

Nezumi trailed his fingers to the lowest part of Shion's torso, just a few inches above his hip bone. "Here?"

Shion trembled, then nodded.

"Does it feel tight?" Nezumi asked, "Like your stomach is clenching?"

Shion nodded.

Nezumi smiled, "That's desire, Shion. You're body is trying to tell you it wants this."

Shion breathed shakily, "I'm nervous."

"That's normal too," Nezumi agreed, "And you don't have to do it. It's your choice. But I'll take it easy, I swear. I'm just trying to teach you something. I won't touch you if you don't want me to."

Shion closed his eyes.

"Okay,"

"Okay?"

Shion nodded, "Yes, I want to."

Nezumi smiled "All right. Then this way."

Nezumi lead Shion until they were both standing beside the metal tub full of water. So hot there was a layer of steam blowing off it like fog off an ocean. Nezumi started undoing his jacket.

"Get undressed Shion."

Shion flushed.

Nezumi chuckled, "Would you like me to turn around?"

Shion pressed his eyes shut for a few moments. "No, it's okay."

Shion started undoing his shirt, but he couldn't look at Nezumi and his cheeks had turned red. Nezumi tried to suppress his smile.

Eventually Shion was standing in only his undergarments and so was Nezumi. Nezumi stopped there to try and make it easier on Shion, and Shion just couldn't find the courage to take off anymore.

"I don't have to look right now," Nezumi offered. "I can turn away until you're in the water.

Shion closed his eyes tight.

"I look so hideous, don't I?" Shion murmured, almost in spite of himself. "That's why you're always saying I'm too thin. And this stupid scar—,"

"Is that what you're worried about?" Nezumi looked angry.

Shion opened his eyes wide at the other's boy's tone.

"I say you're thin because you skip dinner too often and give it away to stray kids who wander onto your balcony." Nezumi teased and Shion half-smiled.

"There isn't anything wrong with the way you look." Nezumi continued, slowly approaching Shion like he was a frightened animal. "In fact, I'm jealous. The way you look is unforgettable. Beautiful. And in a way that no one else has but you."

Shion's eyebrows arched toward his hair at Nezumi's words. Nezumi never complimented him like that. Not so straightforward. Shion had learned to come by Nezumi's compliments more in a lack of insults that anything else.

"I don't think I can—," Shion struggled with saying it, but vaguely gestured towards his hips. "My hands keep shaking…"

"Do you want me to do it?" Nezumi offered, eyes becoming half lidded. Shion's heart beat picked up.

Shion couldn't find his voice so he just nodded. Nezumi's long, callused hands found Shion's hips.

His thumbs rubbed against the indents in Shion's hip bones, and Shion sucked in a breath at the feeling that spread through him. Then Shion realized the fabric had left his hips.

"Get into the water."

Shion did. Blushing as he stepped over the side and flinching as hot water met his skin in the moment before he started to adjust to it.

He sank down into it and turned back to look at Nezumi.

Without hesitation Nezumi stepped out of his underwear. Shion was painfully tempted to look down. But he was too embarrassed. He found himself blushing and looking away until the water shifted and Nezumi was sitting across from him in the tub.

Nezumi chuckled, "You're so pure, but you know what." Nezumi's eyelids hooded his eyes. "I kind of like it."

Shion felt a wave of warm flood over him and he looked down in embarrassment. Nezumi clicked his tongue.

"Shion, look at me."

Shion looked back at Nezumi's face.

Nezumi motioned a circle in the air with his finger. "Turn around. I'll wash you."

Shion turned.

Nezumi found a rough cloth draped over the side of the tub and dipped it in the hot water before he began scrubbing it over Shion's back. Shion felt his tense muscles start to relax under the gentle touch and hot water. After a moment, Shion let out a breath and closed his eyes, his shoulders releasing their tension. Nezumi smiled secretly.

"Feels good?"

Shion nodded, "Yeah,"

"How about this?"

Around his washing, Nezumi started rubbing his fingers into the muscles of Shion's back, working the knots out of them.

Shion smiled. "That feels nice too."

"Good. Shion?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to try something."Nezumi said, "I'll touch you, and I want you just to focus on how it feels, don't think about anything else. Then I want you to tell me if it feels good or not. Does that sound okay?"

Shion felt some nerves find there way back into his stomach but he nodded. "Okay."

"Good. Now just relax."

Shion took a few deep breaths. He tried to focus on the warm water, and the quiet, and the feeling of Nezumi's hands on the tight muscles in his back. He found himself relaxing.

At first Nezumi's touch didn't change much from massaging. He massaged Shion's shoulders, his back, and his upper arms. Every time he did something different, Shion would tell him how nice it felt, and Nezumi would continue. When all his back muscles had gotten Nezumi's attention, the dark boy's hands slid forward around his waist. Finding their way to the upper part of his abdomen.

Shion sucked in a breath.

Nezumi's hands slid softly over his ribs and stomach. Tracing patterns over his skin and raising sensations in Shion like he was creating ripples through water.

"What's wrong? Does it not feel okay?"

Shion closed his eyes and tried clear his mind. Just focus on how it feels, that's what Nezumi had told him to do. Shion tried to completely forget everything else.

"It feels good," Shion assured, Nezumi. "It's just that it makes me feel… funny." Shion squirmed.

Nezumi chuckled, low. The sound brushed Shion's ear.

"That's normal too." Nezumi's hand slid up and his thumb circled Shion's nipple. Shion jerked.

"Nezumi…"

Nezumi chuckled, "Are you all right, Shion?"

"It feels good… but I…" Shion squirmed desperately.

"Hmm…" Nezumi hummed. "You're sensitive. Maybe we should take this a little slower."

Shion let out a breath. He didn't know why but that sounded like a terrible idea.

"Nezumi," Shion tried to turn around. "I feel strange not looking at you."

Nezumi hesitated a moment then moved to allow Shion to turn around.

As Shion turned to look at him, his eyes met Nezumi's. Which had turned a deep charcoal gray.

"Do you want me to wash you too?" Shion asked, tilting his head. He raised his hand out of the water moving to touch Nezumi's cheek, but Nezumi caught his hand out of the air and held it between his fingers.

"Do you want to?" Nezumi asked, smiling with glinting eyes. Shion nodded.

"Will you show me what to do?"

Nezumi chuckled, "Of course, but you're not done yet either, so watch me."

For the next few minutes things stayed fairly innocent. Nezumi took on his teaching tone, washing Shion and then drawing Shion's hands over himself.

Shion watched him as he spoke, watching the water trailing down his skin over the contours of muscles and frame. When Shion looked up again he was momentarily distracted.

His eyes fell on Nezumi's hair, pulled up into a tail like it always was. Shion remembered when they were kids Nezumi's hair had fallen loose to his shoulders. And in his dream he remembered his hair had been blowing out around his face.

Shion was unbearably curious, and he reached up, only to stop himself short of touching it.

"What is it?" Nezumi asked and Shion's eyes fell to his face.

"Do you want me to wash your hair?" Shion asked and Nezumi raised an eyebrow.

"Sure I guess." he agreed after a moment. "If you let me wash this mop of yours." Nezumi mussed Shion's hair, making it stick up wildly where he got it wet. Shion blushed.

"Sure."

Nezumi smiled and reached back, yanking the tie out of his hair, and letting it fall. Shion's eyes widened. It looked so smooth, like silk, as it cascaded down to brush over the tops of his shoulders.

Nezumi shook his head so that his hair fanned out around him. He looked at Shion.

Shion got a wave of water in his face.

"Hey!" the white-haired boy sputtered. "What was that for?"

"I was trying to get your hair wet," said Nezumi with a grin. "Stop staring at me."

Shion flushed and looked away.

"Lean back." Nezumi instructed, taking Shion by the shoulder as he eased his head back into the water.

When Shion's hair submerged he pulled him forward again, but when Shion was trying to sit up, he slipped.

Shion gave a shout of surprise. He fell forward, his knees sliding outward to hit the sides of the tub under water. His body fell forward, until Nezumi caught him.

"Ouch," Shion winced at the impact on his knees, then blinked his eyes open to look at Nezumi. Nezumi was holding his shoulders, but he looked forced back, his legs sliding forward as he slipped along the bottom of the tub. He was now was lying under Shion where the white-haired boy curved over him. His was wincing.

"Nezumi, are you okay?" Shion asked, eyebrows pulling together in worry. Nezumi opened his eyes.

They were nearly black.

That's when Shion realized. When he'd pushed Nezumi back, the dark haired boy's lower body had slid. And now Nezumi was all but sprawled between Shion's legs.

Nezumi looked up at Shion with hooded eyes, his cheeks slightly stained with color, and his hair tangling around him. Shion's throat went dry.

"Shion," Nezumi whispered, a bit breathlessly. "This is all your fault.

Then Nezumi was moving. He braced himself against the back of the tub, and he dragged Shion forward by the hips. Seating the white haired boy in his lap, legs bent on either side of Nezumi's hips.

Shion sucked in a breath as he felt friction ignite between his legs and he fell into Nezumi. The next thing he knew he was getting pulled down into a kiss.

Nezumi's lips were hot and insistent against Shion's and the white haired boy let out a soft noise at the feeling. Nezumi smiled against his mouth.

Nezumi's hands roamed over Shion, his fingers tracing the dips of his frame and the smooth planes of his skin. Shion felt every touch like pin pricks loosed beneath his skin, and Shion trembled.

When Shion was starting to get dizzy without any air Nezumi released his lips, but a moment later his mouth fell to Shion's throat.

Shion heard a moan escape his lips as Nezumi's tongue slid over the stripe of Shion's scar around his neck. Shion reached up to cover his mouth.

Nezumi caught his hand.

Shion looked down at Nezumi as he pulled back, their eyes meeting and their heavy breaths mixing in the air. Nezumi opened his mouth like he was about to say something…

KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK

"Your Majesty? I'm here to empty the bath."

Nezumi curse violently under his breath.

"Damn cock-blocking maids."

* * *

 

After wrapping Nezumi in a towel and Shion scrambling into a dressing robe the two boys hid in the closet.

Shion pretended to be getting ready for bed as the maid went about emptying the water. Nezumi leaned in the corner of the closet and scowled while they waited.

When she was gone, Shion let out a sigh of relief and Nezumi rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Shion offered as the two of them emerged from the closet. Nezumi shrugged.

"It's fine," he said, a little too briskly. "We should be working on your acting anyway. You've been slacking off."

Shion felt a wave of something cold wash over him at that. "Oh, okay."

"I'm going to go get some clothes from my room," Nezumi added. "I'll be back." Nezumi moved to leave, and Shion realized he was already reaching to gather up his hair.

"Wait," Shion called and Nezumi looked back at him.

"Would you mind leaving your hair down?" The white haired asked timidly, his cheeks staining pink. "It just… it looks so…" he struggled to find the word, "Natural…" was that it?

Nezumi raised an eyebrow but he was half-smiling now. "You want the natural me, Huh? Would you like me to leave my shirt off as well?"

There was an edge of sarcasm in Nezumi's voice, but being Shion he didn't notice it.

"If you want to." Shion said, and his cheeks darkened.

Nezumi's raised both eyebrows and then let out a laugh.

"I'll make you a deal." Nezumi said, reaching back and grabbing one of the ties on Shion's robe, letting it slip through his fingers. "I'll do what you asked, if you stay dressed just like this."

Shion looked down at himself, standing in just a robe, and he went red all over.

"If… you want me to." Shion stammered, his scar disappearing against the stain in his cheeks.

Nezumi chuckled, "Then it's a deal," and Nezumi turned to exit into the hall.


	8. Foolish Promises and Hopeless Things

Shion's hands shook as he balled them into fists at his side, and lowered his head.

_Life always comes down to moments like this…_

Shion trembled. His shoulders rising and falling as he took a deep breath.

_Always forcing people…_

"I…"

_To give up…_

"Your majesty…"

_On foolish promises._

Shion raised his head. Nezumi couldn't see his face, but his shoulders straightened.

"I'm sorry,"

Nezumi closed his eyes.

* * *

 

**~One Day Previous~**

Nezumi desperately needed to re-think his life choices.

"What the hell am I doing?" He demanded of himself when he was alone in his bedroom after excusing himself to go get some clothes. He flung himself onto his bed with his head in his hands.

"I'm acting like a common whore! Have I completely lost my mind?" he let out a full breath.

He'd never expected what had happened so far that night. He'd started out just wanting to tease Shion a bit, but he hadn't anticipated how he'd react to the temptation.

And he'd been so willing, Nezumi thought, shaking his head. Sure, the kid had been embarrassed but Nezumi had expected him to sprint out of the room long before he'd ever see the kid naked and straddling–

Nezumi broke off that thought before it progressed any further and pushed his hands into his eyes until he saw white.

"What am I doing?"

Finally when Nezumi's thoughts had settled he pushed himself off his bed and started looking for clothes. When he'd dressed himself from the hips down he paused.

He'd been teasing Shion when he'd said he'd leave his shirt off– but the kid had surely called his bluff. Nezumi didn't really mind shirtless, but the atmosphere that deal created might just be more than he needed right now.

Nezumi sighed, reaching up to run a hand through his hair.

He paused.

"I like your hair like that"

Nezumi groaned as he flushed.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

Maybe it was just how long it had been– he thought– since the last time he'd been with someone just because he wanted to. In fact… Nezumi wasn't sure he'd ever been with someone without an ulterior reason. Sure, he had the drive, but he'd always been firmly in control of it. Rarely had his mind not been on other things.

Until now…

"Why him?" Nezumi wanted to know, his eyes shifting towards the door as if Shion stood beyond it. "Why that kid?"

Nezumi pictured Shion's face almost without meaning to. Shion's big round eyes, striking red, and fluffy white hair like some smiling bunny.

Nezumi had never had a weakness for cute things. But Shion…

Nezumi felt a tug in his chest. He sighed, narrowing his eyes at the floor.

"What am I doing?"

* * *

 

"Nezumi? What's wrong?" Shion asked as soon as the dark haired actor slipped back into his room from the hall.

Nezumi looked up at him in surprise.

Dammit, how does he see EVERYTHING.

"Nothing," Nezumi replied coolly, "Just contemplating the complete butchering of precious works I'm about to subject myself too."

Shion scowled at him. "You're the teacher! Doesn't it say something bad about you if I'm not improving?"

Nezumi shrugged, "There's little to be done about a complete lack of talent."

A pillow sailed past Nezumi's head.

He chuckled. "Don't be so sensitive. So are you ready to get started now?"

"Sure," Shion replied, perking up immediately. Like a bunny…. Nezumi eyebrows drooped.

"Can we try Macbeth?" Shion asked a moment later. "I want to know what it's about."

"It's going to make things a lot more difficult if you don't know what's going on." Nezumi pointed out, feeling a chill on his back. Maybe he really should have worn a shirt.

Shion blinked, "Oh I guess that's true. What should we do then?"

Nezumi fought back the millions of inappropriate responses to that question that flooded his mind.

He cleared his throat. "Let me think…"

Nezumi sat down on the bed, folding his ankles together and resting on his arms stretched out behind him. He looked at the ceiling as he thought, but he could feel Shion's eyes on him the whole time.

"Do you have anything we can write on?"

"Huh?" Shion blinked, "yeah."

"Take it out and start making a list."

Shion moved to a desk near his bookshelves pulling out a parchment and ink.

"A list of what?"

"Every emotion you can think of, but space them out and you can stop when you reach the bottom of the page"

Shion thought for a moment and then slowly started writing.

"Okay, I'm done." Shion said a few moments later.

Nezumi sat up. "Hand it over."

Shion gave it to him, and Nezumi didn't even look at it closely before he started slowly tearing it into strips.

Shion startled, "What are you doing?"

Nezumi let the curls of paper rain down on the bed and stirred a hand through them to mix them up. Then he looked at Shion and waved a hand over the mess. "Pick one."

Shion blinked.

He came slowly over to stare at the shredded paper with a curious tilt to his head. Finally he reached out and took one of them.

"Don't tell me what it says, but read it to yourself." Nezumi instructed, and Shion smoothed the strip of parchment through his fingers.

"Okay."

"Now act it out,"

Shion's head snapped up. "What?"

"Act it out. Try to show me, without words, what emotion it is. If you do it right, guessing it should be effortless. If I can't tell what it is, you're doing it wrong and you have to keep going until you get it right."

Shion looked horrified.

"But–,"

"Are you questioning the teacher?" Nezumi accused, smiling lazily like a cat at a trapped mouse. Shion made a face.

"Is the emotion "Kill me now"?"

"No."

"Then stop screwing around."

Shion sighed.

"All right," Shion took a breath, curling his hand around the scrap of paper. "I'll do my best."

Nezumi watched carefully and Shion's expression and posture convulsed fruitlessly for a few moments.

Nezumi raised an eyebrow.

"Are you having stomach pains?"

"NO!"

"Then this is pathetic."

Shion huffed grumpily.

"Come on, Shion." Nezumi encouraged, "You wrote these emotions down. You had to have had them before. Think back to that time and try to draw from experience."

Shion blinked at that advice and then seemed to think for a moment.

Eventually, his eyebrows seemed to relax against his face, and his eyes seemed open and watery. His lips drooped.

"Are you sad?"

Shion beamed, "Yes!"

Nezumi chuckled, "Way to break character. We'll have to work on that next."

Shion blushed.

"Okay pick another," Nezumi ordered, pulling his legs up on the bed and sitting cross legged with his chin resting on his hand against his knee.

Shion took another paper.

He stood there for a moment looking uncertain, then finally inspiration struck his face and he closed his eyes tightly, seeming to close in on himself like he was trying to cover himself with his arms.

Nezumi stared in surprise, and tried not to notice what it did to the coverage of his robe across his long pale legs.

"Are you…" Nezumi considered for a moment, "Afraid?"

Shion immediately blushed when Nezumi said that, and suddenly the stance and expression were one he recognized.

"Oh, you're embarrassed!"

"Yeah," Shion admitted, finally releasing the stance. Nezumi smiled.

"Very good, now onto the next one."

At the next one Shion picked, the white haired balked and his entire face went red.

"What is it?"

"Nothing… I think I might just pick a different–,"

"Don't cheat!" Nezumi snapped, "What's wrong? You wrote the list, what's so embarrassing?"

Shion's eyes went to Nezumi's face, flushed like a ruby, and he was almost simultaneously looking anywhere else.

Nezumi frowned.

"Shion, what are you so afraid of?"

"I just… I don't think I can do it."

"Why not?"

Shion bit his lip and shifted uncomfortably.

"Is it an emotion you've felt before or not?"

Shion's eyes widened sharply, and he looked a little like he couldn't breath.

He looked at Nezumi and his eyebrows drew back towards his hair his eyes growing impossibly wider as his mouth pressed in a tight line.

Then he closed his eyes and shook his head violently.

Nezumi dropped his arms, "What the hell, Shion?"

"I don't know." Shion said, abruptly taking the slip of paper between his fingers and tearing it up into minuscule pieces until it was all but a fine powder on the floor.

Nezumi stared on in amused shock.

"Wow. Okay, now you're really not getting out of this."

Shion locked into place like a startled deer.

Nezumi grinned, "What was on the paper Shion?"

Shion looked up in terror and started backing away. "Nothing."

"Oh?" Nezumi stood up and Shion nearly stumbled over backwards."You sure made a big fuss over nothing."

Shion shook his head, his hair flying around fluffily, having finally dried. "Nezumi don't."

Nezumi's eyes narrowed as his lips spread into a slow smile; like water running down a hill. Slowly… but with a gaining speed. "Shion…"

"Please sit back down," The prince pleaded, stumbling away. Eventually though, his back hit the book shelf and his face broke into horrible shock.

Nezumi was about a foot and half away.

"Shion…" Nezumi's tone held a warning.

Shion flinched. "Please don't…"

Nezumi's eyes narrowed.

He converged on Shion, until they were standing a few inches from each other and Nezumi looking down on Shion's frightened face.

Nezumi reached out and grabbed the belt of Shion's robe.

Shion's eyes widened, "What are you doing?"

Nezumi grinned wickedly.

"Tell me what it said, Shion, or else…" Nezumi tugged on the belt, and it loosened slightly around the prince's waist.

Shion paled.

"Nezumi… please I–,"

Tug.

Shion sucked in a breath, "Nezumi!"

Tug.

"Stop!" Shion's cheeks were crimson.

Tug.

The rob had split open down to inches above Shion's hips. The prince squeezed his eyes shut. If Nezumi gave just one more tug… Maybe two…

Tug.

The robe was hanging on a hair's breath.

"All right!" Shion covered his face with his hands, his eyes still shut tightly.

Nezumi stopped. "All right?"

Shion peered out from between his fingers.

"thpablesawub," Shion grumbled around his palms.

"What?"

"The paper said love!" Shion looked sideways at the ground as he gathered up the edges of his robe and pulled it closed again.

Nezumi stared blankly.

"Love as an emotion?" Nezumi asked his eyelids lowered. He crossed his arms. "And you didn't know how to show that, is that it?"

Shion looked up at him, his eyes half hiding behind his hair and his cheeks still brilliant scarlet. He glanced at Nezumi, almost angrily and then quickly away. "Whatever, can we just move on please?"

"Well that's hardly sporting," Nezumi criticized, "You're not even going to try?"

Shion suddenly fumed. "You really want me to try?"

Nezumi grinned, "Of course."

And that's when Shion threw himself at him.

For the briefest moment, Nezumi thought Shion might have gotten so angry he was actually trying to attack him, but instead– soft, sloppy lips were suddenly pressed flush against Nezumi's.

Nezumi's eyes flew wide.

At first the kiss felt stiff and unyielding like Shion was merely throwing it in Nezumi's face, but after a moment Shion sort of fell against him, and his hands, that had been griping the sides of Nezumi's face, slid down around his neck.

Dammit. Nezumi thought, as the kiss softened. He could feel all the earnestness in Shion's body pour through into the kiss and it made Nezumi's throat feel like it was swelling shut.

Shion… don't get this attached to me.

Nezumi grabbed Shion's shoulders and pushed him back slightly.

Nezumi's eyes were clouded. When Shion's eyes blinked open, Nezumi watched a gleam of happiness that had formed in them slowly drain away as he took in Nezumi's expression.

Shion stepped back. "Nezumi…?"

Nezumi put the back of his hand to his own mouth and looked away."I have to go." he started to turn.

Shion snatched his hand.

Nezumi almost jerked it away, but when he turned back Shion's expression stopped him.

He was looking down, his white hair falling over his eyes so that they were invisible and his body was locked in a tension that was prepared to violently shatter at any moment.

"Nezumi," Shion murmured, "You're such a liar."

Nezumi's eyebrow slanted inward, and fury bloomed in his chest. "Excuse me?"

Shion looked up at him, and his eyes were blazing like fires. Nezumi was momentarily taken aback by the violence of them. "YOU'RE A LIAR!"

Nezumi turned fully to look at him. "What in the hell–,"

"Let me in!" Shion shouted, shoving Nezumi hard in the chest and causing him to slightly stumble back. "You said I could have you, that you'd TRY. But you keep running away!"

Nezumi's eyes widened.

"What did you think I was asking for before?" Shion demanded, "Do you think I just wanted something physical from you? Because that's not it! I wouldn't care if you never touched me, as long as I felt you let me close to you. But instead I feel like you're kissing me through stone! And the moment I feel like I've chipped at it, you push me away."

Nezumi jerked backwards.

"I told you," Shion continued, tears welling in his eyes. "I told before that if you just wanted to play with me then you could stay away. I wouldn't have done any of this, except that I saw it! I saw something in the way you acted towards me. I thought… I thought…" Shion stuttered.

Nezumi looked away and Shion took a deep breath.

"I love you."

Nezumi felt like something had struck him the chest.

"Shut up!" Nezumi jerked violently away, turning his back on Shion and resting his forehead in the palm of his hand.

"I told you what this relationship is, Shion!" Nezumi raved, clutching his head like it hurt. "I told you it was going to end and you had to be able to let me go when it did. You're not keeping a safe enough distance–,"

"I didn't agree to this so I could maintain a safe distance until you were gone." Shion said, his voice breaking slightly in places. "I agreed so that I could love you as closely as possible while you were here."

Nezumi gritted his teeth until it hurt.

"That's idiotic," Nezumi breathed, "That's like jumping off a cliff so you can feel like your flying until you hit the ground."

Shion sort of laughed

"Yeah," he sighed, the steam seeming to go out of him with the words. He closed his eyes. "I guess it is."

"I guess I understand now," Shion said eventually, opening his eyes again and looking at Nezumi with determination. "I can't make you see things the way I do. So if you don't want to let me any closer…"

"You're ending it?" Nezumi gave a hard laugh. "I should have known you couldn't handle–,"

"Of course not!" Shion sounded affronted. "That'd be doing the opposite of what I was just saying."

Nezumi looked back at him in surprise. "Then what?"

Shion smiled, "I'm just going to have to accept that it's just me."

Nezumi stared blankly, "What do you mean?"

"I'm going to love you the way that I want to," Shion said, "And you can maintain you're safe distance on your own."

Nezumi glared, "You know that's a bad idea."

Shion shook his head."I know that if you are given only one chance at something, you don't waste it to protect yourself."

Nezumi met Shion's eyes. Shion's expression was warmth, and determination. It was the type of expression that burned like sunlight, and it made Nezumi feel like the walls had started to close in around him.

What am I doing?

"I made a mistake," Nezumi said, running a hand over his face, and turning around to leave.

"What was your mistake, Nezumi?" Shion's voice was steady, and gentle. But it pierced through Nezumi's ears like a knife.

Nezumi stood there for a long moment, and the sound of the lamps flickering could be heard in the silence. And then Nezumi walked towards the door.

"Don't leave," Shion called.

Nezumi shut his eyes. "I can't do this, Shion." his hand was poised on the door.

"Nothing has to change." Shion whispered. "It's my choice."

"Your choices don't only affect you." Nezumi snapped, and then he strode out into the hall and slammed the door shut behind him.

* * *

 

Nezumi just wanted to break things.

He stormed around his room, ravaging everything until it was on the floor or in pieces.

His entire body shook.

_"I love you."_

Nezumi wanted to scream.

How had this happened? How had he let this happen? He'd had it right in the beginning, hadn't he? He'd planned to stay away from him, to act like strangers. Why hadn't he just stuck to that?

"I wasn't saying that, I think you're amazing."

"Acting is your profession. I'll hire you."

That's right. Nezumi closed his eyes. You gave me an excuse.

Nezumi dug his fingers into his hair. He was in the worst possible position now. In too deep to feel nothing, out too far to be happy. It was like being trapped on the side of a cliff face. He could fall, or he could climb, but he couldn't stay where he was anymore.

Nezumi acknowledge the fact that he had to choose. That he could choose. But that only seemed to paralyze him.

Choosing to jump with Shion scared him unexplainably, and he wondered if he could truly do it if he tried. But leaving Shion completely…

There was something that Nezumi hadn't let himself look at too closely at.

When he had been in a fight with Shion– before he left to stop the knights from reaching the prison– he had convinced himself that he could forget about everything else, and focus on the revenge that he had set out for.

But he regretted yelling at Shion, he regretted being weak enough that he couldn't stop himself from going to see him before he left. And when he left it had only gotten worse.

There was a moment; when Nezumi reached the castle–bloody from his own wounds and the wounds of the others– that he almost didn't have strength to try anymore. Looking up at that stone building he had considered that he would just die and that would be a peaceful end to all of it.

The only thing that had stopped him was Shion.

He hadn't wanted to die with the only person who genuinely cared about him hating him. That had been the only thought in his head. Then, when he finally got inside–when he had thought it might be too late for him anyway– Shion had come and saved him again.

"That's why I fell in this deep," Nezumi said, only to himself. "Shion, what are you doing to me?"

Nezumi sat down on his bed. Leaning back, he stared up at the ceiling in questioning silence, telling himself only one thing.

I could leave. I could go now before things get any worse. Before it gets any harder to go. I could disappear out a window, into the night, and all of it would end. I would never come back, and with enough time, maybe I would forget.

Nezumi thought that, he thought it over and over, and he pictured it to himself a hundred different times.

He would be lying if he said part of him didn't burn to do it. He'd also be lying if he said that there wasn't a moment where he had convinced himself he was going to do it. But that didn't scare him.

What scared him, was what he felt moment he moved to go.

It felt like something in his chest caved in, and a deep, hollow pit yawned open inside of him.

"Shit," Nezumi cursed, refusing to cry or give anything but anger as he felt how much of himself would be dragged back here if he tried to leave. He pressed the back of his hand to his mouth. "Shit."

He stood up, pacing over to his window and stopping to rest with his hand against the sill, letting the cool glass rest against his forehead, as he stared out the window into the starry night.

Nezumi had always been a bit of a caged bird. He longed for the distant, the restless, and the changing. He never liked staying put for very long. Looking out the window had always been one of his habits; like he was always half gone from where ever he was now.

This time, though, when Nezumi looked out the window it was different. His heart started to beat quickly, in an anxious, panicked way. Like the vast world had become something he was afraid of.

Nezumi sucked in a breath. How had he not noticed this sooner?

Nezumi looked down.

Ah, that's right, he thought, he'd been looking out the window so much less…. lately.

Nezumi pressed his hands to the sides of his head and shook.

_What am_ _I going to do?_ He wondered desperately.

_How did I let myself become attached… to such hopeless things_.

* * *

 

Shion woke up to the feeling of his bed shifting beneath him and he stiffened.

He was just about to gasp as he turned over to look behind him, but a pale, long-fingered hand reached out cover his mouth before he could make a sound.

Shion looked up, seeing ink black hair and steel colored eyes staring back at him through the dark. He blinked.

Nezumi was sitting beside him on the bed, his face grave as he looked at Shion– measuring his reaction for a few moments before finally releasing his mouth and leaning back so that he could lay down beside Shion on the bed.

For a long time there was silence. Nezumi staring at the ceiling and Shion staring at him while the two of them waited for Nezumi to gather his thoughts.

Finally the dark haired actor sighed.

"This doesn't mean I agree with what you said." Nezumi said eventually, still staring straight up instead of at the boy beside him.

Shion smiled gently, and scooted over until he could lay his head against Nezumi's chest, and wrap an arm around the taller boy's waist.

Shion yawned tiredly and closed his eyes. "I know."

A few long moments passed in the sleeping quiet, and Shion began to drift. He was almost half asleep already when he felt Nezumi move beneath him, and an arm came around the rest against Shion's back, Nezumi's hand smoothing over the back of the younger boy's snow white hair.

Nezumi breath seemed to tremble as he let it out all at once. "I don't know what I'm doing anymore, Shion."

"It's okay," Shion murmured sleepily, his soft hand petting over the smooth, planes of Nezumi's stomach. The muscles tightened under his touch. "We can figure it out together."

Nezumi was quiet in response to that, but Shion was already too close to sleep to notice. So instead he reached for Nezumi's free hand and pulled it closer to him, twining their fingers together on top of Nezumi's torso.

"Goodnight Nezumi," Shion slurred as everything around him began to slip away into oblivion.

* * *

 

Nezumi woke up to the sound of Shion's bedroom door slamming open.

"SHION!"

A voice roared so loud it stung against Nezumi's drowsy ears. Even still, Nezumi recognized it, and his blood froze in his veins.

Fuck.

Shion jolted wake, sitting up like a startled rabbit just in time to see King Rikiga storm into the room and turn his eyes on the two boys who were lying together in Shion's bed.

"What in the–?" Rikiga's eyes hardened fast as they took in the scene before him; Shion frightened and pajama clad with Nezumi lying beside him lacking a shirt.

Nezumi was sure it was an entertaining picture– however mislead– that formed in the kings mind as he tried to guess at what events had lead to the moment he was witnessing.

The king's face turned entirely red, and the veins popped out of his skull.

"Shion, Get. Dressed. And meet me in the throne room. You have a lot of explaining to do."

Shion had scrambled to get ready and go meet his father. He'd apologized to Nezumi–nearly three dozen times– but Nezumi had said next to nothing. He wasn't particularly upset about being caught in Shion's bed.

His mind had moved onto to a much different worry.

What was the king going to do to the two of them now?

* * *

 

After Shion ran off to the meeting, Nezumi pretended he was going to stay behind, but instead he got dressed and quickly snuck after Shion down the hall.

He found a place outside the throne room where he could hide and still listen, so he hunkered down and strained to hear to the king's voice in the other room.

"I left you one responsibility! One! That message what the most important thing you had to worry about, and not only was it stolen, but you have done nothing to remedy the situation besides getting my knights killed! And what do I discover you've been doing in the meantime? Honestly there aren't any words!"

"Do you have no inkling?" The king continued, "No Idea, of what is expected of a ruler? Do you have no idea the magnitude of what you've done? What it is you've just thrown away?"

"I'm so sorry that I have upset you," Shion replied, and his voice was surprisingly even for the situation.

"Sorry you upset me? You should be sorry you were born! Do you know what I could do to you now? What I should do?" The kings voice continued to rise. "Give me one reason I shouldn't banish you right now!"

Shion's hands shook as he balled them into fists at his side, and lowered his head.

Nezumi felt a nauseous twist in his stomach.

_Of course,_ he thought. Shion would have to turn him in now. He'd have to tell the king that he knew who had done it, if there was going to be any hope left for him.

Nezumi should have known. _This is what always happens._

_Yes, life always comes down to moments like this._ Nezumi thought as Shion trembled before the king's gaze.

_Always forcing people…_

"I…" Shion stammered, he tried to take a steady breath.

_To give up…_

"Your majesty…"

_On foolish promises._

Shion let out a breath.

Suddenly, the white haired prince raised his head, and all the tension and nerves seemed to go out of him as he stared up at the King.

Nezumi couldn't see his face, but his shoulders straightened.

"I'm sorry," Shion said, in a soft, clear voice. Nezumi closed his eyes.

"There's nothing."

Nezumi's eyes flew wide.

The king scowled. "Then you take full responsibility for your failure?"

Shion nodded, "I do."

Nezumi's stomach lurched.

_No…_

"Do you know what this will mean for you, Shion?" The kings eyes were piercing as he stared down at his step son.

"I do," Shion's voice didn't shake anymore. It was peaceful, like a breath.

Nezumi clutched a hand over his mouth to keep from getting sick.

"Very well then," the king said, and the Queen— who Nezumi hadn't noticed until then— started to cry from somewhere in the room.

Nezumi tried to breath evenly, but his mind was whirling.

_People only protect themselves. How long have I been telling myself those words?_

_A person like Shion… like he has always been…. who is willing to help…_

"In that case, I, as king, officially decree…"

_Shion… I didn't think a person like you…_

"As the punishment of his crimes…"

_Was supposed to exist._

"Prince Shion, beginning tomorrow at dawn, is officially banished to live in the West District."

_Because you're too kind,_

"He will be given no quarter, no mercy,"

_…and too brave…_

"If he is ever found in the kingdom borders again, he will be immediately put to death."

_…for such a spoiled child._

"This is the decision of the King."

_Shion…_

Shion bowed respectfully, "Goodbye then," He looked at his mother.

"I'll miss you both."

_…why you are different…._

The queen sobbed, and had to be held back from running to Shion, by the guards, as Shion turned around had headed for the doors.

_…than everybody else?_

When Shion walked through the doors of the throne room, his eyes immediately widened in shock at seeing Nezumi there.

"Nezumi?" He demanded, "What are you doing?"

Nezumi raised his head, pushing off the wall without looking in Shion's direction.

He stood there for a second, as part of him seemed to settle into a new and uneasy place inside of him.

Nezumi took a deep breath. "I'm coming with you."

Shion's eyes widened. "What?"

Nezumi looked at him sharply. "You heard me."

Shion gaped at him. Then slowly, his expression crumpled,

"I don't want you to give up anything for me." Shion said, his voice low; full of guilt and worry.

Nezumi's frown deepened. _This child…_

"What a thing for you to say now," Nezumi grumbled, striding forward so his back was to Shion. "What a hypocrite."

Shion blinked, "What do you mean?"

Nezumi sighed.

"I know what I'm doing," The actor said finally, half glancing over his shoulder. "Don't worry about me. Just… do you want me to come or not?"

Shion stared for a long moment, then he smiled.

"I'll always want you," Shion said with a sort of sad conviction. "If it's what you want too, Nezumi."

"Then it's settled," Nezumi said briskly. "Come on. We've got a lot to do if we want to reach the West District by dawn."

Shion nodded, "Okay,"

He ran to catch up to Nezumi as the dark-haired boy strode down the hall. _When he ran,_ Nezumi thought, _he looked so young._ Nezumi watched him out of the corner of his eye, never breaking pace, and when Shion caught up to him— and smiled up into his face— Nezumi sighed.

Shion blinked. "What?"

"You're impossible," Nezumi replied tersely, tugging his scarf up over his face. But beneath the rough fabric, his cheeks were colored.

_What am_ _I_ _doing? Shion…_


	9. The Desolate and The Resolute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shion and Nezumi leave for the West District

"Please be conservative," Nezumi instructed as Shion fretted over what to pack. "If you can't handle carrying it on you're back for 24 hours a day, don't bring it."

Shion shot him a somewhat panicked look at that description and Nezumi dug the heel of his hand into his forehead.

"Ok… don't bring it unless you think I could handle carrying it. Not because I'm going to, but because I think you need to challenge your self."

Shion glared at him.

"Can't you just tell me what's important?"

"No." Nezumi stuck his hands in the pockets of his coat. "If there's something I deem vital that you leave behind I'll grab it myself. But no one but you knows what you can't live without."

Shion blinked curiously, "Wait, isn't that stuff like water–,"

Nezumi threw a pillow at him to cut him off.

"For such a sentimental creature you are terminally literal." Nezumi griped.

It took until nearly sundown, but Shion finally settled on taking some of his healing equipment, the most livable clothing from his closet, a box that jangled with what was inside that he didn't explain to Nezumi, and a few other odds and ends from around his room.

Then he turned to his book shelf.

An deep sadness spread over Shion's face as he looked at them all, and Nezumi echoed the sentiment. He had enjoyed having access to so many books. It wasn't common, especially for the poor and those who travel as perpetually as he did.

"You can choose one," Nezumi told him cautiously. "Sorry, but any more will just weigh you down. But one should be a mild enough weight."

Shion glanced at him, then back at the bookshelf. Nezumi prepared a sigh, expecting another batch of hours to pass waiting for Shion to decide, but Shion strode straight for the shelf and grabbed a single book from among the others and slipped it into his bag.

"All right,"Shion said, looking around the room with weary eyes. "I'm ready."

Nezumi watched him, adjusting his own bag that was slung around his back. A sympathy bloomed inside of him that he didn't totally appreciate.

"I'm sorry, Shion." Nezumi offered, a little gruffly. "For all of this."

As Nezumi said the words, guilt pieced him. It was his fault, wasn't it? What was happening to Shion? He had dragged him into all of this.

Shion shook his head.

"Do you remember when we were children," Shion began, looking towards the balcony, and the view, and sighing, "When you asked me if I was the prince?"

Nezumi thought back, keeping his eyes on Shion the entire time.

"You said, you weren't raised for being the prince." Nezumi said, recalling the almost desperate pleading that had been in Shion's voice back then. A pleading for him to understand.

"I've been poor before." Shion said, "Nothing like the west district, and not on my own, but…" He took a deep breath. "I'm not more accustomed to this life than that one. Not yet."

Nezumi looked away. "That's good then, I suppose," he said, not entirely with confidence. "Hopefully that will help over the next few days."

Nezumi shifted the weight of his bag and adjusted himself to make sure he had everything. "All right, we should get going–,"

"Wait."

Nezumi looked and Shion was staring at him, a surprising steadiness in his eyes.

"What now?" Nezumi demanded.

Shion's expression tightened, "I want to know why you are coming with me."

Nezumi felt his chest harden like stone.

Shion's eyes were firm and piercing in the way they watched him, like he was trying to look into Nezumi's mind.

Nezumi coughed uncomfortably. "That's a little naive to ask isn't? Whatever background you have, the West District–,"

"No." Nezumi watched the boy's eyes narrow. "I don't want to hear why you think I need you, that's obvious." Shion said firmly. "I want to hear why this is what you want. And if you can't give me an answer, then I'm making you stay here."

"Making me?" Nezumi demanded in fury, and Shion sighed.

"You should know why I'm doing this Nezumi," Shion said, with an aged sadness that didn't fit with the youth of his face. "I've seen it in your eyes ever since my step father gave the order."

"You feel guilty," Shion said, his expression softening. "Somehow, you think this is your fault."

Nezumi glared but said nothing.

Shion nodded his head as if he'd gotten his answer.

"Is that's the only reason you're coming?" Shion asked, his voice full of something sad that Nezumi couldn't totally place. "Because, if so, you're being selfish."

Nezumi was affronted. "Selfish?"

Shion nodded his head.

"If you do something kind for me out of guilt then you're doing it to make yourself feel better," Shion said, his expression tired and his voice light, "and I don't want you with me if that's all this is. Because…" Shion smiled wistfully, "Because I love you, and in the end, I'm selfish too. I don't want to live, day in and day out, with the person I love if all I'm doing is making you hate me."

Nezumi stared at Shion as he spoke, felling like he might be getting dizzy. Damn this chid. Why did he have to constantly put Nezumi into positions like this.

"You want me to tell you I'm doing this for you?" Nezumi asked, his expression set in stone. "As some show of love for you?"

Shion's eyes darkened.

"I want you to tell me you're doing it for you." Shion replied, "Because you'll be happier in the West District with me then you will be if you stay here."

Nezumi made a harsh snorting noise. "Well then I have something you should hear, Shion."

Nezumi walked straight up to Shion, and grabbed him roughly by the chin so they were looking in each other's eyes. Shion set his jaw stubbornly, but Nezumi only gripped him tighter as he whispered. "No one is happy in The West District."

Shion's eyes widened.

Nezumi laughed coldly, "Oh, the boy playing the man. You want to know what Shion? I'll tell you one reason why I'm doing this," He brought his lips to Shion's ear. "Because you can't stop me."

Then he left go of Shion and strode off towards the door.

"Nezumi," Shion called, without moving or turning around. He heard Nezumi stop walking, but that was the only response he got.

"I wasn't really trying to stop you." Shion said.

A moment later, Nezumi was walking again, and Shion heard him open the door.

"Oh!" A startled female voice spoke out in surprise. And Shion whirled around.

"I was just about to knock," Shion's mother was saying, looking past Nezumi to Shion and then back at Nezumi again. "I came to see my son."

"I didn't think he'd let you say goodbye," Shion said from where he stood, looking wide-eyed at his mother.

"It took some convincing," Karen said, offering him a thin miserable smile. That's when Shion noticed the indents of teeth barely visible above his mother's collar bone. Shion's stomach gave a nauseous lurch.

Nezumi stepped aside to let Karen walk passed him and into the room, then he looked at Shion. His expression had softened some.

"I'll wait outside the door." Nezumi said, "Be ready to leave when you come out."

Nezumi shut the door behind him as he stepped outside.

Karen watched the door shut and then turned to look at her son. There were already tears in her eyes.

"That boy…" she began, indicating Nezumi vaguely with a wave of her hand. "He's… more than just one of the actors… isn't he?"

Shion looked at the ground.

"I saw something in the way the two of you were looking at each other on your birthday." Karen said, folding her hands together against her skirts. "I didn't know what to think, or how you could possibly have met him before, but somehow I could tell that you had."

Shion listened to the rhythm of his own breathing, willing it to slow down. "Do you remember what I asked you about that night, before the party?"

Karen looked at Shion in surprise.

"So then," she asked, glancing at the door, "that boy is the one you meant?"

Shion nodded.

"So you love him." Karen smiled softy. "I understand. He's very beautiful, and he seems very strong." she looked at Shion. "He's decided to go with you?"

Shion nodded his head.

"That's good." Karen said. "If you trust him, and you love him, then maybe all of this is…" Karen's lips trembled as she started to cry. "Maybe all this is meant to be."

Shion's eyebrows pulled together in worry, "Mom."

He crossed the room and wrapped his mother in his arms, holding her against him as she started to sob.

"I-I-I tried to convince him to change his mind," she said, trembling against him. "but h-he is so sure of himself, so stubborn."

"It's all right." Shion told her, rubbing his hand up and down her back to try and calm her. "I'll be all right. I think, maybe, this is just how it had to be."

Karen gave into a fresh round of sobs.

"You know how much I love you don't you?" She asked, pulling back to look in Shion's eyes. "I'll be thinking of you every second, and if there is ever a way–"

"I know," Shion smiled, "I'll be doing the exact same."

"What's his name?" she asked suddenly, a fierceness in her eyes, "That boy you love."

Shion almost smiled as he said it. "His name is Nezumi."

"Promise me that he will keep you safe." Karen said, holding Shion by the arms like she was going to shake him. "Promise me I can trust him with my precious son."

Shion's eyes widened and he looked towards the door.

He pictured Nezumi's face, often so cold and so sharp. He remembered the feel of his long, thin fingers playing softly with his hair as he woke up, and the sharp light in those grey eyes when Shion had walked out of the throne room and was barely holding himself together from fear over what he had just fated himself to.

_"I'm coming with you."_

Shion felt a smile spread warm over his face.

"I promise you," Shion said, a calm certainty saturating his voice. "You can trust him."

Karen studied his face for a moment before slowly nodding her head. "Good." she whispered, pulling her hand back to cover her trembling mouth as tears welled in her eyes. "Good. Then my faith goes with you both."

* * *

 

The castle's doors were not very thick, Nezumi thought, as he sat with his back against the wall beside Shion's bedroom.

_"What's his name? That boy you love."_

He could hear the smile in Shion's voice.

_"His name is Nezumi."_

Nezumi shut his eyes, pulling his scarf up around his mouth.

This time the words didn't make him feel like a trapped bird anymore. Instead…. something warm started churning around in his chest.

And that was more frightening than anything.

The bedroom down clicked as it opened.

Nezumi opened his eyes and pushed himself onto his feet as Shion and his mother stepped into the hall.

Nezumi turned to look at them, and was instantly surprised as a short, thin woman threw her arms around his neck.

"Take care of him." Shion's mother whispered in Nezumi's ear, her voice steady and firm as her arms tightened to nearly a choke hold around Nezumi's neck. "And thank you."

When Karen released him, Nezumi blinked at her and the woman smiled, melting the chocolate color of her eyes.

"Good luck to you both," She said, looking between the two of them. "Be safe, and may you always have each other."

With that she leaned in quickly to give her son one last kiss on the cheek. Then she turned away, her hand already going to her mouth as she walked down the hall.

Nezumi felt slightly bewildered, and more than a little threatened as he watched he go.

"I get the feeling she'd kill me if you were to die." Nezumi confessed as he turned to Shion, the white-haired boy smiled.

"Is that the weight of your decision finally sinking in?" Shion asked, "Last chance to back out. After this, I'm never going to let you go."

Nezumi jerked his head away before he could blush.

"I've knew what I was doing from the start, you dim-wit. And stop being so embarrassing!"

Nezumi started to stride quickly down the hallway and Shion laughed as he jogged to catch up.

"Well I'm glad to hear it."

Nezumi tried to elbow him and narrowly missed. Shion laughed again.

"It's them!"

Nezumi looked up.

Two of the actors from his troop were standing in an adjacent hall as Nezumi and Shion passed, looking at them with wide eyes like they were zoo animals.

Nezumi looked away from them and kept walking.

One of them sniggered and leaned toward the other.

"Guess Eve really is the prince's whore."

Shion suddenly went still.

"Keep up–," Nezumi started to say. Then he noticed Shion was striding away toward the two actors.

Nezumi's eyes widened. "Shion don't!"

There was a terrible noise as Shion grabbed the one who had spoken by the shirt and threw him against a wall.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?"

"Shion!" Nezumi ran up to him and tore the white-haired boy off the actor's shirt as blood started running from the back of his head.

Shion turned wild eyes on Nezumi. "Why aren't you angry? Didn't you hear what he said?"

Nezumi's inhaled sharply. There were tears in Shion's eyes.

Nezumi gripped him more tightly by the arm.

"We have to go, Shion." he said firmly, half dragging the prince away. "Just let it go."

Shion quivered in Nezumi's grip.

When they were further down the hall Nezumi released Shion's arm and the boy walked more freely beside him, his eyes on the ground.

"Why did you protect them?" He asked after a while, when there were nearing the castle's front doors. "They were cruel and they were wrong about you. How could you let them insult you like that?"

"Because it doesn't matter to me," Nezumi answered easily. "I don't care about them anymore. Never really did, to be honest. So what does it matter what they said?"

"It was insulting!"

"It was words," Nezumi scolded. "So what if people around here want to think I'm a whore?"

Shion frowned, "But you didn't do anything to deserve it."

Nezumi snorted, "And when would I have deserved it? Look at what I got you into. If I had been screwing you, they really wouldn't be that far off about me."

Shion colored with an angry flush, "That's not how it is!"

"To you." Nezumi pointed out. "and that's all that matters. So ignore what others think."

Shion slouched grumpily as they continued to walk.

"It's not really fair you take so much responsibility in this." Shion said, finally. "I did as much as you to bring us here. I took things away from you too."

"Maybe you're right." Nezumi said as they walked, smiling wickedly. "But you're the air-headed prince. Who's going to hold you responsible for anything?"

Shion tried to smack him, but failed as Nezumi started running, laughing and dodging Shion's swipes at him until the two of them reached the road, and began their journey toward the border through the night.

* * *

 

The west district was a decrepit, and desolate slum that existed just passed the border where Seis met a tundra. There was only a one small stream that passed as the town's water source and fed it's wells, and the air was bitter day and night

Old buildings, that were slip-shod from the start and had been rotting ever since, stood like blackened, broken teeth that lined the narrow dirt paths that wound between them. Paths worn only by the passing of feet.

Still, there was some semblance of a town here. Determined hunters and farmers managed trade mostly buffalo meat and root plants to rest of the district in return for money or other goods. Pubs and inns had been formed by thieves who stole goods from the kingdom and whores who offered their warmth to the frozen.

There were few coins to go around here, but they went around. Otherwise, you mostly traded anything you had, any service you could provide, to those who could offer what you needed in return. That or you were one of the people stealing from the border towns and getting what you needed from the source.

It was only because of these thieves that people survived out here. Those who stole, even if they stole only cast-offs from the kingdom, could ask any price they liked. Not to mention there was always a risk, living among the desperate and the criminal.

That's what worried Nezumi the most.

"You're not to trust anyone but me, understand?" Nezumi instructed when they arrived, his eyes scanning the area with cutting vigilance.

"I understand." Shion agreed quickly, and Nezumi decided to look back at his face.

He expected Shion to look frightened, or horrified, maybe even disgusted. Yet, somehow, he didn't. Instead, his eyes were full of something solid and resolute, like he'd already steeled himself from the inside.

"Keep close to me." Nezumi continued instructing, "And listen to anything I tell you, when I tell you. There isn't room for mistakes out here."

Shion nodded easily, "Okay."

After they wound passed the center of the sparse, broken town, they found their way into one of the deeper cropping of smaller, more abandoned looking buildings.

Finally Shion asked. "Nezumi, where are we headed right now?"

Nezumi didn't look back. "You'll see."

About five minutes later they arrived at what appeared to be a caved-in shack, half hidden by other buildings that had been scorched black by some long passed fire.

Nezumi approached what looked to be the side, and began digging through a wealth of dirt that was trying to consume the ruins from below.

Shion watched him with interest as his fingers searched through the earth until something dingy and wooden-looking stuck out from beneath.

"Ah, here we go." Nezumi braced his fingers under the square of wood and began to lift.

Dirt poured off of it, revealing underneath a set of almost untouched cellar doors.

Shion blinked.

"This house was destroyed but the basement is still intact," Nezumi explained at Shion's questioning look. "I found this place last time I lived here."

He opened the doors and motioned for Shion to follow. "Watch your step."

The two boys ducked through the doors, and down a short flight of stairs. But when Nezumi closed the doors behind them, the room below became pitch black.

Shion stood still in the blind darkness, but he could hear Nezumi moving around as if unhindered by it. There was the creaking of something opening, followed by rustling. Shion heard a sound like two things grinding against each other, and sparks appeared in the air.

Next thing he knew a candle was glowing on the other side of the room.

It was literally a single room. Square, with wide walls and a surprisingly high ceiling for a cellar. There was a wardrobe type cupboard near where Nezumi was standing, and a table on the opposite wall. Then, in the center, there were two wide mattresses stacked on top of each other taking up most of the floor space, topped with a pile of thin blankets and a two nearly flat pillows.

"You lived here once?" Shion asked, oddly delighted by the information. Nezumi looked at him.

"For a little while." He admitted, and set the candle on the table.

"We should get some sleep." He continued, taking off his bag and setting it down near the wall. "It will be morning soon."

"Sure," Shion agreed, turning to do the same with his own. "I'll, umm–," He began shuffling around the floor.

"Just lay down on the bed Shion," Nezumi ordered, leading by example as he flopped down and folded his arm beneath his head. "There's nothing else to do now."

Shion blinked and slowly nodded. "All right."

He laid down beside Nezumi.

Even with both of them still wearing jackets, it was freezing.

Nezumi pulled the blankets over the two of them, then he rolled so that he was lying against Shion's back, one arm draped around the smaller boy's waist.

"It will be warmest this way, and safest." Nezumi explained, yawning. "This way neither of us could go missing without the other noticing."

"Go missing?" Shion repeated. Nezumi didn't respond.

Shion closed his eyes with a breath. It was hard to focus on anything but the mild panic that was slowly building inside his chest, but even with everything else going on, Shion had to admit, he blushed at the feeling of Nezumi's chest pressed against his back.

"Nezumi?" Shion asked quietly.

"Yeah?"

Shion bit his lip. "Do you remember what you said before, about us becoming enemies someday?"

Silence.

"Well," Shion cleared his throat. "Is that still what you think?"

There was more silence.

Maybe he's fallen asleep. Shion thought.

Then Nezumi moved.

Shion shuddered at the feeling of Nezumi's lips moving against the back of his neck. His skin was cold, but Nezumi's breath was still warm.

"I said that you would have to choose someday, Shion, and that would make us enemies." Nezumi corrected him. "I never imagined you'd be stupid enough to choose me."

Shion laughed in spite of himself. "I think you underestimated yourself."

"I think I underestimated you." Nezumi countered. "But I think I've always done that."

Shion blushed. "You don't normally say things like that."

Nezumi chuckled, "Don't I? And what exactly do you mean?"

"You aren't usually so nice." Shion confessed, wincing a little at his own choice of words. Nezumi laughed.

"I'm not usually nice? Hmm…" Nezumi's fingers toyed with Shion's jacket. "Perhaps I should make up for that a little."

Shion's breath very came out uneven as Nezumi moved, guiding Shion onto his back and shifting so that he was leaning over him. His hair falling against Shion's cheeks.

"What are you doing?" Shion asked in a tumbling voice, his eyes wide and frozen on the hungry light of Nezumi's.

"I'm cold, Shion." Nezumi whispered, his breath moving against Shion's skin like a warm touch. "Warm me up."

That's when Nezumi's leg moved to slide in between Shion's, and the dark haired boy leaned down to press his lips against Shion's neck, following a trail from the base toward his jaw.

Shion let out a soft noise, "Nezumi–,"

"Don't worry," the older boy spoke against Shion's skin, his tongue swiping quickly against the raised skin of his scar, making Shion whine softly. "I haven't forgotten what kissing means to you."

Nezumi's eyes danced as he leaned back to take off his jacket, unwinding his scarf as his silver eyes sparked in the dimness. "This is a promise."

Nezumi leaned back in, his lips finding Shion's and hands going to the button's of Shion's coat.

Shion eyes were wide for only a moment before they slipped closed and his hands reached for Nezumi, finding purchase in his hair and the curve of his neck. Shion moaned as he strained forward to deepen the kiss.

His hands found the tie of Nezumi's hair and he pulled it out so it rained down around him like a curtain and a silent chuckle vibrated through Nezumi's chest as he finally finished with the buttons of Shion's coat.

He pushed it off the boy's shoulders, panting as he pulled away to breath.

Nezumi ran a thumb over the scar on his cheek. "Open your mouth."

Shion did, and Nezumi surged forward to enter it, his tongue capturing Shion's and twining them together as if they were fighting.

Shion whimpered, threading his fingers through Nezumi hair and gripping at it desperately. Nezumi groaned.

"God dammit Shion." He panted, and Shion blinked up at him in concern.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No." Nezumi grinned at the innocent question. "Hair pulling is just kind of an aggressive behavior. Sort of a turn on of mine. Are you sure you're as innocent as you pretend to be?"

Shion flushed crimson. Turn on?

"You should be more careful." Nezumi warned, leaning in to lick the shell of Shion's ear. "If you keep this up, I might not be able to stop." he caught Shion's earlobe between his teeth.

Shion moaned, and then bit his lip in embarrassment.

_Stop?_ Shion repeated to himself, chewing on his lower lip.

Then one thought filled his head.

_Do I want him to?_


	10. Cold Things and What Keeps Us Warm

_Stop? Do_ I _want him to?_

Nezumi chuckled as Shion squirmed beneath his touch. "Don't worry, little prince." he said, with a grin, "I'm only teasing you."

"I'm not a prince anymore." Shion said, his tone surprisingly firm for how breathless he was. "And…"

Nezumi traced his nose up the side of Shion's throat. "And what?"

"What if I don't want you to?"

Nezumi froze.

"Don't want me to what?"

Shion took a deep, shuddering breath. "Stop."

Nezumi was silent. Then, he slowly pulled back to look Shion in the eyes, supporting himself on his hands.

He smiled, and his eyes were a brilliant silver, like nothing Shion had ever seen. They seemed to shine.

"If that's what you want, Shion…" Nezumi leaned down and flicked his tongue against Shion's scar making him squeeze his eyes shut as he let out a breath. "You're just going to have to seduce me."

Shion's eyes snapped open, and Nezumi's mouth had began to do devilish things against his throat.

Shion swallowed. "I-I d-don't–,"

Nezumi chuckled, "Are you really trying to say you don't know how?"

Shion blushed deeply and Nezumi laughed again.

"I suppose I can show you then," he said, fingers tracing a path over the buttons of Shion shirt, taunting him. "But you're going to have to pay close attention."

Shion bit his lip in an attempt not to make as sound as Nezumi started kissing down his neck again, nipping and sucking in places that made Shion's blood race. When Nezumi reached his collar his hand moved up to the top buttons of Shion's shirt, but he didn't open them. Instead he leaned back.

His eyes narrowed.

"First lesson of seduction." Nezumi said as he leaned in and captured Shion's bitten mouth, pulling the lip from between Shion's teeth with his own and then running his tongue over it as if to sooth.

Nezumi leaned toward Shion's ear and said, "I want to hear you scream."

Shion shivered and Nezumi chuckled, pulling back so that he was kneeling on either side of Shion's hips, straddling him as he toyed with the collar of his shirt. "Second lesson, the right way to take off a shirt."

"Wait," Shion blushed and couldn't look Nezumi in the eye but forced himself to continue speaking. "I feel like… should I be doing more? I want you to feel good too, Nezumi."

Nezumi's eyebrows rose in surprise, and then he snorted and started to laugh.

"You want a hands on lesson then?" He teased, light dancing in his eyes. "I'm not sure you'll be able to keep up that quickly."

Shion blushed. "Can't I at least try?" he asked, cheeks turning bright red. It made Nezumi smile.

"All right, little–," Nezumi was cut off by Shion's fingers to his lips.

"I'm not a prince anymore," Shion reminded him again, his eye sharp and serious. "You can stop calling me that."

Nezumi smiled under his touch.

"Why does it bother you so much?" Nezumi asked as he took Shion's hand away from his lips, playing with the boy's fingers between his own.

Shion shook his head, "It just does."

Nezumi shrugged, "I guess I could find another way to tease you, if you really care so much."

Shion frowned, "Do you have to tease me at all?"

Nezumi grinned, and shoved Shion's shoulder until they were both horizontal and Nezumi slid his leg up to rub up against Shion's crotch.

Shion moaned, half in shock at the feeling and Nezumi chuckled.

"Yes, Shion. I have to tease you." he said, and his hand slid up under Shion's shirt.

Shion blushed and squirmed helpless for a moment under the torment of Nezumi's hand before he could gather his determination again.

I'm not going to be swept up, he chided himself taking a deep breath before reaching up to grab Nezumi's shoulders.

The darker boy paused, "Shion, what are you–,"

That's when Shion threw his weight into rolling them over.

When Shion landed on top of Nezumi, there was a brief moment where Nezumi looked blankly surprised before he blinking and searching Shion's eyes. He raised an eyebrow.

"That was a bold move," Nezumi noted his hair splaying around his head like streams of dark ink. "What are you going to do now?"

Shion tried not to lose his nerve as he leaned forward and started kissing Nezumi's neck the way Nezumi had done for him. His hands shook slightly as he reached for his own shirt and started undoing the buttons.

By the time Shion had kissed down to Nezumi collarbone, his shirt was hanging open around his chest and he leaned back to shrug it off his shoulders and drop it to the side of the bed.

Nezumi stared up at him with interest, and grinned.

"I'll give you a B." Nezumi teased, reaching to run a hand up Shion's smooth, pale stomach; still wrapped by his read snake. "You had the right idea, but you lose points on originality."

Shion frowned. "Fine! You want me to be more original?"

Shion shifted so that he was sitting across Nezumi's lap before he reached down and pulled Nezumi into a seated position with him. Then he guided Nezumi's arms around his own back as he leaned forward to kiss him, wrapping his arms around Nezumi's neck and sliding himself forward until his hips ground into Nezumi's.

Nezumi groaned against Shion's mouth.

"Better," the young actor panted when they broke for air. "but let me show you how it's done."

Nezumi reached down and pulled his shirt off over his head, shaking out his hair as he threw it somewhere in the room. Then he wrapped one arm around Shion's back and kissed a trail along Shion's scar, sliding his tongue across it where he could, and tracing it with his fingers everywhere else. Shion shivered at the feeling of it, the skin of his scar feeling almost like raw nerves as Nezumi touched him. Then Nezumi's mouth captured something else.

Shion cried out softly as Nezumi's tongue circled his nipple while his fingers tweaked the other, making Shion jerk. The violent movement causing their crotches to grid together.

Nezumi groaned. "God, Shion."

Shion was panting, his mind feeling foggy as he looked at Nezumi with hazy eyes. He slid his hand up the young actors neck and captured his lips again.

Nezumi leaned eagerly into the kiss.

"Shion," Nezumi breathed when they parted, "I'm sorry–, I wasn't expecting…" Nezumi swallowed as he met Shion's eyes. "I don't know if I'm going to be able to take this as easy as I was planning. Not if we keep going. And it's still your first time so I think maybe…" Nezumi sighed. "If we're going to stop we should do it now."

Shion blinked his haze away in shock. "But Nezumi I'm fine!"

"You can't say that," Nezumi disagreed, "It's going to hurt Shion. You haven't experience that. You don't know."

Shion grabbed Nezumi by the chin and made the boy look at him.

"I love you." Shion said, simply and without hesitation, making Nezumi's eyes widen. "I want this, and I need you. I have no idea what's going to happen for the rest of my life, but I want to be with you. So unless you honestly don't want this, please, please make love to me. Because no there's no one else who I could ever love like this. There's no one else for me but you."

Nezumi sucked in a breath.

There was still a part of him that heard those word and felt them like a lead weight in the pit of his stomach– still a part of him that wanted to run.

But the rest of him…

"Fuck, Shion." Nezumi groaned, pulling Shion down so he could lean their foreheads together, his fingers playing with the fine hairs at the nape of Shion's neck. "I hope you know what you're doing. Because I just can't fight you anymore."

And that's when Nezumi shoved Shion down on the bed, and started kissing him– with tongue and teeth and hopeless abandon– like the sun wasn't going to rise.

Shion moaned, and Nezumi swallowed it with starving kisses he'd been suppressing for way too long, his hand roaming greedily over smooth white skin, tracing the shape of Shion's waist, and legs, and rubbing patterns into the bones of Shion's hips until the boy was bucking into him and had to be held down before Nezumi really lost it.

When he'd thoroughly devoured Shion's mouth, his hungry lips lowered to the rest of Shion's body. Sucking against the soft, warm skin until dark bruises formed beneath his mouth. Shion moaned.

"You had better hope there's never going to be anyone else, Shion." Nezumi breathed in the pale boy's ear. "Because you're going to be mine. And I'm not going to let anyone take you away from me."

Shion shivered, and on his cheek where Nezumi wouldn't see, a single tear slid down his face.

Those words… Nezumi had never said something like that to him before, never promised that he wouldn't leave. Shion wasn't sure he'd ever felt happier than this, as his hands flattened over Nezumi's back and pulled the boy closer to him.

"I'm yours, Nezumi." He whispered in the dark boy's ear. "I always was."

Nezumi shivered, and then kissed Shion hard enough to bruise.

Nezumi felt it, he thought Shion might have felt it too. The wall that Nezumi had built between them fracturing and falling to pieces.

The dark haired actor didn't like to admit it, but it had always been cracked from the start– and Shion had been taking blows to it with every innocent act of devotion he'd shown Nezumi since the day they met.

And now… with that kind, innocent boy looking at him, saying all these things…There was nothing Nezumi could have done to keep the wall standing.

Shion kissed Nezumi back fiercely, letting all the doubt and nerves of the past few weeks melt away between their lips. Then he reached down and started undoing his pants.

Nezumi froze and moved back to look at him.

"In a hurry?" he asked, grinning at him as he stroked his thumb against Shion's scar.

Shion looked up at him persistently. "I don't want you to change your mind."

Nezumi laughed.

"That's not going to happen, Shion." the dark haired promised, leaning down to favor kisses on Shion's jaw. "Do you have any idea how badly I want this?"

Shion shook his head. "But I–,"

Nezumi shushed him, taking Shion's hand and placing it against the hard bulge in his own pants, making Shion's eyes widen in shock.

"I want this," Nezumi promised, grinning at Shion's bright cheeks. "You don't have to worry about if it's going to happen."

"But I need you," Shion pleaded. "Please."

Nezumi smiled warmly.

"All right," He agreed, "But we're still taking this slow, and we're doing it my way, got it? You aren't ready to go too fast."

Shion nodded quickly.

Nezumi reached for the waist of Shion's pants and smiled. "Good."

It didn't take long before the two of them were stripped bare, the cold air around them forcing them to tangle tightly together against the frost.

Nezumi seemed set in what he was doing, though, as he slowly spread Shion's legs apart.

"You were right," He noted, eyeing Shion's excited length. "You do look needy."

Shion turned crimson down to his toes.

Nezumi chuckled, "Shion, I'm going to need you to do something for me."

Shion blinked, "What is it?"

Nezumi reached up three fingers and tapped them against Shion's chin.

His eyes gleamed. "Suck."

Shion felt a little embarrassed and overly watched as he opened his mouth and accepted Nezumi's fingers. But when he saw the way Nezumi's eyelids lowered as he began to suck on them, he became instantly determined this was an opportunity to impress him.

Shion tried to do his best with the things he had picked up from Nezumi as he slid his tongue lithely around the fingers– sucking on them harder when he noticed Nezumi's eyes start to darken.

He thought he must have done something right, because when Nezumi finally said. "that's enough," his voice came out rougher than it had been before.

"This isn't going to feel good at first." Nezumi warned a moment before he even touched the boy he had laid out beneath him. He spread Shion's legs apart as he moved in between them, making Shion squeeze his eyes shut. "If it starts to really hurt, tell me and I'll stop, okay?"

Shion nodded.

"Good," Nezumi let out a breath. "Now, Shion, just relax."

Shion tried to take a few deep breaths, and Nezumi used his free hand to trace soothing patterns against Shion's inner thigh as he slowly inserted a finger inside.

Shion tensed. It felt strange and intrusive, but not really like pain. Just certainly not enjoyable.

Nezumi leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Relax Shion. It'll make it worse if you don't. Please, just concentrate on something else."

Shion shook his head. "I can't think of anything."

Nezumi chuckled, "Then concentrate on this," Nezumi suggested, and his head dipped between Shion's legs.

Shion cried out as he felt Nezumi's hot, wet tongue sliding up his length, slowly from base to tip, making Shion's stomach seem to tremble.

He wanted to buck his hips but Nezumi held him down firmly with his free hand as his finger worked itself in and out– his tongue busy circling Shion's tip.

"Nezumi," Shion groaned, screwing his eyes shut and panting. He could feel Nezumi laugh against him and it only made it feel better.

That's when Nezumi wrapped his mouth around him, and inserted a second finger.

Shion shouted.

He felt like he was going to explode from the mixture of feelings that were crawling up and down his spine. His body shook from the effort of not moving when every part of him was screaming at him to do SOMETHING, he just didn't know what.

Nezumi's mouth made his stomach clench hard inside of him as he gave a hard suck around his length.

"Nezumi!" Shion was almost beyond noticing anything but Nezumi by the time the dark boy started stretching him– adding a third finger. The things the actor could do with his mouth far out-weighing the pain.

However, after a while Shion started noticing that what Nezumi was doing inside of him didn't hurt anymore. In fact, it was also contributing to the whatever hot coiling thing had built up in his stomach.

The odd thing was that– as distracted as Shion was– he thought that Nezumi seemed to be moving his fingers distinctly inside of him, like he was looking for something. And had Shion not been being driven near out of his mind by the feeling of the actor's tongue sliding along the underside of his length, he might have been more curious.

When Nezumi did find what he was looking for, though, Shion completely unraveled.

"Nezumi!" Shion shouted, not prepared for what was going to happen as the coil burst inside of him and white shined behind his eyes. Nezumi must have somehow anticipated it though, because he didn't seem at all surprised as Shion released inside his mouth and he swallowed it down carefully, to avoid it causing him to choke.

"You're very sensitive," Nezumi commented a moment later as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Have you ever even touched yourself before?"

Shion flushed dark red and couldn't look him in the eye.

Nezumi laughed. "I didn't think so."

"I'm sorry–," Shion started to say and Nezumi hushed him before he could finish.

"Don't be. I'll take it as a compliment to my skills," Nezumi said, giving Shion a wink. "But it might mean you won't have enough stamina for the rest."

"No!" Shion protested. Propping himself up on his hands. "I'll be fine, I still want to."

Nezumi grinned, "I appreciate the enthusiasm, but there is a bit of science behind it, kid."

"I know that." Shion protested, "but I'll be fine in a few minutes, just." Shion pressed his lips together for a moment in thought. "Teach me how to do what you did. I can do the same thing for you."

Nezumi's eyes darkened at the thought of innocent Shion in such a compromising position, but he quickly shook his head.

"Shion you don't have to–,"

Before Nezumi could even finished Shion was pushing him down on the bed.

"I want to," Shion insisted, his cheeks turning red, but the rest of him was steady as he leaned down, spreading Nezumi's legs in front of him.

Nezumi swallowed. Who the hell is this kid?

It was sloppy, and it was untrained, but Nezumi had to admit. He was pressing his lips together to keep from moaning as he felt Shion's tongue tracing up the side of his erection.

"Fuck, Shion." Nezumi groaned. "What do you think you're doing?"

Shion didn't answer. His mouth was too busy wrapping around Nezumi the way he had seen him do, lowering his mouth over the other boy's length.

He wasn't skilled enough to go as low as Nezumi did, but he still created a slick, hot pressure around the top of it. Nezumi arched.

Maybe it was just because it was Shion, and there was something extremely seductive about the way he seemed to put his full determination into everything–even when it was vastly out of his depth– but Nezumi had to admit how unraveled he was becoming as the kid stumbled his way through giving him a blow job. He had to fist his hands in the sheets to keep from bucking and making the poor kid choke.

After a while though, Nezumi finally groaned, "That's enough, Shion. I need you. Now. You can stop."

Shion pulled back and his bright red eyes made contact with Nezumi's in the dark. Nezumi took the opportunity to lean forward and reclaim the top position as he bore Shion back on the bed and spread his legs before him again.

To Nezumi's surprise, Shion did seemed to have perked up already.

Nezumi slid his fingers back in Shion for just a moment, quickly prepping him again before leaning over and looking him in the eye. "Are you ready Shion?"

Shion swallowed and took a deep breath. "I'm ready."

Nezumi nodded.

"Tell me if it starts to hurt too badly." Nezumi warned, and Shion nodded his head.

Nezumi's hands slid down Shion's body to hold him by the hips as he lined himself up in front of Shion's entrance. He tried not to let his desperate anticipation show as he looked Shion in the eyes.

Nezumi pressed his lips against the lighter boy's neck as he slowly pushed forward and entered him.

He could feel it as Shion tensed. His hands on Nezumi's shoulders digging in, almost until it hurt.

Shion made a soft sound of pain. "Nezumi…"

"I know, I'm sorry," the actor murmured in the other boy's ear. His thumbs rubbing circles on his hip bones to sooth him. He kissed Shion on the forehead. "Only a little further."

Shion writhed, trying hard to relax his muscles as Nezumi slowly continued forward until all of him was sheathed inside of Shion. Then he stopped and waited.

A few stray tears ran down Shion's face and Nezumi wiped them away, kissing him on the forehead and the jaw, brushing his fingers gently through Shion's hair and across his cheeks.

Slowly, Shion began to adjust.

"It's okay, Nezumi" Shion said gently. "I think I'm all right now."

Nezumi watched him carefully. "Are you sure?"

Shion nodded, running his fingers through Nezumi's hair. "I think I'd feel even better if you kissed me though."

Nezumi's eyes widened slightly, and his cheeks colored as he looked away from Shion's eyes.

But a moment later, he pulled Shion to him for a kiss.

Nezumi continued kissing him as he hips began to move, pulling partly out and moving back in, going carefully at first and than faster as Shion made soft noises of pleasure against his mouth.

Before long their pace had quickened, and Nezumi was barely clinging to his sanity as he plunged in and out of Shion, his tongue sweeping through the boy's mouth and his fingers going to the boy's chest to toy with his nipples.

Shion moaned.

"Nezumi!" He cried, arching up so the bare skin of their torsos slid together. Nezumi had begun kissing passionately down Shion's neck. Leaving love bites and dark marks all over his pure white skin.

"Feels so good…" Shion found himself groaning, knowing he probably sounded ridiculous but not really caring. He had never felt like this. Not just the physical pleasure, but the feeling of having Nezumi inside him, and wrapped around him, like they were completely melting into each other.

He felt so close it him. And the realization almost made him want to cry.

Being loved by him… this is all I've ever wanted.

Their pace had picked up, and Shion could hear Nezumi breathing hard, making noises that sent hot shivers down Shion's spine and made his stomach clench tighter.

When he felt Nezumi hit that spot inside of him again, he almost lost it completely.

"Nezumi!" Shion shouted, arching up and clinging to him.

Nezumi groaned too, his breath hot on Shion's neck as he picked up the pace.

"God, Shion." He groaned, moving fast and sliding his tongue against Shion's scar around his neck. "I'm so close…"

Shion didn't have to have Nezumi explain what he meant. He could feel it for himself. And as the actor began to move even faster and harder inside of him, Shion gripped tightly to the other boy's shoulders.

"I love you, Nezumi." Shion cried and then the two of them fell over the edge.

When Shion found himself again, after the pleasant haze had receded, he became at first aware that we was cold, and his body was sticky. But somehow he couldn't find the strength in his tingling limbs to care.

The next thing he became aware of was Nezumi's arms around him, and him lying at his side.

The panting boy opened his gleaming gunmetal eyes and deep, churning emotion, that the white haired boy felt he couldn't totally comprehend, swam around inside their depths.

Nezumi reached up and ran his fingers through Shion's hair.

"I really do love this hair," He murmured, stroking it gently with his hand. "It's like down feathers."

Shion blushed.

"Are you okay?" Nezumi asked a moment later, his eyes seeming to calm as they looked back into Shion's.

The white haired boy smiled. "I'm perfect, Nezumi."

Nezumi half smiled in return.

"We had better get some sleep," he murmured. "It has to be dawn by now, and there will be things to get done if we're going to live out here."

Shion nodded his head. "All right."

Nezumi shifted, reaching down to pull the pile of blankets up over them, grabbing all their discarded articles of clothing and their coats and piling those on top of them too, just for good measure. Then he laid back down and pulled Shion against him– laying the boy's head against his chest.

Shion wrapped his arms around Nezumi, nuzzling into his neck. "Goodnight, Nezumi."

Nezumi was silent for a moment, then he leaned down and gave Shion a long kiss on the top of his head.

"Goodnight, Shion."

Shion felt himself smiling.

He knew that Nezumi hadn't said much in the way of devotion to him that night, but somehow Shion could still sense it.

A shift in the air.

He was certain things had changed; that Nezumi had changed, and he was no longer afraid for the reasons Nezumi had for following him out here.

He knew now that Nezumi didn't express his feelings like everyone else. Even still, Shion had seen the changes. In his actions, and the words he used… in how much of himself he let show through the hard layer he kept around himself on the outside.

That's how you knew how Nezumi felt. And Shion knew.

Nezumi loved him. Just as Shion loved Nezumi.

And maybe now he didn't have to be afraid of losing him after all.


	11. Things Wanted and Things Needed

The next morning when Shion woke up, Nezumi was still asleep.

Shion's eye widened.

He'd never seen Nezumi asleep before, aside from when he'd passed out because of his wounds. He was always last to go to bed and first to rise, sometimes to the point where he was sitting around dressed for the day by the time Shion opened his eyes.

But this time…

Did he just get worn out last night? Shion wondered, his eyes intently studying the smooth, vulnerable expression on Nezumi's face like he could memorize it. It made Nezumi look so much less cold, so much softer. When he was like this, it was peaceful, and all the beauty came out in his face.

He's so beautiful, Shion thought, his eyes tracing the thick dark lashes against Nezumi's cheek and the curves of his cheekbones under his smooth, cream skin. It was almost heart-breaking.

I may be asking to much of him though, Shion thought, noticing the dark circles under Nezumi's eyes. Nezumi always seemed so strong, but Shion had always worried. He doubted Nezumi would ever say it if Shion was pushing him too hard. He was never that vulnerable.

And it was cold. Shion shivered, trying to tuck himself further under their pile of fabric and closer to Nezumi's warmth. This wasn't good either. It would be too easy for someone to fall ill out here, and Shion was more worried about Nezumi than himself; if only because Nezumi would never let an illness stop him. At least not until it had him laid out and delirious. Shion gnawed his lip at the thought.

But I'll take care of him. Shion vowed, a warmth pooling in his chest as he looked at Nezumi's face again. Just then, Nezumi's eyelids began to stir.

* * *

 

Nezumi was barely awake when he felt something warm against his lips.

He gave a soft grumble, and then there was also something warm sliding against his chest.

It was ridiculously cold everywhere else, aside from whatever warm things were touching him. The effect raised goosebumps on his skin.

Nezumi blinked open his eyes.

Then his body tensed like spring.

If he hadn't caught a glimpse of white hair, their was a chance Shion might have found himself injured that morning. Nezumi wasn't used to having his guard down when it came to people touching him in his sleep.

As it was, Nezumi felt a whole different kind of tension as memories of the night before slowly bled into his mind.

_And he wakes me up by kissing me,_ Nezumi thought feeling Shion's soft lips move against his own, while he still pretended to be partly asleep. Nezumi tried not to blush. _This is going to take some getting used to…but if he wants some morning affection…_

Nezumi smiled, swiping his tongue against Shion's lip as he leaned into the kiss. Shion made a soft noise, shifting as if about to pull away, but Nezumi was quicker; rolling over until he was straddling Shion and slipping his tongue into Shion's mouth with the help of gravity. His hand slid up the curve of Shion's throat.

Shion whimpered softly, his hands finding their way to Nezumi's waist, pulling him closer. Nezumi smiled.

"You know," Nezumi breathed leaning closer to Shion's ear when they broke for air. "You should be a bit more careful when you go kissing me, Shion. I'm not always this nice in the morning."

"I couldn't resist," Shion panted, and when Nezumi pulled back Shion was looking at him with hooded eyes. Nezumi smiled.

"Hmmm…" Nezumi hummed leaning back in to glide his nose along Shion's neck. "I suppose I can relate to that."

Shion whined, "Nezumi, I still want you."

Nezumi grinned, "Still huh?" He whispered, his breath tickling Shion's skin. "Did you expect it to go away so easily?"

Shion shook his head. "I don't know what to expect. I've never felt like this before."

"Mmmm," Nezumi agreed, "Neither have I." Nezumi's hot lips replaced his nuzzling as he began kissing a trail down Shion's neck, making the white haired boy squirm.

Shion let out a breath, "Nezumi, you're not really discouraging me from waking you up by kissing you."

"Maybe I'm not trying to." Nezumi's tongue slid against Shion's collarbone and then he nipped at it. Shion moaned.

"You're different," Shion murmured as Nezumi's hand started to run up and down his side. "Than before."

Nezumi chuckled, "Well," the actor's mouth found it's way to Shion's ear. "Sex changes things, Shion." and he tugged Shion's earlobe with his teeth.

Shion panted.

He didn't think that was completely it. Nezumi had never felt so close before, and not just physically. It was like Shion could see into Nezumi better than he ever had. That more of what was inside of him seemed to be shining through the mask of darkness and anger that had always been clouding him before. It made Shion want to pull even harder, until he had dragged Nezumi out of the darkness completely, could hold him as he truly was against his chest.

But Nezumi seemed to have other ideas about Shion's chest.

Shion gave a shout. "Nezumi!"

The actor chuckled, laying salving licks over the nipple he'd just nipped and tugged, making Shion flush with heat long before Nezumi mouth deigned to stray any lower.

"Nezumi, why do I alway end up on the bottom like this?"

The actor snorted, a little too dubiously for Shion's liking. "Because it's the natural order of things Shion." Nezumi began, punctuating his words with ever-lower kisses between each one. "A law of opposites. One person is the submissive and the other is dominating. You don't have what it takes to dominate me."

Shion frowned, "You would never give me a chance!"

Nezumi laughed. "It's exactly that kind of mind set that makes you submissive, Shion." Nezumi pointed out with a smirk, "But don't worry…"

Nezumi tongue gave a pointed lick to the crease right above Shion's hips and the white-haired yelped in pleasure, making Nezumi have to hold his hips down to keep him from bucking.

Nezumi winked, "You're submissive side is sexy as hell."

Shion flushed all the way down to his toes.

"Are we…" Shion didn't know quite how to frame the question, "I mean… again? Right now?"

"Hmmm…." Nezumi's deft fingers drew patterns over Shion's skin, raising goosebumps on his arms. "That depends. Are you sore?"

For some reason this question made a strange sensation run through Shion's spine. He was a little sore, but that seemed blindingly insignificant next to the opportunity of having Nezumi continue to touch him. To feeling that pleasant heat that was coiling in his stomach.

Shion shook his head. "Not really."

Nezumi raised an eyebrow, and suddenly his fingers moved somewhere Shion couldn't see.

"AH!" Shion shouted in pain and then clamped his hand over his mouth, but Nezumi was already shaking his head.

"Sorry kid, that's a no. But you really shouldn't take it so hard. It's not something I would suggest to anyone the morning after their first time."

Shion gave a sort of pout. "But I want you so much."

Nezumi tried to cover the way that made a blush spread over his cheeks and a flash of heat run down to his groin.

"That's flattering, little prince." Nezumi said a little bit gruffly, "But I'm afraid I need you to be able to walk."

Shion's disappointment was enough that he didn't even hardly notice the dreaded nickname. And at the look on Shion's face, Nezumi gave a sigh.

"But," The actor continued rubbing the back of his neck in something like embarrassment. "We can do… other things…"

Shion looked at him with wide eyes. "What do you mean?"

Nezumi smiled, "I mean exactly what we probably should have used as a stepping stone long before I jumped your bones last night."

And suddenly Nezumi's hand closed around Shion's length.

Shion sucked in a breath like he was hissing. "Nezumi, what are you doing?"

"You're so sensitive, Shion." Nezumi said as he lowered his eyelids. The gesture seemed to change the fundamental color of his eyes to something deeper than before. "You're already so hard for me."

Shion squirmed desperately, giving quiet needy whimpers. "I told you that I wanted you."

Nezumi grinned, "I love how straight forward you are, Shion. It's such a damn turn on."

Then the actor captured Shion's lips as his fingers moved very pointedly along the shaft, making Shion give more desperate noises.

But of course the first thought in Shion's mind was something that shifted the mood considerably.

"Shouldn't I be doing something for you?" Shion panted, looking into Nezumi's eyes when they parted for breath.

Nezumi smiled. His eyes roaming over Shion's prone form; flushed, panting and so completely open to him. His eyes were nearly swallowed up in black.

"Oh you're doing something for me, Shion." Nezumi absolutely purred, "Don't you worry about that."

Shion blushed darker.

Despite Nezumi's assurances Shion tried to reach for him, to make him feel pleasure too, and that gave Nezumi an idea.

"If you want us to feel good together so badly," Nezumi said as he stopped his hand's ministrations, "let me show you something we could try."

Nezumi pulled Shion so that the boy was sitting in his lap, his legs curling around Nezumi's hips, then he took their two lengths together, sliding them against each other as his hand wrapped around them both, before he guided Shion's hand to do the same.

Shion moaned at the contact even as he wrapped his hand carefully around the two of them and his other hand steadied him by gripping Nezumi 's shoulder while he did the same by bracing Shion's waist.

Then with Nezumi's guidance, they started to move together.

Nezumi gave a low groan, and somehow that only added to the feeling for Shion. He didn't know how this could feel so much better, but the heat and the friction were driving him crazy and he nearly had to lean his head on Nezumi's shoulder because he simply couldn't hold it up anymore. The sensations were crashing up and down his spine like waves.

"Shion," Nezumi grunted, and it made the boy shiver. His voice was so rough and so close he felt it as a breath against his skin, cooling his flush as heat coursed through his veins.

In a not so surprising twist, Shion didn't last much longer, barely moaning a warning before he spilt over their hands and groaned Nezumi's name in completion. Leaving Nezumi to coax himself only a little bit longer, focusing on Shion's hand and the sound of his satisfied voice to push him over the edge.

They laid in bed, after that, only long enough to catch their breath before Nezumi was hoisting himself up in all his naked glory to start cleaning them up and hunting down their clothes.

Shion tried not to watch the beautiful actor for too long while he was still bare, lest they have to repeat the morning again. Luckily, it wasn't long before Nezumi's barking orders started to drive such thoughts quickly from Shion's mind.

"Hurry up, Shion." The actor instructed as he got them ready to go outside. "It's time to teach you how to survive in the West District."

* * *

 

As it turned out, the first lesson of surviving in the west district, was how to bathe.

Bathing was somewhat controversial in the palace, and had been seen as some what of a waste of time when Shion was a kid, but to Nezumi it was apparently a vitality in the West District.

"This place is a pit," Nezumi said bitterly as him and Shion carried buckets full of well water back towards the shack. "full of dirt and wild animals. People fall ill here, and die here, to much for you to take the risk of not getting the grim off. It's the only thing to keep away the illnesses that spread like wildfire among the cold and the filthy."

It turns out, though, that the cold was also part of the reason baths were a necessity.

"If you do it right," Nezumi said, "and you heat the water, and only bath in the height of the day, then it may be one of the best ways to get some heat in your skin so your clothes have something to hold onto when the temperatures plummet at night. And it will be better with the two of us than it was for me alone. This way one of us can stand watch."

Shion realized why this was necessary when he realized the bath was a large tin tub covered by a blanket that was sitting between the few remaining walls of the house above their basement home.

Apparently it being outside was partly because heating the water required a fire, and partly because during the day, the sun was your best chance of warmth as long as the weather was clear.

After labor intensive bathing, Nezumi explained to Shion the system of bargaining for food. However, he prefaced his statement with the disclosure that Shion had better let Nezumi be in charge if that, which ended up being the theme of Nezumi's remaining lessons.

"So what should I do then?" Shion asked at one point, and Nezumi looked at him seriously.

"Stay inside when I'm not here," Nezumi said, "I'll bring work for you to do when I can, and you can cook over the fire when I'm here at night. If you want to go anywhere, I will go with you when I get back, but otherwise it's best for you to stay where it's safe."

Shion didn't totally like that idea, he had to admit. However, he still decided to trust Nezumi over arguing the point right now. After all, it wasn't like he had any idea what he was really asking for anyway.

"So where will you be when you're not here?" Shion asked cautiously when their lessons were almost finished.

Nezumi seemed hesitant to answer.

"There's a job here that pays better than most the others." He explained slowly. "If we are going to pay for both of us, it's probably my best option. But it's dangerous, so you can't go with me. Do you understand? I know how to protect myself, so I'll be fine. But if you go you'll be at serious risk."

Shion felt a uneasiness settle over him with those words. What was it Nezumi was doing to try and pay for him? It made his palms start to sweat.

Nezumi sighed, "Don't make that face. You look like you could vomit." he mussed Shion's hair. "Don't worry. I wouldn't do it if I thought it was risky for me. I'll be fine as long as you stay here."

Shion sort of nodded. He guessed he could trust that for now, but the wobbliness in his stomach didn't go away.

By the time Nezumi had set everything up with Shion and finished explaining things, it was almost evening, and time for Nezumi to head out.

He warned Shion again about staying inside, and he dressed as warmly as he could before setting out into the broken, wild streets of the West District.

It took about ten minutes to walk to the establishment he was looking for, a distance he viewed as a sort of insulation between Shion and this place.

Nezumi took a deep breath as he walked up to the door and stepped inside.

This was the loudest building for miles. Tables were crammed together between sorry excuses for a stage, and a bar, while assorted vessels of alcohol littered the crowd of dirty people.

They were the source of the noise, talking and shouting and making crude remarks about the dancers who were taking their clothes off on the make-shift stage.

Nezumi ignored all of it as he approached the bar.

"Hey there Sal," Nezumi shouted above the noise, and a tall, rail thin man with mousey hair turned around, and flashed his crooked teeth with he saw Nezumi standing there.

"Well if it isn't the Rat! What are you doing here again?" his voice stank of alcohol.

"Could you still use a bar tender?" Nezumi asked, trying to look relatively pleasant as he asked the man his favor. Sal laughed.

"If it's you? Of course! But I still wish you'd agree to become one of my dancers. You'd knock 'em dead."

"That's all right, Sal," Nezumi declined firmly, "bar tending is more my skill set."

Sal laughed obnoxiously.

"Whatever you say, what every you say," the owner laughed, "Can you start tonight then? We're a bit crowded, as you can see."

"Sure thing," Nezumi agreed, and smoothly lifted himself over the bar. "Where should I start?"

Sal grinned with his yellow teeth. "Oh you know the drill, Ratty. Give the customers what they pay for and keep their hands of my merchandise. Can I still count on you to rescue my performers if things get a 'lil rowdy?"

Nezumi tried to contain his distaste. "Sure thing, Sal."

Sal patted him on the back. "Atta boy, Ratty. Well then, enjoy your first night. Try to keep things under control, will 'ya?"

Nezumi nodded, and turned towards the barking crowd.

"What'll you have?" He asked the first man who came clambering up to the bar.

The man looked him over drunkenly.

"I wouldn't mind having you," the man slurred, leaning heavily on the bar.

Nezumi wrinkled his nose. "I'm not available. Order a drink or get out."

"Ooh feisty," The man grinned, and Nezumi glared at him.

"I guess I'll have another vodka then, princess." the man said finally. "but let me know if you change your mind."

Nezumi resisted reaching for the dagger he had concealed under his jacket as he narrowed his eyes.

"Coming right up." the actor said as he found the bottle and began pouring it into a tin cup.

It was going to be a long evening.

* * *

 

Nezumi didn't come home until long after it had gotten dark, and Shion was worried.

He had considered going to look for him a hundred times, but the thought of what Nezumi would do to him if he caught him out convinced Shion to stay inside.

Finally, when the white-haired boy was about to go insane with worry, the cellar doors opened and Nezumi descended into their dimly lit home.

"Nezumi!" Shion gasped in relief. "You're back."

"Yeah," Nezumi agreed, and pulled a small pouch out of his jacket, jingling it for Shion to hear. "First night's wages were pretty decent. It'll be a good start for getting some food tomorrow."

Shion eyed it curiously. "Are your ever going to tell me what it is that you're doing?"

"It's not particularly important." Nezumi replied, stuffing the money back in his coat and looking at Shion more directly.

Finally he smiled.

"You kept out of trouble while I was gone?" He asked, looking Shion up and down as if looking for something out of place.

Shion frowned, "What did you think I was going to do?"

Nezumi shook his head tiredly. "Nothing. I just worry about you."

Shion flushed at this. It was one of those unconscious kindnesses that had begun slipping out of Nezumi recently, and it always left Shion's chest feeling warm.

Nezumi stretched and sat down on the bed. He looked up at Shion and patted the spot next to him. "Come on, Shion. We should go to bed. We don't have food yet so it's best if we conserve energy until tomorrow."

Shion nodded and moved to sit beside Nezumi on the bed. When he did, he caught a whiff of something strong.

"Is that alcohol?" Shion asked in surprise. He hadn't realized there would even be alcohol way out here.

Nezumi tensed. "Yeah it is. Sorry it reeks so bad. I didn't drink anything, it's just hard to avoid the smell."

Shion's stomach twisted.

Why? Where had Nezumi been that other people were drinking?

Shion wanted to ask, but the set of Nezumi's shoulders said that it wouldn't go very well. He sighed and let it go for the time being.

"It's just too bad." Shion began, blushing as he said it. "I like the way you smell. Now I can't smell it anymore."

Nezumi froze.

"You like the way I smell?" he asked in apparent disbelief. "I haven't exactly been wearing a scent, Shion. Do you just enjoy a good whiff of sweat and dirt?"

Shion blushed deeper, "No, there's something else. Something about your skin and your hair that just… it smells like you." Shion shook his head furiously. "Oh never mind."

Nezumi raised a narrow eyebrow.

_Oh fuck it._

"Shion," Nezumi murmured, reaching out and turning Shion's face toward him by the chin. "Just come here."

The two of them fell onto the bed together, curling up in the blankets and tangling together, bodies and limbs, as their lips warred hot and urgent against each other. Nezumi pulled Shion on top of him and buried his fingers in his white hair.

They stayed like that for hours. Just kissing and tame touching. There were moments both of them wanted to go further but Nezumi laid down a firm line. Partly for the sake of exhaustion and partly for the sake keeping their clothes on for warmth tonight.

Besides, Nezumi thought, they hadn't done enough of this. Enough of the simple, less complicated touching that made his heart speed in a way that hand nothing to do with sex or desire, but something else.

Tonight especially, after watching men howl at stripping dancers and paw at them as they passed by, Nezumi needed this. The simplicity of holding Shion against him and feeling him curling into his touch, something deeper than pleasure.

However, he didn't let himself look to closely at why it felt so good to have Shion just be there. To just hold him, and kiss him, and feel the warmth of him in the freezing cold. He didn't look at the fact that even if Shion wasn't touching him at all, there would be a relief just in the fact that he was there-– that Nezumi could hear his voice, and look into his eyes and know that Shion, more than anyone else in the world, really saw him and would miss him if he went away.

All of those thoughts were too terrifying to confront right now. But somewhere deep in Nezumi's chest they were still there. And maybe someday, when he'd grown used to someone else being at his side, then Nezumi could unpack those thoughts and look at them more closely in the light.

But not tonight.


	12. Fears and Bargaining

"Shion, I seriously have to go." Nezumi murmured. It had been a week since he started his new job, but he still felt that he was on a bit of thin ice as far showing up late.

"What? I'm not doing anything." Shion said innocently. It would have almost been believable, if his mouth hadn't been slightly muffled against Nezumi's neck.

Nezumi chuckled, his eyelids slipping closed again. He was severely tempted to give in to Shion and tell Sal to go screw himself. He'd already been too distant from Shion the past few days. A side effect of Shion's curiosity and Nezumi's determination not to tell him a damn thing. But tonight Shion had been needy in a whole different way, and Nezumi was having a hard time convincing himself that work was more important.

He sighed, "Do you think you could hold onto this mood until I get back?"

Shion pouted, "You get back so late, and you're always exhausted."

Nezumi made a face. It was true, but…

"I'll see if I can come back early, okay?" Nezumi smiled evilly. He knew ways to speed up closing time, he'd just have to be a little heavy handed with his pouring tonight.

Shion gave in with a huff. "Fine!"

Nezumi mussed his hair as he sat up. "Good boy." Shion glared.

Nezumi pulled on his jacket and scarf as he got up, followed by his boots. As he pushed open the cellar doors cool air rushed in as dusk began to fall outside.

"Now Shion-," Nezumi began.

"Stay inside?" The white haired sighed. "I know. I will."

Nezumi smiled, "And work on patching those clothes for our neighbors. If I can take them back by tomorrow they said they will give us extra potatoes."

Shion nodded. "Sure." And Nezumi shut the doors behind him.

* * *

 

It was a busy night at the tavern. It seemed some knights coming back from abroad had stopped for in some cheap company before heading back to the castle and it made Nezumi edgy.

He knew Shion wasn't breaking any rules here, but he couldn't help but worry. What if one day the king decided Shion was more trouble alive than he was worth?

Nezumi tried to shake the thought from his head.

"'Ey Ratty. Take some drinks over to the table in the corner, will 'ye? My girls are a little preoccupied at the moment." Sal sniggered.

Oh, Nezumi could see they were preoccupied. A little more publicly than was decent too. Nezumi suppressed a violent reaction.

As he took the tray over, he saw one of the knights sitting at the table look up at him. He was clearly drunk, but he also looked very intent as he eyed him.

Nezumi instantly got a bad feeling in his stomach.

"….you really think?" one of the knights, who didn't happen to have a girl in his lap, was asking another.

"Well something strange is going on at the palace…"

Nezumi stiffened.

What?

"You know…" the other knight glanced around nervously. "Some people were saying–,"

"Hey!"

Nezumi jerked as the knight who had been staring at him shouted. "I remember you!"

Nezumi turned to look at him, eyes narrowing. "What?" he asked coldly.

"Yeah! I know I've seen your face before." The knight slurred, scrutinizing him. "You…."

Nezumi glared daggers at him. "I don't think so. You're drunk."

The knight bristled at that. "Don't talk to me like that!"

Nezumi bore his teeth before he could get control of himself, and suddenly the knight's eyes widened.

"Wait a minute… can't be… it's the prince's whore!"

Nezumi's eyes widened.

"Excuse me?" He feigned offense and confusion instantly. "I'm the bar tender, not one of the whores. I don't know what you're–"

"Not here!" the knight stood up, "You're the one who left the castle with the prince."

Nezumi tensed, he found himself reaching for his dagger.

"Whoa, whoa." The knight held up his hands. "Calm down. I'm not going to hurt you."

"Oh?" Nezumi sneered. "How generous."

"No really," The knight looked around. "I mostly wanted to ask… do you know where the prince ended up?"

"No." Nezumi said smoothly and without hesitation.

The knight deflated. "Really? Because…"

"Because what?" Nezumi raised an eyebrow.

The knight glanced around. "Any way that I could talk to you outside?"

"Why?" Nezumi demanded, tensing again.

The knight frowned and motioned for Nezumi to join him in a slightly quieter corner a few feet away.

"Here," The knight reached into his bag and pulled out a piece of parchment. "If you do see the prince again, he should probably know about this."

He handed the paper over to Nezumi, who unfolded it and read slowly. His eyes widened.

"Who else knows about this?" Nezumi demanded.

"Most people in the castle town." The knight looked sad. "But… the king doesn't want to start a panic."

"Of course he doesn't." Nezumi's eyes narrowed.

"Look…" The knight looked nervous. "Don't go tellin' a lot of people. I just thought…"

"Did you know Shion well then?" Nezumi asked. "You must have if your want to protect him, even now."

The knight looked down. "I don't know if I'd say that. It was… just hard not to like him is all."

Nezumi looked down too. "Yeah. I know." then he turned around and walked away with a wave over his shoulder.

"Sal!" Nezumi called over the bar. "I have to duck out for the night."

"What?" Sal demanded, looking furious. "But the place is packed, we need you!"

Nezumi pressed his lips together. "I know… but this is…"

Sal glared for a moment, then suddenly he grinned.

"I guess I could suffer through without you this once." Sal said slowly. "If you agree to dance tomorrow night to make up for it.

Nezumi's eyes flew wide. "What? I'm not letting anyone touch me Sal. You know that."

Sal grinned wider, "Then take the stage shift. No one will touch you up there."

Nezumi gritted his teeth.

"Fine." He agreed tersely. "but I swear, anyone lays a hand on me and they lose it. Got it, Sal?"

Sal laughed and it sounded horse as coughing. "Got it, got it, my little Ratty. I'll see you tomorrow night." he flashed his yellow teeth.

Nezumi stuffed his hand in his pocket to keep from punching him and stormed out of the tavern.

* * *

 

"Wow, you are back early." Said Shion when Nezumi returned, and he smiled. "Look, I finished those clothes–,'

"Shion." Nezumi's voice was cutting and insistent and Shion stopped.

"What?" The white haired asked nervously. "Is something wrong?"

Nezumi pulled the piece of parchment out of his pocket and handed it to Shion.

Shion looked at it.

It was a bulletin for the Royal Guard. "No one in or out of the palace until further notice. The king is indisposed."

Shion's eyes widened.

_Indisposed._

That word…. it only meant one thing at the castle.

"He's sick?" Shion swallowed hard. "How long…"

Nezumi pointed to the top corner of the paper. It had been dated a week ago.

"And he's still…?" Shion trailed off.

Nezumi looked down. "As far as I know."

There was silence for a long time as Shion stared at the paper. Then finally he sat down on the bed and sighed.

"You know…" He said, with no emotion on his face. "Rikiga said something to me once, about what it mean to be king. He said, being a ruler means living as if you were never human."

"Well that explains some things," Nezumi admitted bitterly, sitting down beside Shion. Shion gave the ghost of a smile.

"Yeah I guess it does." his eyes saddened. "Nezumi… I don't think he'd lift the exile on me. Not even now. If I tried to go back… I think they would kill me."

Nezumi tensed all the way down his spine. "Are you thinking about doing that?"

Shion didn't respond.

Nezumi turned harshly and stared at him. He was about to grab him by the shoulders and say that he wasn't going to let him do it when suddenly Shion said, "No. I don't think it would do any good."

Nezumi relaxed.

Shion shook his head. "I mostly feel bad for my mother. But, well… She wouldn't want me to risk my life, and maybe someday…. things will be different." Shion ran a hand over his face.

Nezumi looked away. He felt almost like he needed to give Shion a moment. But then…

A soft sound.

Nezumi's eyes widened, "Shion?"

Shion had a hand over his eyes, but a tear slipped through, sliding over his cheek.

"Shion?" Nezumi felt suddenly panicked. He didn't actually know how to handle crying. He didn't generally find himself in these sorts of situations.

Shion shook his head, and rubbed his hand across his eyes. "I'm fine," He said quickly, finding a smile and opening his eyes to look at Nezumi. At Nezumi's nervous expression he laughed.

Shion leaned into Nezumi's side, resting his head on his shoulder. "Did I worry you, Nezumi?"

Nezumi raised his arm and wrapped it around Shion's shoulders, pulling him closer. "Yes, you idiot." Nezumi grumbled, looking to the side. Shion's expression soften.

"Good." He murmured. "You're…" Shion trailed off, not finishing his sentence. Nezumi almost asked about it, but didn't. It just didn't feel like the right time.

"So," Shion let out a breath. "You came home early."

Nezumi shifted, "I did… but Shion I didn't do it for–,"

Shion stopped him, leaning up to press his lips to Nezumi's. It was bolder than he usually was, and Nezumi blinked in surprise.

"Come here." Shion whispered, pulling Nezumi with him until the dark-haired boy was lying over him on the bed, and he had pushed their lips back together.

"Shion…" Nezumi mumbled around kisses. He wasn't doing a very good job of resisting. Shion hands had started to feel good, slipping under his shirt.

"Make me forget, Nezumi." Shion said huskily in Nezumi's ear. His breath hot, making Nezumi shiver. "Make me forget about all of it. Please… I want you to."

Nezumi shuddered again. _What the hell? What has come over this kid. I didn't even know he was capable of thinking these things._

"Shion…" Nezumi felt both his desire and his hesitance leak into his voice as Shion's mouth found his throat. "I'm not sure…"

"Please," Shion begged and it went straight south on Nezumi's body. "I already love you. This isn't a reckless decision."

He had a point, Nezumi had to admit, and he softened. He could feel himself melting into Shion as he gave in.

"Okay, Shion." Nezumi breathed when their lips parted again. "When I'm done with you, you aren't going to remember your own name."

Shion smiled and pulled himself back to Nezumi.

"Perfect," He breathed, as he helped Nezumi in removing their clothes.


	13. Lies Told and Truth We Choke On

_Shion was standing in a doorway, for a minute unsure of where he was. Before him was a room, and in the room there was a bed swathed in white. There was a shape underneath the cloth, Shion could make out the shape of a face… and the shape of a crown._

_Beside the bed his mother was kneeling, sobbing, holding her chest as if it would burst apart otherwise. She looked torn, at wether or not to reach out and try to touch the figure in the bed. Her hand shaking in mid-air like a pale fluttering bird._

_Shion reached out for her._

_"Shion,"_

_Shion turned. He was positive it had been Nezumi's voice behind him. When he looked, a flick of black hair was disappearing down the hall._

_Shion glanced back at his mother and clenched a fist._

_"I'm sorry…" He murmured, and then he ran after Nezumi._

_Shion made it to the end of the hall at a sprint, worried he would have missed him, but when he got there his saw a hand sweeping behind another corner._

_"Nezumi!" Shion called and ran after him again._

_This time, when Shion reached the end of the hall, he recognized where he was._

_He was standing at the top of the hall that held his bedroom, the large wood doors cracked open at the end of it. When Shion arrived there, he saw a flash of something through the crack in the door and he ran towards them, throwing them open._

_There he was. Nezumi, sitting on the balcony with his hair blowing in the wind from outside. He wasn't looking at Shion, he was sitting sideways on the balcony rail, his head turned towards the horizon as sunlight fell over his skin._

_Shion let out a breath._

_"Nezumi," Shion too_ k _a step forward._

_Nezumi turned, his face smiling when he saw him. He held out his hand._

_"Come on," He said, beckoning Shion with a curl of his fingers, and then he leaped from the balcony._

_"Nezumi," Shion shouted so loud his voice broke as he tore forward, and threw himself against the balcony rail, looking down._

_But Nezumi was there, standing untouched on the ground below._

_Only, it wasn't the ground. It was a sort of white openness that stretched on forever, full of nothing. But Nezumi was standing there, looking up at him and reaching out his arm, calling him forward._

_"Come on!" He said again, his voice alight and brilliant, "Jump!"_

_Shion's eyes widened in surprise._

_He looked out again, at the blankness that stretched into the horizon, and squinted. He couldn't see anything, nothing, for miles. He looked back at Nezumi._

_Nezumi smiled at him, "What are you waiting for? Don't worry, I'm here to catch you."_

_And at that, Shion felt a slow grin spread over his face._

_"I'm coming!" Shion shouted, and he moved to throw himself over the balcony, but something caught his foot._

_Shion blinked and looked back. Around his leg there was suddenly a cuff. Locked like a clamp, it lead away from him with a heavy iron chain._

_Shion followed it with his eyes, where it passed between his bedroom doors, and at the moment he looked at them the doors blew open as if by a gust of wind._

_Beyond them was a plaza, day lit and full of people._

_Shion's chest clenched._

_"No," He jerked harshly towards the balcony again, and pain shot up his leg. "I know that place, I'm alone there."_

_"Shion?"_

_Shion turned his head._

_Nezumi was still there, looking up at him in confusion, but something was different. It took Shion a moment to notice._

_The space between them, the endless white, was stretching; a gap yawning open and the white dipping and dripping into it like thick liquid pouring into a crack._

_"No," Shion jerked wildly against his chain. "Nezumi!"_

_Nezumi was reaching out for him, but all the whiteness between the two of them was falling away into a void. Shion's heart was beating in his throat, so hard that it hurt._

_"Go!" Shion screamed, "leave me here, and run. Before…"_

_But it was too late._

_"Shion!" Nezumi was shouting, still reaching for him, as he fell._

"Nezumi!" Shion shot up.

He was blind in the dark, and his breath was coming too fast, making him dizzy. He felt something jolt beside him.

"Shion? What's going on?" Nezumi's voice, instantly panicked, broke through the dark. Shion heard it like cold water washing over a burn and his hands scrambled blindly to touch him, to know that he was real.

Shion felt the cloth of Nezumi's shirt slide beneath his finger and he fisted it, dragging it to him until he felt himself buried in the crook of Nezumi neck. Shion inhaled.

"Nezumi," He breathed, and wrapped his arms around him, holding himself against Nezumi's thin frame. "You're here."

"What?" Nezumi sounded nervous and baffled, but his arms wrapped around Shion in return, rubbing his back and smoothing his hair. "Shion what happened?"

"I'm sorry," Shion nuzzled into Nezumi's throat. "It was a dream."

Nezumi let out a breath. "What about?"

Shion's fingers curled into the back of Nezumi's shirt.

"I don't want to lose you," Shion whispered, his voice low. "Nezumi, you're the only thing…"

Nezumi sucked in a breath to cut him off, "Shion…"

"I just can't." Shion held him tighter.

Nezumi turned into Shion, nuzzling his hair. "I'm here…" he said, his voice barely a breath against Shion's skin.

Shion clutched him tighter.

He knew he had no right to ask for it, but he couldn't help but notice… Nezumi words only ever existed in the present. He never talked about the future. It was as if everything ahead of them was blank.

* * *

 

Shion breathed in the steam of dinner, feeling the heat cut through the cold night air behind the ruined shack and sighing. He glanced at the sky.

Nezumi had warned him he wasn't going to be home for dinner tonight. In fact he had told Shion that it would probably be best if he didn't wait up for him at all, and something about the way Nezumi had said it made Shion's stomach twist.

He missed Nezumi. Already, and with a painfulness that he couldn't explain.

Shion shook his head. He tried to focus on ladling out some stew from the old tin pot. He sat down on a low box and blew lightly on it and then took a sip, shuddering when the harsh heat slithered it's way into his stomach.

The truth was Shion had been thinking a lot lately.

He'd been thinking about his childhood, and about the kingdom, his mother and Rikiga. Worse, he'd thought mostly about the future. His future. And he just didn't know anymore what that was.

He used to tell himself not to worry. Nezumi had made it clear that they had a deadline, and Shion didn't want to waste the present worrying about how long it would last. But that was before….

Shion sighed.

That was before so many things.

Shion's stomach twisted and he suddenly had a hard time eating.

He wanted to see Nezumi, so badly in that moment it made him breathless, and he didn't know what to do.

"Your majesty?"

Shion looked up.

It was just about the last thing he expected, though maybe it shouldn't have been, too see one of the castle knights standing before him– with a scantily clad woman hanging– awkwardly– from his arm.

Shion stood and stumbled back. "What are you doing here?"

The knight held up one hand in surrender– the other being engaged with the woman that was trying to get his attention by sucking his fingers.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you. I just felt kinda weird being at the tavern when I saw your guy there and we were just looking for somewhere to– ya know…" the knight stammered.

Shion held up a hand to stop him.

"Slow down," Shion complained, "What tavern, and what do you mean 'my guy'?"

The knight shook his head, "Look, in my defense I didn't know he was one of the dancers. And it just felt weird, ya know? I don't mean to insult you– I mean, you like what you like–,"

Shion waved his hands around to stop him.

"What are you talking about?" Shion demanded.

The knight went pale, "Oh… umm… I…. I feel like I might have misunderstood something…."

Shion crossed his arms over his chest. "Why don't you try to explain."

* * *

 

Nezumi sighed as he finally sat down back stage. That had already been his second dance that night, and he was exhausted. Who knew it would be so difficult? Or that Sal would make him keep it up all night.

Nezumi picked up a cup of water and started to sip at it, slowly sighing.

"Ratty, you've got one more coming up," Sal called from the other side of backstage, standing before a few of the female dancers. Nezumi rolled his eyes.

"Are you kidding me?" He asked. "I just–,"

"Don't whine, Ratty," Sal leered at him. "I only get you for one night, so please let me make the most of it."

Nezumi glared.

"'right then, everybody shimmy your 'innies back on that stage."

Nezumi gripped his cup a little too tightly for a moment before throwing it back and standing up.

He was really going to have to kill Sal for this.

When him and a handful of other dancers stepped out from behind the curtain, the crowd roared drunkenly and it took a lot for Nezumi not to sneer in disgust. He took a deep breath through his nose.

A rough beat started from a drummer on the side of the stage and Nezumi started to move his hips in time. He could already feel one of the female dancers swaying into him, a little too closely, and running her hands over his bare chest.

Nezumi shoved down his discomfort and wrapped an arm around her silk covered waist– like he was supposed to– and she grinned at him, shimmying down so that she was rubbing a thinly covered warmth against Nezumi's leg. Her lace covered breast wound up in his hand. Nezumi felt a nauseous twist in his stomach.

And as miserable luck would have it, it was at that moment he heard the sound of the tavern door being pulled open.

Nezumi looked up, a passing glance at the newcomer that he hoped would distract him.

It did.

It took him a moment of blank astonishment for the image in front of him to sink in. Shion, standing in the doorway of the tavern, staring at him with a look of shock and pain– like someone at thrown something sharp through his chest.

Nezumi felt his eyes widened as his stomach dropped. His mouth silently formed Shion's name.

Then Shion's eyes narrowed at him, a sudden fire burning in them before he turned around in a storm and walked out.

Nezumi wasn't totally aware of his movement as he surged forward, dropping the girl and jumping off the stage to tear through the cluttered tables.

There were shouts of protest but Nezumi ignored them. He just ran.

"'Ey Ratty! what do you think your–,"

The tavern door slammed in Sal's face.

"Shion!" Nezumi shouted as he ran. Shion was still a good three feet ahead of him as he tore down the street. "Shion wait!"

Shion spun around, and the pain in his face made Nezumi stop walking.

"This is what you've been hiding from me?" Shion demanded. "That you spend your nights touching other people in the way that only you have ever touched me?"

Nezumi was silent. _It wasn't true… but…_

Something dark entered Nezumi's mind in that moment. One of his worst impulses. The one that had kept him alone for all this time. For such a long time.

If he didn't say anything, if he let Shion believe it was true, then Shion would leave him-– and all of this confusion, all of this attachment, would be over. Nezumi wouldn't have to be the one to go, and he'd no longer have to fight this war not to leave.

A deep sorrow spread over Shion's face at Nezumi's silence, and it seemed to swallow up all the light in Shion's eyes.

Something in Nezumi broke at the sight of it.

"Say something," Shion whispered, and Nezumi could hear the tears he was fighting. "Say SOMETHING!"

Nezumi flinched.

Shion let out something between a huff and a sob and turned around to continue walking. Nezumi found himself drawn after him, struggling with himself.

"Shion…"

Shion shook his head without turning around.

"Shion…"

"Stop saying my name like that." Shion hissed, "If you have something to say, just say it."

Nezumi swallowed. He was trying… but his throat was so tight.

They walked the rest of the way to the basement room in silence and when they got there– standing outside of it– Shion turned on him.

"I'm not going inside with you like this," he said sharply, folding his arms around himself like he was cold. "Either you start giving me some kind of explanation, or…" Shion trailed off, shaking his head. "I don't know."

Nezumi felt something cold rise up in him at Shion's attempt at an ultimatum, and his rebellious side reared it's head.

"What explanation do I owe you?" Nezumi scoffed, his voice hard. "Who are you to demand that from me?"

Shion looked up him. His face full of blank disbelief and hurt. Then he closed his eyes, clearly fighting off tears.

"aaaaaAAAAGGGGH!" Shion turned and kicked hard against the one standing wall at the side of the ruined shack.

"Fine," He growled, and he stormed toward the cellar doors.

"Shion–,"

"You didn't want to talk remember?" Shion spat back at him, "So shut up!"

Shion flung open the doors and clamored down inside. Nezumi moved after him and was crouched at the top of the stairs when Shion turned around to block him.

"What do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

Nezumi glared, "This place is mine, if you want to be here fine, but you can't lock me out."

Shion bore his teeth and opened his mouth as if to shout at him when suddenly there was the sound of something cracking.

Shion's eyes shifted over Nezumi's shoulder and widened. "Look out!"

Shion's hands gripped Nezumi's arm and yanked him harshly, sending both of them tumbling down into the cellar as something large and heavy fell, crashing over the opening and the stairs– blocking the way out.

 


	14. Locked In and Freaked Out

"Shion? Shion?" Nezumi coughed, and rolled back onto his knees. He couldn't see Shion in the dark. He could only feel a warm body underneath him. "Shion, are you all right?"

Shion didn't respond, he only groaned and squirmed until he found a way to sit up. Then he began crawling across the room.

THUMP

"Ouch!"

CREAK, RUSSLE, FLICK, FLICK, SIZZLE

A light appeared on the other side of the room as Shion lit a candle and then turned around, his shadow stretching out darkly across the floor until it reached where Nezumi's was kneeling.

The shadow didn't touch him, and Nezumi couldn't see Shion's face in the shade.

"Are you hurt?" Shion asked, his voice trying desperately to stay level, but Nezumi heard the worry there. The sound of it warmed him through the chest.

"No," he replied slowly, almost regretting that he wasn't. Would Shion forgive him, if he were hurt?

Nezumi shook his head to clear it.

"Good," Shion's voice relaxed. He picked his way carefully over the mattress toward Nezumi, and Nezumi stiffed in surprise. But Shion stepped right passed him towards the door.

Nezumi turned, "What are you doing?"

"Assessing the damage," Shion replied, stepping up the stairs to where the wall was lying over the opening. He braced himself on the stairs and started shoving. The wall didn't even budge.

"Here," Nezumi offered, "let me help you,"

He rose, and moved to the stairs. He started to brace himself on the wall, next to Shion, when Shion's elbow brushed against his bare chest.

Shion hissed in surprise and stumbled backwards, nearly falling over the mattress before he righted himself.

Nezumi turned back towards him to stare.

"What's the matter?" He demanded, "I thought you wanted–,"

Shion shook his head sitting down against the wall on the far side of the room.

Nezumi saw it then, that Shion was barely holding it together, and he felt guilty. Not because he felt it was entirely his fault, but because he hadn't seen it coming. Shion could only take so much before he broke down.

Everyone breaks down eventually.

Nezumi sighed internally, pretending he had not noticed and turning back toward the blocked door.

Maybe if he just gave Shion a moment. A little bit of space.

Nezumi shoved.

The wall not only didn't budge. It barely creaked.

Nezumi sighed.

He knew better than this. The wall was too heavy-– too wide spread a weight. They had a better chance of piercing through it then they had of lifting it. Even together.

Nezumi pressed his lips together. So they were really stuck here after all.

Nezumi stepped backwards– still looking at the wall as if hoping for a weak spot– when suddenly his foot bumped something sitting near the wall.

He turned, hearing something slide across the floor and assuming he'd spilt something. What he saw surprised him.

It was Shion's bag, he'd kicked it, and tipped it over and something fell out onto the floor-– the book that Shion had chosen off his self before they left. Nezumi hadn't gotten a good look at it before, he didn't think it really mattered. But when saw the cover he realized that it did.

The night that he and Shion met, Nezumi remembered being envious of all of Shion's books. Stacks upon stacks of them all over the floor.

Most of them were non-fiction books, which Nezumi found disgraceful. But when he woke up early that morning, and was getting ready to leave, he saw one book, one book among a hundred that was different.

"A collection of theatrical works by William Shakespeare"

Nezumi had half been teasing Shion when he'd done it, opening the book to his favorite play and laying it a top the others. He was just trying to mock him for his complete lack taste by showing him something real for a change. Even as he left, Nezumi didn't think that it would really matter.

It took four years to realize he was wrong.

Nezumi still remembered.

** ~ Eight Months Earlier~ **

_"Eve! Eve!"_

_Nezumi groaned. He was still hungover from the night before, and he wasn't equip for this level of excitement first thing in the morning._

_"What?"_

_"We got a break!"_

_Nezumi rubbed his eyes, sitting up so he could look the stage-hand in the eyes. "What are you talking about?"_

_"Ichigan just told us. We got a Royal Contract! They want us to preform the Prince's favorite play at his birthday party in a few months. It's going to be huge!"_

_"Wait what?" Nezumi felt something fluttering in his stomach, something he didn't totally recognize or appreciate. "The prince? Seriously? We're going to the palace?"_

_"Yeah!" The boy beamed, "See! I knew even you would be excited about this, Eve." The boy grinned as he turned to leave._

_"Wait!" Nezumi called, causing the boy to turn around._

_Nezumi raised an eyebrow. "Did you say the Prince's Favorite play?"_

_The stage hand nodded, "Yeah, that's what the queen says. Apparently he's a real lover of the arts these days. That's why she hired us."_

_Nezumi blinked, and a half smile pulled at his lips. "Oh, really? Interesting. So what is it then?"_

_The boy tilted his head. "What's what?"_

_"The play," Nezumi said, "What's the play?"_

_"Oh," the boy laughed. "I can't believe I forgot to tell you that. You'll love it. His favorite play is same as yours. Hamlet."_

_Nezumi's eyes widened, and he felt like the pressure in the air had changed._

_Hamlet…._

Nezumi stared at the book. It had aged decades since he'd seen it last; gone from brand new to worn with use. Years and years rubbed into it's pages by the touch of someone who read it frequently, who kept it with them; like a child with an old stuffed toy.

Just like people, the love of a thing is always seen in the wearing on them. Undamaged things had never been loved at all.

Nezumi bent down and slowly picked it up, feeling the softness of the cover in his hands. It wasn't love for the book, though, that he saw this time. When he looked at the frays and marks and the faded colors…. he saw Shion's love for him.

Nezumi closed his eyes. "Shion?"

Shion didn't respond. He was sitting against the wall with his hands too his mouth, blowing on them, trying to keep warm. He didn't even look at Nezumi, and he hadn't noticed what Nezumi was holding.

Nezumi sighed. "I was the bartender."

Shion's eyes shifted then, bright red in the flickering light. He narrowed them with suspicion. "What?"

"At the tavern," Nezumi continued, sitting down on the edge of the bed and continuing to stare at the book. It was easier than looking at Shion. The book seemed to make him stronger. "I'm just the bartender."

Shion snorted, "Oh really," He asked indignantly, glaring at Nezumi as if he were a liar. "Shirtless?"

Nezumi let out a breath, "Not tonight. Before. Every night that I've been bringing home money it was from the bar. Not the way that you saw tonight. That isn't what I've been doing up until now."

Shion hesitated, as if reluctant to believe him, but wanting to all the same. "Then when did it start?"

"Tonight." said Nezumi firmly, shaking his head. "Just tonight. I made a deal with him–,"

"With who?" Shion demanded, looking suddenly more angry.

"The owner," Nezumi explained, "Sal. I made a deal to dance for him, just this once, in exchange for leaving early yesterday."

"Yesterday?" Shion repeated, "Why did you–,"

And then he paused. His eyes going wide.

Nezumi waited, watching as the information slowly sunk in. Shion blinked his eyes. "Rikiga…"

"I thought you deserved to know." Nezumi sighed. "Maybe it was stupid, looking back on it. But honestly, once Sal turned me leaving into some sort of challenge I wasn't going to back down. It would have made me look afraid."

"Oh and that would be just terrible, wouldn't it?" Shion sneered, almost laughing. "Looking like a whore, no big deal, but looking afraid–,"

"I don't care if I look like a whore, Shion." Nezumi snapped, his voice coming out like a whip lashing. Shion jumped, and at the look of fear in his eyes Nezumi made an effort to calm down.

"I told you," Nezumi murmured, running a hand repeatedly through his hair, like it would sooth him. "I don't care what kind of trash people think I am. They'll think I'm trash anyway. What I do care about is letting them think they can scare me."

There was silence in response to that, for a while. Nezumi leaned his forehead against his palm and waited, not wanting to look at Shion just yet. Shion took a few long moment's to locate his voice.

"Well…" Shion began, his voice weary and light, as if he were tired. "I don't think I can really understand that."

Nezumi flinched, but didn't look up. Shion watched him carefully before he continued.

"I'm sorry, Nezumi." Shion murmured. "I just don't think we're much a like. Because the truth is, I don't care if people scare me." Shion tilted his head back against the wall, looking at the shadows dancing on the ceiling. "All I care about is that they don't think you are trash."

Nezumi stiffened, jerking his head around too look at Shion's face.

When he did, the boy was smiling.

"God, I hate how much I love you." Shion said, half chuckling as he shook his head. "I feel like you make me go insane."

Nezumi smirked, "Yeah, well…" he breathed, leaning back onto his hands. "I have that effect on people."

Shion laughed, "You know I don't forgive you right?"

Nezumi raised his eyebrows. "No?"

Shion shook his head. "No. You touched that girl. I would never do that to you. So no."

Nezumi tilted his head, "You would never touch me?"

Shion blushed. "You know what I meant!"

Nezumi chuckled. "So you're still mad at me?"

Shion nodded. "Yes."

"And there's nothing I could do to change your mind?"

"Nothing I can think of…." Shion raised an eyebrow as Nezumi slowly approached him from across the room. "What are you doing?"

Nezumi shrugged, sitting down on the side of the bed that was alarmingly close to where Shion was sitting. "Nothing."

"Oh?" Shion eyed him suspiciously.

"Really." Nezumi said, laying down and stretching out on the bed in a way that showed off all the taut muscles in his stomach. Shion tried not to notice. He was failing. "I was just thinking."

"Thinking about what?" Shion asked, without really meaning to. He was still trying to tear his eyes away from Nezumi's bare chest.

"About all the ways I could touch you to make you forget all about it."

Shion jolted, going bright red all the way to his ears. "Nezumi!"

Nezumi laughed, grinning brightly in the dim light. "You know we're stuck in here, right? It's going to be a really long night if you stay mad at me."

"Yeah, well." Shion sighed, leaning back against the wall again. "I think I'll live."

Nezumi chuckled. "Someone's stubborn."

"Yep."

"What if I let you choose something?" Nezumi asked, staring up at the ceiling with a smile, "Something to make it up to you."

"Hmmm," Shion hummed as he thought. "What kind of something?"

"Anything within reason," Nezumi replied, shrugging his shoulders. "Anything I can actually give you."

Shion thought about it.

"All right. I think I might have something."

Nezumi turned his head to look at him. "Really? That was fast."

"It's something I've wanted for a long time," Shion explained, "So I didn't have to think about it much."

"All right," Nezumi agreed reluctantly, "And it's something you can get from me?"

Shion nodded, "Though I'm not sure you'll be able to do it right away. I think I might be sort of difficult for you."

Nezumi's expression contorted with alarm, "You think so, huh? Well what is it then?"

Shion moved, shifting so his was leaning over Nezumi where we was laying on the bed. He looked into Nezumi's eyes, staring straight into them for a few moments before slowly raising his hand and putting a finger to the center of Nezumi's chest.

Nezumi froze.

He searched Shion's eyes nervously, looking for something that would tell him this was a joke, but there wasn't anything. Shion's eyes were steady.

"What are you trying to say?" Nezumi asked– slowly, cautiously. "You've already…. had me."

Shion shook his head. "I don't mean it like that," He said, and for once he didn't blush. "I want you. All of you. You already have all of me. I would do anything for you. When I know you feel the same way about me, that's when I'll forgive you."

With that Shion leaned away, moving off Nezumi and sitting by the wall again. Nezumi stared blankly at the spot he'd just left.

"I–," Nezumi swallowed, closing his eyes. "I have no idea how to do that, Shion. I'm not like you."

"I know," Shion whispered, "But you asked me what I wanted. That's it."

Nezumi turned his eyes on the white haired boy, bright and unsteady. He took a deep breath. "And what if I can't do it?"

Shion smiled. "This isn't an ultimatum. Nothings going to happen. I'll still love you. Always. I'll just know…" Shion's eyes seemed to glaze over, and he sighed. "I'll just know. That's all."

The expression on Shion's face then, the deep pain that seemed to cross it, made Nezumi's chest tighten so much that it hurt. Nezumi closed his eyes.

"I'm tired, Shion." Nezumi whispered. "Do you mind if we go to bed?"

Shion nodded, "Sure," he murmured, reaching for the candle and blowing it out. Then he stumbled over to the bed in the darkness, and curled up against Nezumi's side.

"Goodnight, Nezumi." Shion whispered in the dark. "Don't worry so much, okay? I have faith in you."

"I know Shion," Nezumi whispered back, closing his eyes and wrapping an arm around him.

_but_ _I don't._


	15. Life and Death

The next morning, Nezumi woke to the sound of voices

His eyes flew open. There were people outside, he could hear them talking. Men… with heavy footsteps.

Nezumi hissed.

Knights

Nezumi rolled over, shaking Shion's shoulder to wake him. When Shion blinked open his eyes and turned to look up at Nezumi, Nezumi put a finger to his lips.

"I saw him around here. Look, there's the fire pit. I'm telling you, he lives around here." one of the knights said. Nezumi was surprised.

His voice sounded familiar.

"Hey, look at this, I think this wall fell. It's laying on top of something."

"What?" more footsteps. "Men, lift the wall."

Nezumi's eyes widened.

He grabbed Shion and drug him to the side of the room, ducking behind the cupboard and holding a hand over Shion's mouth to keep him from speaking. The wall over the door began to creak and shift as the men outside tried lift it.

When it had been moved aside, warm light poured into the underground room. The color of morning. Shion blinked his eyes in the glare.

"Hello? Is anybody in there?" A deep male voice called. "Prince Shion?"

Shion's eyes widened.

He reached up and pulled Nezumi's hand away from his mouth. "It's one of my knights!" he told Nezumi in a hushed voice. "I have to see what they want."

"What if they want to kill you?" Nezumi demanded, his expression dark and angry. Shion shook his head.

"Not them. I trust them. Rikiga would have sent someone else if he wanted to kill me."

Nezumi glared. It seemed like a stupid risk. But he didn't stop Shion as he pushed away from him and clambered to his feet.

"I'm here," Shion called stepping into the square of light, and lifting his hand to shade his eyes.

When he looked up, he saw three knight standing around the cellar doors, staring down at him in surprise. Shion recognized one of them as the knight from the night before. He looked much more disheveled than the others. He must have met with the rest of them after they had arrived this morning.

They bowed their heads. "Your majesty."

"All that isn't necessary," Shion said with a flush, "I was disowned, remember?"

All the knights raised their heads and shared a look amongst themselves.

"Sir, would you mind stepping out of there for a moment, and having a talk with us?"

Shion's eyebrows drew together. He had a bad feeling in his stomach about this.

"What is it?" Shion asked carefully, tensing. "Just tell me."

The knights exchanged a look again.

"Your…." one of the knights began, watching for the reaction of the others. "…situation has changed. Your banishment has a been lifted."

"Lifted?" Shion demanded, feeling like he was going to pass out. "What are you talking about?"

All the knights looked at each other again, as if tempting the others to say something first. Finally, the one who was talking before continued.

"The king is dead, your majesty." the knight said finally. "He passed by illness the morning before this. Your mother is in charge of the kingdom now, and she has sent for you."

Shion felt like a rush of cold had worked it's way into his veins. He wasn't sure what his face looked like, or what he was supposed to say now. He felt as if he was slowly turning to stone on the spot. And if he waited long enough he would no longer be able move at all.

Suddenly someone was at his side.

"Leave," It was Nezumi's voice. He sounded tense, and dangerous. Shion couldn't see his face, but he didn't envy the knights who could.

"But we're supposed to bring him–,"

"We can handle getting to the palace on our own!" Nezumi snapped. "Now, Get. Out. Of. Here."

Shion felt like he had gone blind. He didn't remember seeing the knights leave, or seeing Nezumi standing beside him. He wasn't even sure how much time had passed before he felt Nezumi's hands on his neck, holding his head up, trying to get Shion to look at him.

"Shion?"

He heard Nezumi's voice as if it were filtering through water. He seemed so far away.

"Shion? Shion, Look at me, Shion!"

Shion wasn't sure how he did it, but suddenly he could see Nezumi's face, only a few inches from him, looking him intensely in the eyes.

"Shion, are you all right? Maybe you should sit down–,"

He started shaking his head.

Nezumi raised an eyebrow. "Well you don't have to, but–,"

Then Shion started shaking.

"H–he's– he's– h-he's." Shion couldn't get the words out around the shaking, and Nezumi's eyes widened as he realized the boy was probably going into shock.

"Shion…" Nezumi let out a breath, pulling the boy too him and crushing him into his chest as if he could steady the boy with the pressure. "Shion, you have to breath."

Shion's arms came up and wrapped around Nezumi in return, and that's when he started crying.

"I don't know why I feel like this." Shion sobbed, burying his face in Nezumi's shoulder. "He didn't even care about me."

Nezumi reached up and smoothed his hand over Shion's hair. "I don't know." Nezumi murmured softly. "But I'm here."

Shion's arms around Nezumi tightened. "Will you go back with me? To see my mom? I know I don't have any right to ask–,"

"I'll go." Nezumi promised, burying his fingers in Shion's hair. "Of course."

Shion nodded, "Thank you, Nezumi."

Nezumi nodded.

They didn't talk or move again for a long time.

* * *

 

They arrived at the palace the following morning. It had been a long journey. Shion had been quieter than usual, and he never let go of Nezumi's hand. Nezumi had this feeling that there was a fog of dread in the air, getting thicker with every step they took.

It was funny. This was what he had been expecting of their journey to the West District, but it hadn't been there. Shion had been calm then, but he wasn't anymore. All the strength seemed to be sapped from him with every mile they grew closer to his home.

"Something seems so wrong about this," Shion whispered at one point. "I was never supposed to come back."

"Is it a bad thing? "Nezumi asked, his voice cautious. "Don't you want to be able to go back?"

"Not like this," Shion replied, and Nezumi didn't ask anything more after that.

When they arrived there, a pair of knights lead them upstairs, back to Shion's old bedroom where they were told to wait until the Queen was ready to see them.

Nezumi was shocked to be back in this room. It didn't look like it had been touched since they left it. All the books on the shelves had been steadily gathering dust.

Shion sat on the bed, without looking at much of anything. He just took a breath, before laying back against the sheets and closing his eyes.

For a moment, Nezumi thought he was trying to go to sleep, but then Shion spoke.

"Nezumi?"

"Hmm?" Nezumi asked, looking at all the books one by one as if he were greeting old friends.

Shion's voice was soft. "Will you sing for me?"

Nezumi stilled.

"I…. You want me to?"

Shion nodded. "Please. I just… I want to hear your voice."

Nezumi cleared his throat. "All right…"

Nezumi turned to look at Shion, and took a deep breath.

Then he began to sing.

Shion smiled, like someone in pain finally getting relief.

He kept his eyes closed as he listened to Nezumi's voice, drifting on the air.

That's what it's like, Shion thought. Like bright gleaming snowflakes in a storm. Like Nezumi's voice is an element of nature.

When he had finished his song, Shion was crying. Silently, and with smile, but he was crying. He had to reach up and wipe the tears away with his fingers.

"Thank you," He whispered, his voice cracking lightly. "I think I could listen to you sing forever."

Nezumi smiled, "Sorry, your majesty. Some things are meant only to be fleeting pleasures."

Shion nodded, "Sometimes I think all beautiful things are fleeting." he said gently, like he was only breathing. "Maybe that's what makes them so beautiful though."

Nezumi didn't reply. He didn't know what else he could say, so he let silence fill the room. It was only there for a few moments, before a knock came at the door.

It was Nezumi who opened it.

"Nezumi?" Shion's mom stood on the other side. Her wide brown eyes raw with crying, and shielded behind a veil of black lace. "I'm glad you're here."

"Of course," Nezumi replied simply. "Shion's inside."

Nezumi stepped out of the way and let the Queen enter the room.

"I'll leave you two alone." Nezumi told Shion gently. "If you need me, I'll just be outside."

Shion nodded. "Thank you Nezumi,"

Nezumi nodded once and disappeared into the hall, shutting the door behind him.

Shion looked at his mom. "How are you doing?"

Karen gave him a watery smile. "Not great…" She replied, talking a deep breath. "but I'm getting by."

Shion nodded his head. There was a moment of silence.

Shion looked at her "I'm so sorry, mom."

Karen's lips trembled. "Thank you," Her voice cracked. "I'm… so glad that your home."

She started to cry.

Shion stood up off the bed and went to her, wrapping his arms around his mother and cradling her into his chest. He brought her back to the bed with him and sat her down so that she could cry into his shoulder, and he didn't disrupt her again for a long time.

"The funeral is tomorrow." Karen said finally, when she was able to speak clearly. "You'll go with me, won't you?"

Shion nodded, "Of course."

"We have a lot to talk about." Karen said, her voice still thick. "There's a lot that's going to be different now that Rikiga is gone. This is going to be a pivotal time."

"I understand." Shion agreed, petting his mother's hair. "But let's just take everything a step at a time. I'll help you with the funeral, then we can handle everything else."

Karen nodded. "You're right," she whispered, "That sounds good."

Shion squeezing his mother gently, hugging her into him, like a source of warmth. "I've missed you mom."

"I've missed you too," She whispered. "I'm so glad that you're finally back here." She reached her arms around him and squeezed him back.

* * *

 

No one felt like eating that night. Shion had spent almost the whole day with his mother, planning for the funeral. By the time it was over he wanted nothing more than to just sit in his room and stop thinking for a while. Food was the absolute last thing on his mind.

"You can go to dinner if you want though," He offered to Nezumi. The dark haired shook his head.

"It's fine. I'd rather stay here."

Shion nodded, slowly sinking onto his bed.

He kicked off his shoes, rolling over and closing his eyes like he was thinking of going to sleep. He patted the space beside him.

"Lay down with me?" He asked, looking at Nezumi. The dark boy turned.

He had been looking out the window.

"Sure," Nezumi agreed, getting up from a chair on the side of the room and moving to lay beside Shion on the bed. Shion snuggled into Nezumi's side.

He sighed. "You're so warm."

Nezumi stroked his hair. "Are you doing okay, Shion?" he asked. "With all of this?"

Shion closed his eyes.

"I don't know," he whispered. "I'm starting to feel so numb. Like I'm turning into stone."

"You could never be that unfeeling Shion." Nezumi promised him, mussing his hair. "You just don't have it in you."

"Maybe," Shion agreed, stifling a yawn. "but that's what it feels like."

A few silent moments passed.

"Nezumi?"

"Hmm?"

Shion turned his head up, "Will you kiss me?"

Nezumi lowered his eyes to look at him.

He didn't say anything. He just took Shion's chin and gently turned it up, pressing his lips to Shion's so that he could feel all the warmth of them sinking into his bones. Then he pulled away.

Shion whined softly. "More."

Nezumi raised an eyebrow, but he did as he was asked. He kissed Shion harder this time, with a more aggressive pressure. Shion sighed happily.

"Please, keep going," Shion whispered. "I need you."

Nezumi pulled slightly away. "Shion…"

Shion opened is eyes. They were bright and pained.

"I know," He whispered. "You're just… your the only thing keeping me going right now. I guess I'm feeling a little greedy."

"I don't want to be your outlet." Nezumi warned. "It was you that taught me about only doing physical things for the right reasons."

Shion nodded. "I know."

"Besides," Nezumi murmured, almost as an after thought. "I don't want you to associate me with this. I don't want to be connected to your pain."

Shion brushed his fingers through Nezumi's hair.

"I love you, Nezumi." he whispered. "You could never be pain to me."

Nezumi closed his eyes.

"Get some sleep." he whispered. "If you still want me in the morning…" Nezumi didn't finish his statement.

Shion smiled wearily.

"I'll always want you." he whispered, but he snuggled closer into Nezumi and closed his eyes. "Goodnight, Nezumi."

Nezumi leaned down and kissed the top of Shion's head. "Goodnight, Shion."

Nezumi felt strange doing it, he wasn't usually so feeling, but he could feel Shion smile.

"I love you," Shion said

Nezumi felt a tightness constrict his throat. "Me too."

Shion went very still.

It wasn't exactly right… but it was closer. And that made Shion happy as he tucked himself closer into Nezumi's side.

Neither of them spoke again. Like they were trying to preserve a delicate spell. And Shion never once moved away from Nezumi's side.

* * *

 

Shion woke up to the pleasant feeling of hot, gentle lips kissing against his neck.

It was still dark. And Shion blinked tiredly until his eyes began to adjust. He realized Nezumi was holding him, aggressively kissing him and touching his skin.

"Nezumi?" Shion croaked, heat starting to course through his veins.

Nezumi gave soft, dreamy sounding sigh.

Shion let out a full breath.

"Nezumi," Shion craned his neck to look at his face.

"Hmm?" Nezumi stilled for a moment and then groaned and shifted, raising up on his elbows and rubbing his eyes.

"Shion?"

Shion blinked, "Were you asleep?"

Nezumi yawned, "Yeah, is something wrong?"

Shion stared at him blankly.

"We're you dreaming?" Shion hinted, and Nezumi seemed to think about it for a moment.

"Yeah…" Nezumi swallowed. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"This is just a guess," Shion said gently, "But I think you were making me a little bit interactive in your dreams a moment ago."

Nezumi blinked.

"Oh," Shion though Nezumi's cheeks may have darkened. "I guess I was a little more… pent up then I realized."

Shion smiled, "I'm not complaining," he breathed, and the two boys' eyes met in the dark.

Nezumi's eyes darkened suggestively.

"We were only going to wait till morning anyway…" he murmured reaching out to trail his fingers over the scar on Shion's neck.

Shion shivered.

"Close enough," Shion breathed, and he pulled Nezumi against him.

They were impatient this time, lips and tongues and teeth and desperate pawing. Too many emotions, too much tension between them to slow down. They never felt close enough, never touching enough, never going fast enough.

It was a starving desperation.

"Shion," Nezumi moaned. They were already undressed, everything vital already grinding fiercely together like they could press themselves into being the same person. "I…"

"I know," Shion panted, "It's okay. Go ahead."

Nezumi groaned.

He was barely clinging to his sanity enough to do things properly, and even still he wasn't as gentle as he wished he could be. But Shion didn't mind as much as he should have.

He was hungry for this too.

When Nezumi was inside, it took an almost painful force of will to hold back long enough to let Shion adjust to him and too keep himself from going too fast. But the second Shion gave him permission, Nezumi was certain he had lost his mind completely.

It was fast and rough and wild, in a way that Nezumi thought he and Shion would never be. What ever had been holding back the flood of churning emotions that had been bottled inside of Nezumi for years seemed to snap and everything came rushing out all at once– a single coursing heat.

"Nezumi!" Shion screamed, probably too loud for privacy or decorum but Nezumi didn't care. It sounded beautiful to him.

"I'm so close Shion." Nezumi panted, "Wait for me."

Shion nodded, a little dizzily, but it wasn't much longer.

The end came like something combusting.

They were both yelling, the other's name on their lips, and the rest of the world forgotten. And when they came to, they were breathing like two people rescued from drowning, and they clung to each other until their heart rates started to even out.

It was still early. Too early, even, to be certain if it was night or morning that they should be concerned about. So Nezumi pulled Shion against him, and wrapped an arm around him, preparing for the return of sleep.

It took a while though, coming down from such a high.

Nezumi's mind started turning.

He thought them first, over and over and over again like a chant. Like repetition would make the words familiar to him, make them them easier to say.

Then he started mouthing them. Tasting them on his tongue without saying them, shaping them and molding his mouth around them until he was certain he could say them smoothly. Then he cleared his throat.

"Shion?"

"Hmmm?" Shion asked sleepily, running his hand along Nezumi's arm where it wrapped around his waist, drawing gentle patterns. "What is it?"

Nezumi took a slow deep breath.

"I love you, Shion."

Shion's arm stilled.

Shion tried to move, but Nezumi held him fast. Holding him in place so he couldn't look at him. The dark boy's cheeks pooled with blood.

"Please," Shion whispered, his voice sounding desperate, and thick with emotion. "Please, let me look at you."

Nezumi hesitated, but finally he loosened his grip.

Shion rolled over.

He threw his arms around Nezumi's neck, their lips crashing together with such force Nezumi was nearly pushed out of the bed, and they didn't come up for air for a long time.

"I love you too," Shion panted, pulling back to beam at Nezumi with all the light and warmth he had– like his smile could outshine the sun. "I love you. I love so much."

Nezumi smiled, almost against his will. His lips melting into one of the warmest, gentlest smile Shion had ever seem him wear, as he reached up to run his thumb along the stripe on Shion's cheek, just like he had done the first night they had ever met.

Nezumi chuckled. "You're unbelievable."

Shion's eyes wrinkled with his smile and he started to laugh, "Me?"

"Yes," Nezumi grinned, mussing Shion's hair. "You."

Shion giggled.

"You should get back to sleep." Nezumi said, a moment later, drawing patterns on Shion's back. Shion sighed.

"I don't think I can sleep now," he said, still smiling like he couldn't get it off his face. His arms were still looped around Nezumi's neck. "In fact, you're sort of making me want to repeat what we were doing just a minute ago."

Nezumi laughed.

"Careful what you wish for." He teased leaning in to nip sharply against Shion's pulse point, making him shudder.

Shion laughed, "Not with you. I'll always wish for more of you. No matter what it costs."

Nezumi felt a bubbly twist inside his stomach. "Always?"

"Always." Shion replied, and he leaned in to kiss Nezumi again.

Nezumi closed his eyes, giving in to the feeling of this, for once.

He was so terrified in that moment. More than he had ever been in his entire life. But he could worry about that later.

This was Shion. And he loved him.

* * *

 

The funeral was a production. The biggest event the kingdom had ever seen. Nezumi watched it from beside Shion, in chairs on a balcony above the crowd.

It was like watching a circus.

Nezumi was bitter. He couldn't say he didn't hate this man. Under other circumstances, he probably would have spent this day celebrating. A victory for the boy who had dreamt of this death a hundred times.

But this was for Shion, so he held it in.

When it was finally over, Nezumi, Shion, and the Queen spent a few hours accepting condolences from the people, like all of them were dear friends. None of them knew who Nezumi was, for which he was glad. He just stood aside and let the ceremony happen.

By late afternoon, the three of them were all drawn and exhausted as they collectively retreated inside the castle. But unfortunately for Nezumi, he was in for a few more surprises.

"Shion!"

Nezumi stiffened at the sight of her. That brown haired girl that loved Shion, bounding up the castle hall and throwing her arms around the white haired boy like he was hers to hold.

Nezumi fists turned white at the knuckles.

"Shion, I'm so sorry." Safu said, pulling away but still holding Shion by the arms as she looked up into his face. "I came as quickly as I could, I'm so sorry I missed the funeral. How are you doing?"

Shion looked startled, his eyes shifted to Nezumi who stood stoic at his side. But the dark gleam in those sword-steel eyes spoke volumes.

Shion disentangled himself from Safu.

"I'm doing all right." Shion said quickly, giving the girl a gentle smile. "Just tired. I think I need to take a rest."

Someone cleared their throat.

Shion, Karen, Safu and Nezumi all turned their heads. Standing behind them, the head of the King's council was waiting, his hands folded at his back.

"Soon, your grace." the man said, stiffly. "But I'm afraid– that at the moment– the council has a few important matters to discuss with you and your mother. It would be best if you sent your friends to go on ahead."

Shion's expression tightened.

"All right," He agreed slowly, exchanging a look with his mother before turning to Nezumi and Safu.

"Nezumi, why don't you and Safu go take a look at the library? Safu can show you where. It's actually quite beautiful."

Nezumi's eyes tightened.

"And large," Shion added, with a stern look. "Plenty of quiet places to get away and read."

Nezumi took the hint.

"That sounds nice," Nezumi agreed reluctantly. "Safu? Do you mind?"

"Not at all," Safu agreed, but she gave Nezumi a confused look. She had no idea who he was. She didn't recognize him from Shion's birthday, and they had never been properly introduced. "Right this way."

And the two of them wandered off as Shion turned to the councilman.

"Lead the way."

* * *

 

"You want me to be king?"

Shion's voice rose to a rather uncomfortable decibel at the news. His heart feeling like he might be about to have an attack. "Now? I'm sixteen! And I was disowned by Rikiga. I spent the last few weeks banished!"

"You're the most qualified," one of the councilmen explained. "Your mother was not prepared for this. And she's made it very clear she doesn't want the job. Rikiga only prepared you to take his place, and if you don't do it, the lack of organized succession could start a war."

"I'm not even his blood," Shion pointed out, "Why would they accept me?"

"He adopted you," one of the advisors pointed out. "You've been familiar to your people for years. No announcement was made about the banishment. They don't have any idea."

Shion felt a little sick.

"Shion." Karen said gently, putting her hand over her son's. "I can't do this job. I suggested you because I know how smart you are, what bright ideas you have. I know that you could make a wonderful difference here–,"

Karen didn't get to finish.

"It HAS to be you." the head councilman broke in. "There are no other monarchs that are appropriate. The succession must fall to you, or there will be chaos."

Shion swallowed thickly.

"I don't know." He murmured, "Living in the West District with Nezumi… I kind of gave up on–,"

"About that…" Another of the councilman began. "You must stop hanging around with that street rat."

Shion's eyes widened. "What?"

"Rumors will spread," The councilman said, as if it were horrible and obvious all at the same time. "The King can't have a male lover. The King must have a Queen and future heirs. You should understand that more than anyone, since Rikiga's lack of heirs is the reason for all of this."

"I don't care!" Shion snapped, looking furious. "I won't leave Nezumi."

The councilmen shared a look.

"He's just some pretty street actor. You said it yourself, you're young. You'll forget about him–,"

"I won't!" Shion barked viciously. "I will never forget Nezumi. He is everything to me."

The councilmen all looked uncomfortable and horrified. But also as if they were trying to talk down a rebellious child.

"This is unreasonable–,"

"You're unreasonable." Shion spat. "You can fight all the wars you want. If anything happens to Nezumi, if he isn't at my side, then you will never have your king."

With that Shion turned and stormed out of the room. Slamming the door behind him. The councilmen all sighed.

"What are we going to do?"

"Maybe with the proper management we could keep the actor boy a secret–,"

The council began discussing it, and Karen listened to them with a heavy heart.

She had been wrong. She should have let Shion stay lost.

He had found his happiness, hadn't he? Now what had she done?

* * *

 

"So how do you know Shion?"

Nezumi ground his teeth.

Safu had been following him around the library. No doubt waiting to ask this very question all along. Nezumi was ready to pull his hair out.

"We met when we were kids."

"Oh," Safu seemed appeased by this. "So you're a childhood friend from before he was the prince."

Nezumi's muscles tightened.

He should say nothing. He should leave it at that.

He cleared his throat.

"No."

"Oh," Safu looked confused. "Then what do you mean?"

Nezumi raised his bright eyes to look at her. Something dangerous flashing in their depths.

Luckily for her, the door was thrown open at that moment, and Shion came storming inside.

Nezumi felt like his stomach had been turned to lead. "What happened?" he asked. It took one look at Shion's face to see that something was wrong.

Shion raised his eyes to Nezumi's, and the look in them made Nezumi's stomach twist.

Something was very wrong.

"The council just…." Shion's eyes flickered to Safu. "Is just causing problems. We'll probably have to leave soon. I don't know how much longer I can stay here."

Nezumi nodded firmly. He didn't know exactly what Shion was getting at, but he understood that whatever it was, the two of them weren't safe to stay here. They needed to leave before tomorrow.

"Oh," Safu had a look cross her face, something like pain. "I guess they told you different news than I was expecting."

Shion whirled on her. "Expecting? What do you mean?"

Safu blinked rapidly, she seemed nervous and startled. "Well… the councilmen contacted me. They said… since the king had passed… they were going to offer you the throne."

Nezumi felt something dark creep over him as puzzle pieces started forming in his mind. His chest kept getting tighter.

"Why did they tell you that?" Shion asked, his expression angry and baffled.

Safu, bit her lip. "Well… they…. they said you would be needing a queen. So they thought…"

Shion's expression broke into a cross between horror and shock. But Nezumi barely noticed.

The puzzle pieces had clicked together.

The council, the throne, Shion, and Safu. It must have been such a lovely little picture, with only one thing in the way.

It wasn't Shion who wasn't safe here another night. It was him.

It was the two of them together.

That's why Shion was trying to leave.

Nezumi's entire body seemed to freeze.

Shion turned to look at him.

"Safu, I can't talk about this right now." Shion snapped at the girl, moving toward Nezumi. "Nezumi, come with me."

Shion grabbed Nezumi's hand and began pulling him, half dragging him, down the hall until they were safe inside Shion's bedroom, setting Nezumi on the bed.

Shion grabbed Nezumi's face and forced the boy to look at him.

"I said no."

"I know." Nezumi croaked, thickly. "I gathered that."

"This doesn't change anything," Shion said quickly, almost panicked, like he was trying to get the words out too fast. "I don't want it. I just want to leave. I've made my choice already."

Nezumi swallowed.

"No, Shion." he whispered. "You haven't."

Shion's eyes widened.

"I have!" Shion pleaded, sounding like he was breathing too much, too quickly. "I chose you! I choose you! I will always choose you!"

Nezumi raised his eyes. They were so dark, it was like looking at a starless night. "You're decisions don't only affect you, Shion."

Shion sucked in a breath.

"What are you saying?" Shion's grip on Nezumi tightened, his voice was watery and weak. "You… you love me, don't you?"

Nezumi's expresson sort of crumpled. "Of course I do."

Shion's lips smiled, but it was a desperate, shaky smile. "Then we can just stay together."

Nezumi shook his head.

"Shion," His whispered. Reaching up to grip Shion's hands in his where they rested on his cheeks. "I don't make decisions based on love."

Shion's face went pale.

"You shouldn't blame the councilmen," Nezumi said, squeezing Shion's hands. "I could never stay in this life. No matter what they said. It isn't right for me. It's right for you."

"No." Shion shook his head, violently. "No it isn't."

"It is." Nezumi breathed. "Shion… the life we had, in The West District… It was temporary."

Shion kept shaking his head. "No!"

"No one can stay there forever, it doesn't happen. We would have died, or we would have changed. Those were the options. This… this is the best outcome there could have been."

Shion shook. "No! Stop talking."

Nezumi gripped Shion tighter, trying to will the boy to look at him. "Shion, I haven't given up on the things that I wanted."

Shion finally looked. His eyes wide. "Your revenge?"

Nezumi's eyes tightened. "There are people here. People suffering, people who have suffered. I need to do something to help them. I never would have given that up."

"You're not going to preach that enemy stuff again." Shion said fiercely, his eyes narrowing. "You are not my enemy!"

Nezumi shook his head. "No, Shion. Don't you get it?" his voice was rough. "You. You will be my revenge."

Shion's eyes widened.

"You can help people," Nezumi said, finally looking Shion in the eyes, reaching out to run his fingers through Shion's soft white hair. "And I know that you will. But only if you stay. If you become King… I will finally have achieved what I wanted. In the best way that it could have been achieved. And finally… I'll be able to move on."

Shion looked sort of green. "You're leaving…" It wasn't a question.

Nezumi's eyes were steady. "Yes."

Shion shook his head again. "No! No, I can't never see you again. Please!"

Nezumi grabbed Shion's face, forcing him to sit still. "Shion! This is bigger than you and me. You told me that you wanted to help people. That, if you could, that's what you wanted to do. Well now you can."

"This can't be the only way!" Shion screamed, tears starting to run down his cheeks. "It can't be the only way– that I have to lose you."

Nezumi sort of smiled. "It's not in my nature to be kept, Shion."

Shion was crying in ernest now. "So what? Did you know this would happen? That I would become king and you would leave? Have you just been waiting?"

"No." Nezumi said sharply. "I didn't know what was going to happen, Shion. I had an instinct… that there was no way the two of us could stay together for long, but I told you that. Remember?"

Shion sucked in a breath, "But I thought…. I thought things changed. You said you loved me…"

"I do love you," Nezumi said thickly, wiping his hand through Shion's tears, trying to clear them. "You taught me that. If you have a chance at something important… you don't waste it to protect yourself." Nezumi smiled, "Right?"

Shion's eyes welled with a fresh round of tears.

"I don't want to live without you," Shion whispered. "There is nothing for me, without you."

Nezumi shook his head. "Of course there is. And who knows? Maybe this won't be last time we see each other. After all… what are the chances I would ever get to see the boy who saved my life when I was a kid? But here we are."

Shion shut his eyes, and let the tears run down his cheeks in streams.

"Please…. Nezumi. Don't leave."

"Hey…" Nezumi whispered, his voice thick with emotion. He brushed his hands through Shion's hair, and the boy opened his eyes. "Come on, you spoiled child. Act your age."

And with that, he kissed him.

When they pulled away Shion's eyes were raw with sadness. And he was clinging to Nezumi with everything he had.

His eyes were bright as fires. "Kisses are a promise." He whispered. "You can't do that when you're just going to leave."

Nezumi smiled. "You told me kisses are a promise that you're going to love someone." Nezumi whispered back, pressing a kiss to Shion's forehead, making him tremble with tears. "And that is a promise I can keep."

Shion sobbed quietly, wrapping his arms around Nezumi and pulling him into a tight embrace.

"You'll be fine without me." Nezumi whispered, softly in his ear. "You'll have a purpose. You're going to change things. And when you have…" Nezumi smiled, and tilted his head to kiss Shion softly on the neck. "When you have, I know that you'll find me again."

Shion sobbed into Nezumi's shoulder. "I can't wait that long."

Nezumi chuckled, "You haven't even tried."

Shion shook his head.

Nezumi squeezed him tighter. "I'm going to miss you, Shion. But I'll be watching you. I'll watch you change everything. And when you have, I'll come back, and I'll steal you away."

Shion squeezed his eyes shut, and clung to the dark haired boy like his life depended on it.

"You better," He sniffed, burying his face in Nezumi's neck. "I'll be looking for you."

* * *

 

That night– after the sun disappeared below the horizon– Shion stood on his balcony, looking down into the trees below, where a dark haired boy stood staring up at him.

He waved goodbye.

It took hours for someone to find Shion after that.

The people who finally did, were his mother and the council.

"Haven't you all put him through enough," Shion's mother was saying, trying to shoo the council away from Shion's room. "I told you. His decision–,"

"It's all right, Mom." Shion said softly. All the life had gone out of his voice. "Things have changed now. I'm willing to take the council's offer."

The Queen whirled around. "What?"

The council all gave a collective sigh of relief.

"That's fantastic! We must plan for the coronation. Draw up announcements immediately!" The council all started shouting and stirring and within moments Shion and his mother were alone in his room.

"Shion what happened?" She asked, her voice timid, frightened. "You don't look good. Where is Nezumi?"

Shion raised his head.

"He's gone, Mom." Shion whispered, so quiet that she barely heard him.

Shion closed his eyes.

"Nezumi is gone."


	16. Your Heart and Mind

Shion did what he had promised Nezumi he would do.

He freed the prisoners of the wild tribes, giving them back some of their lands so that they could be free of the kingdom completely. He cracked down on military expansion, preventing more wars, and promoting the peace the kingdom should have had years ago. He ended prison cruelty, so that no one would ever have to endure the torment the wild tribes suffered ever again. And he did all of this in a couple of months.

Over and over again the council would ask him, "When can we finally celebrate your coronation?" "What about a wedding?"

Every time Shion said the same thing.

"That isn't what I'm here for. I just want to work."

Then, at night, Shion would spend all his time in his room alone.

Usually he read. Books were starting find their way into stacks on his floor again, like when he was younger, and most of the library was finding it's way into his room.

But… on some nights, if someone would have passed outside his room they would have heard him talking.

No one ever responded. He just talked. About his day, about his thoughts, sometimes he would even ask questions that would go unanswered. Yet, he would still wait for a moment, in silence, as if someone might suddenly speak out of thin air.

Those nights were the worst ones.

A least until the nightmares started.

It was always the same. Shion dreamt he was slowly sinking down into a dark, frozen lake. The deeper he got, the more freezing it became and the more pressure seemed to be pushing him down, making the cold water sink into his veins.

He never touched the bottom, he just sank, and when he looked up he could see the fading light of a bright moon steadily disappearing overhead.

When he woke up, after nights like this, Shion was never startled. He was somber. Because the dream never made him feel like he was going to die, just that he was already gone, and all that was left was to wait for the torment to be over too.

Everyone noticed the change in Shion. But most people thought he had become apathetic, that he no longer wanted to feel anything, so he buried himself in his work.

They were wrong.

Shion did feel, he felt everything. That was why he worked. The more he worked, the more time would speed by, and the quicker the days would pass. And for Shion, everyday that passed was one day closer to seeing Nezumi again.

And the days did go by. Three months went by. Nothing changed.

Finally, it was Safu who decided to do something.

"Shion?"

She caught him in between dinner and leaving to go to his room. When he turned to look at her, she could see the surprise and impatience in his eyes, like she'd yanked him from a dream.

"Oh hi, Safu. Is something wrong?"

Safu shifted and sighed. "Can we have a talk?"

Shion blinked, "Sure…"

"Privately?" She added, looking awkwardly around the dining room. Shion's eyebrows furrowed.

"Sure," Shion waved a hand. "We can sit in the parlor."

They walked silently down the hall. Safu chewing her lips nervously and Shion took on the distant look in his eyes– that was more ever-present lately.

Shion shut the door to the parlor when they arrived. A bright warm fire was burning in the hearth and the light from it danced over the sofa, casting shadows on the wall.

Shion sat down. "So what did you want to talk about?"

Safu moved to sit beside him. Sitting stiffly and folding her hands in her lap.

"Shion…" Safu began carefully. "Who was Nezumi to you?"

Shion's entire body went still.

Safu could tell by the look on Shion's face that she'd cracked something. He looked like he was barely holding back his reaction.

"I'm sorry," Safu said gently. "It's just… I don't understand. I can tell he was something important… but you never told me. Somehow I feel like… it might just be better if I knew, and maybe it would help you to talk about him."

Shion's face lowered, so that he was looking down at his hands on his legs. They were balled into fists.

"Nezumi was…" Shion's voice broke and he had to clear his throat. "He…"

"Why don't you just start from the beginning?" Safu offered, and Shion looked up into her eyes. He looked nervous, and fragile. He pressed his lips together.

"All right," Shion took a deep breath, and he carefully began his story.

He told her about Nezumi, about meeting him as a child, about Hamlet, about his surprise at finding him again. He told her about fighting, about Nezumi's way of always teasing him, and about the beautiful way that he would sing.

He didn't tell her everything. Not everything was something that he wanted to tell. But he did tell her the most important things. About how much he loved him. About about how he had left.

When he'd finished, Safu was looking at him. Her eyes were wet, and she had to press her lips together to stop them from trembling. She reached out for Shion's hand.

"I had no idea," She said eventually, when they two them had pulled themselves together enough to speak. "I'm so sorry, Shion."

For a long time, they just sat together. Not speaking, while Safu gave Shion time to calm down and to breath.

Then suddenly something unexpected found it's way out of her mouth.

"You don't want this Shion. So why are you here?"

As soon as she said it Shion's head snapped up to look at her with wide startled eyes.

Safu held up her hands in surrender, "I'm so sorry, I just… You're so unhappy…"

"It isn't right for me to let other people's lives fall apart because I don't want this," Shion said, carefully, sadly. "I can't do that. I care what happens to this kingdom. I can't just turn my back on it. I couldn't ask Nezumi to give up his life for this kingdom, but I also can't turn my back on this kingdom just because of Nezumi."

Safu expression softened, "And there's no third option?"

"If I can change this kingdom for the better," Shion said, with a desperate passion, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, "If I can make it good, and self sufficient then they won't need me anymore. But change like that… It takes time. So I'm working. I'm going to work every second until I get there, so that someday…" Shion sighed. "Someday I'll have a chance…"

Safu looked into the fire.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I just wish it didn't have to be you."

Shion followed her gaze, the light of the fire sweeping through the blacks of his eyes.

"It's my burden," Shion said. "It's my job to see it through."

Safu suddenly widened her eyes.

"What if you didn't," Safu said suddenly. "If all you need is for the kingdom's peace to become self sufficient, isn't there a way you could get them to do that on their own?"

Shion turned to look her. "What do you mean?"

Safu shrugged, "Well… if you found someone else who believed as you do, couldn't you trust them to take your place?"

Shion narrowed his eyes.

"That might only be a temporary fix," Shion said, "I want do something that is going to help the people permanently. I want them to have a chance to ask for what's best for them. Even I might not know what that is all the time. But at least I'm willing to listen to them. There's no guarantee that if I appointed someone else that they would do the same."

Safu sighed, "I understand. But someday you won't be able to help them either Shion. What are you going to do then?"

Shion let out a breath.

"I don't know," He confessed, shaking his head. "That's what I'm trying to figure out."

Over the next few weeks, Shion thought that Safu's talk hadn't really helped him. If anything… it only brought up the nagging insecurity that it didn't matter what he did. He would never be able to leave this place, and he would never be with Nezumi again.

It wasn't until a council meeting three weeks later that he realized he was wrong.

They were sitting around talking about food distribution, and Shion had asked the council to come to him with their decision, but there was a huge rift between them on what to do, so finally one of them suggested…

"Why don't we just vote on it?"

Shion sighed, "I wanted you guys to do some actual research on the kingdoms regions. Where has the population grown? Where are there shortages? For heaven's sake I'd rather hear the people vote on it than–,"

Shion's eyes widened.

He had read about democracies, letting the people decide for themselves. He had always admired them. He liked the idea of people having a real say in things, of people being ruled by themselves. The best for the greatest number. But he knew why it wasn't feasible.

An entire kingdom can't come together and vote. There are too many people, too much space… but still…

That night Shion talked to Safu again.

"It's a good idea, Shion." Safu sighed, "But I don't see how you're going to make it work."

Shion sighed.

"What if we did it in stages?" Shion murmured. "Villages vote for representatives who represent them in a council for their region. Region Councils vote for representatives to sit on a kingdom wide council… then the councils could rule the country, and the people would have a say."

Safu looked at him.

"That…." She blinked, "could really work."

Shion felt a jump inside his stomach. "You think so?"

Safu nodded. "But Shion….. You realize what you're doing is risky? It's going to change everything."

A slow wild-eyed smile spread over Shion's face.

"I know," He said with a shocked, half-hysterical laugh. "That's the point."

* * *

 

It had been seven months since Nezumi had seen Shion when he heard the news.

He was staying at an inn, in a village near the kingdom's southern border. He had been working at the inn's pub for a couple of weeks, trying to replenish his desperately diminished funds. He was also staying in a free room upstairs, as long as he agreed to sing in the pub on weekends without extra pay. Nezumi didn't really mind. He hadn't sung in a while, and without incentive he worried he never would.

It was while he was cleaning dishes off the tables one evening that the news broke.

The pub's door burst open, slamming into a wall as a boy in a Harold's uniform stumbled breathlessly inside.

Everyone in the pub turned to look at him, and the room fell silent. The boy panted, red faced from running before looking up with brilliant, excited eyes.

"King Shion is abolishing the monarchy!"

Nezumi nearly dropped his plates.

There was a collective gasp, and a moment later a wave of excitement crested the room as murmurs and worry spread.

Nezumi stood still in the center of the room grasping his plates.

Then slowly…. he smiled.

* * *

 

It took another two months to make the necessary changes, but Shion refused to stop working until it was done.

In the end, they made the decision to hold a party at the palace to signify the beginning of elections. They would be sending out officials from the palace to start the election process in all of the villages and keep the voting fair. The party was also to celebrate Shion's last few nights on the throne.

Shion had no way to contact Nezumi, but he insisted that news of the party be spread all around the kingdom for weeks before it was taking place.

When it was finally time, Shion had never felt so nervous in his life.

What if Nezumi didn't come back for him? What if he had left the kingdom? What if he had moved on? What if he never wanted to comeback for Shion in the first place?

All these thoughts had Shion nearly falling apart the evening before the party.

His mother came to his rescue.

"Shion, calm down," she said, sitting him down in a chair and starting to fuss with his hair. Shion made a pouty face and she laughed.

"He'll find you," she promised him, "I know that he will."

Shion let out a breath.

"But what if–,"

Karen put a hand over his mouth.

"Stop it! Just have faith," She smiled, "I believe in Nezumi. Don't you?"

Shion's eyes widened.

Then he smiled.

"Yeah," He smiled wider. "Yeah. I do."

Karen return the smile. "I know you do," She said and she gave Shion a hug.

So Shion went to the party that night.

He still didn't like parties, so he found himself mostly standing on the side of the room and smiling at people when they came up to talk to him-– that or pushing wine into the hands of people who came up to try and argue with him.

About half way through the night, though, Shion's confidence started to waver.

He jumped whenever someone called his name. His eyes shifted constantly around the room. He consistently considered just leaving so that he would calm down and stop getting his hopes up.

In fact, he was just about to try and slide carefully through the crowd and out the door when a voice spoke up from behind him.

"Well, well," the voice said, making Shion's spine instantly stiffen. "You decided to change the kingdom's entire government, just so you can chase some hot piece of ass? You might need to look at your priorities."

Shion swallowed.


	17. The End and The Beginning

_Shion, do you remember the night we met?_

Nezumi didn't arrive at the palace until the ball was already in full swing. Carriages and people were sweeping in and out, bright colors flowing from between the glowing lights and the darkness of the night outside.

Nezumi was standing just outside of the gate, letting the darkness shade him as his fingers gripped the cold metal and he stared at the people on the other side.

_There was_ a _storm, so fierce and wild and dark it seemed to suck the brightness out of the world._

He knew he didn't have to hide. He was welcome here. He'd even bothered to dress-up, and now a stiff blue suit held in his warmth against the cool night breeze, as his cape swirled around his legs.

_I was dying, lost and bleeding out, drowning in the rain and unable to walk anymore. I had given up._

Nezumi longed for the thin french style doors of Shion's balcony, the billowing white drapes blowing outward with the breeze, and Shion standing between them, waiting for him.

Nezumi stepped away from the gate.

_No one would have missed me. I would have been washed away with the rain, and there would have been nothing left to know that I had lived._

It didn't take long to slip around the side of palace and find Shion's bedroom, but when he arrived he found that the doors were shut and the room was dark.

A small amount of sadness rushed through Nezumi. He took a deep breath and gathered his strength. He couldn't give up now. He had to at least try. Shion would do the same for him.

_But you screamed for me._

When Nezumi climbed up onto the balcony– with some difficulty, hindered by his suit– He tried the doors.

They clicked opened easily.

Nezumi's eyes widened and then he smiled. Of course. It was Shion. What had he expected.

_A small boy, cutting through a storm, louder that the wind, louder than the world… I heard your voice._

Nezumi walked in, and when he did he found something that surprised him.

There was a bag sitting on the bed. Already packed and waiting, like Shion had been eager to leave, already prepared to be going all along. An impatient habit.

Nezumi reached out, as if to touch the bag, before quickly retrieving his hand. Now wasn't the time for that. He had to find Shion.

_That day, you were the only thing, the only light that was left for me, and I didn't even know you yet._

It took some time for Nezumi to make his way from Shion's room down to where the party was, and even longer to weave his way through the crowd. He could tell by the looks on the faces of those he passed that they had no idea who he was, that they were curious. Nezumi rolled his eyes and kept walking.

Every moment he spent in the crowd made him more and more edgy. Worried that Shion could be anywhere, he would bump into him at any moment. Or worse, that he wouldn't be able to find him, not in all these people.

_Sometimes I think…. it will always be that way, from now on._

Nezumi was just starting to worry he would have to climb onto the dining table just to see over the crowd, when he finally broke through a throng of people and in to a clearing in the crowd. When he did, his eyes caught on the glint of white hair, standing near the wall a few feet away.

Nezumi's heart beat wildly in his chest, hard and aching with anticipation, as he straightened and looked clearly on the shape of Shion's silhouette, standing with his back to Nezumi, alone at the edge of the party.

Nezumi took a deep breath and began moving towards him.

_The only thing holding me to this world, will always be…._

Nezumi stopped behind Shion, and his breath held in his throat as he felt the presence of him close around him like warm air. Nezumi closed his eyes.

One… two… three…

Nezumi let out a breath, and smiled.

_Your voice._

"Well, well," Nezumi said, keeping his voice light as he opened his eyes to watch Shion's posture freeze and stiffen like someone had just poured cold water down his back. Nezumi smiled wider.

"You decided to change the kingdom's entire government, just so you can chase some hot piece of ass?" Nezumi found himself teasing, his voice wry with humor, and his eyelids lowering as he watched Shion stand still with his back to him, as if he couldn't bring himself to turn around. "You might need to look at your priorities."

It took a few moments after that, a few spaces of frantic heartbeats that broke out between them before Shion's poster started to loosen, and he found the strength to begin turning around.

When he had turned enough, his red eyes landed on Nezumi from over his shoulder, and widened.

Nezumi's expression softened.

"Nice party, little prince," Nezumi said, his lips forming a teasing smile as he placed a hand on his chest and lowered himself into a bow. As he did, his hair, which he had neglected to pull back tonight, fell forward around his face. "I was flattered to be invited."

Nezumi heard Shion suck in a breath.

Nezumi moved to straighten himself out of his bow, but he was instantly arrested by a hand grabbing him at the jaw and holding his face still.

Nezumi's eyes widened.

He found himself staring into Shion's eyes; looking at him with a sense of shock and wonder. Then slowly, his grip loosened.

The hand that Shion was using to hold Nezumi slid from his face and moved into the dark boy's hair, letting the dark silk-like locks slid against his fingers as he drew them through the length of it. Shion's eyes melted and warmed.

He smiled.

"You're real," Shion breathed, and the blatant crushing relief in his voice made Nezumi breath halt in surprise.

Shion's smile widened.

He released Nezumi, letting the boy straighten as Shion looked him over up and down. Suddenly he laughed lightly.

"I'm not royalty anymore, you know." Shion said suddenly, tilting his head like a curious bird. "You don't have to be so formal."

Nezumi blinked, slowly coming back to himself.

"Oh?" He asked, his lips finding a smile as he folded his arms across his chest. "How would you like me to behave then, your highness?"

Shion shot him a wry look at that, and Nezumi chuckled as he leaned back against the near by wall, lounging casually like a cat.

He was just about to say something when suddenly Shion's weight fell against him-- a soft, warm pair of lips pressing insistently, and urgently against his mouth.

Nezumi's eyes flew open in surprise, his arms jumping away from his chest as if to be ready to catch Shion as he fell.

It took him a moment to realize that Shion hadn't fallen. He had thrown himself against him-– one hand braced against Nezumi's shoulder– and he was kissing him.

Nezumi blinked, stunned and uncertain, but as the feel of Shion's lips sunk into him, Nezumi let out his breath and closed his eyes, letting his hands come to rest on Shion's waist.

Twisting his head at an angle, the kiss deepen, the two boys melting into each other against the wall, letting the cool stone hold them up.

There were gasps and murmurs that swept through the crowd as they noticed the two of them. But Nezumi and Shion didn't care.

To them, they were the only two people in the world.

When they finally parted, they were laughing, Shion's hard and giggly, using Nezumi to hold him up as his cheeks turned pink with exertion.

Nezumi watched him; a lazy, warm affection in his gaze as the small boy leaned into him, happiness sparkling in his eyes.

"Come on," Nezumi said, taking Shion by the hand and pulling him toward the dance floor, "Dance with me."

Shion's eyes widened in surprise, but he smiled and let himself be lead into the crowd.

The two of them earned looks of shock and disapproval as Nezumi clasped their hands together and placed his hand on Shion's waist. Shion looked up at him in alarm.

"I'm the girl?" He whined, in the moment looking so much like a child that Nezumi burst out laughing, like water bubbling over in a brook.

"Of course," Nezumi replied, guiding Shion's hand to his shoulder. "I don't know why you look so surprised. I thought you would expect it, considering the other submissive roles you've taken on in our relationship."

Shion flushed so red his scar disappeared against his cheek.

"I don't really know how to do this," Shion complained as Nezumi tried to guide him into the steps of the dance, asking Shion to follow him. Shion stumbled and narrowly avoided stepping on Nezumi's foot.

Nezumi laughed.

"Just watch me," Nezumi said lightly, reaching out to tip Shion's head up by the chin. "Move with me."

Shion's eyes met Nezumi's, wide and gleaming in the light as Nezumi smiled a him, retaking his hand and beginning again to lead him around the room. This time Shion followed, without trying to look down. He felt the shifts of Nezumi's weight and gave into the motion of him, and before long they were dancing.

"Where did you get that suit?" Shion asked at one point, when he found himself admiring the away the dark cape draped over Nezumi's shoulders, but missing the way the loose shirts, that Nezumi usually wore, had always revealed the curve of his collarbone.

"A friend of mine is a clothing maker. They had always wanted to make luxury suits like this, but never had the cliental that asked for it, so I called in a favor." Nezumi raised an eyebrow. "Why? Like what you see?"

Shion flushed, at first, but then he just laughed lightly, "You're beautiful, Nezumi. In anything, in nothing, I always like what I see."

Nezumi flushed, just faintly at the height of his cheekbones. He cleared his throat.

"I think I need a drink," He announced, turning his eyes back to Shion. "What about you?"

Shion pressed his lips together. "I don't know… I don't make a very good drunk."

Nezumi laughed, "On the contrary," He said, curling his fingers underneath Shion's chin and tipping his face up to look at him. "I like you when you're drunk. You're so…. straight forward."

It was Shion's turn to flush now. "Maybe just one drink. But I'm serious this time! If you get me drunk I'm going to smack you."

Nezumi laughed, "What am I, the bad influence?"

Shion raised an incredulous eyebrow at him and Nezumi made a face.

"Fine, I promise."

The two of them grabbed glasses of champagne and found themselves wandering through the crowd out on to the terrace, just above the stairs that lead down into the gardens and out of the light.

They stopped, leaning together on the wide stone railing, Shion leaning on his elbows and Nezumi with his lower back against the marble, sipping at his drink.

"It's a nice night." Shion said, looking out into the shade of the greenery.

Nezumi turned to follow his gaze.

"Smells like rain," Nezumi said, "it will probably storm soon."

Shion nodded. "So what have you been up to the last few months?"

Nezumi shrugged, "Oh a little of everything. I managed to gather a small following while I sang at a tavern in one of the southern towns."

Shion smiled.

"I wish I could have seen it." he said. "I can imagine that they loved you. There's no one else in the world who can sing the way you can. Like a bird or the wind. Like it's just so natural to you."

Nezumi blushed slightly. "You really think that?"

"Of course I do," Shion said, "I've worried-- just occasionally while you were gone-- that if I stayed here, and I ruled for the rest of my life, that I would die without ever hearing you sing again. And it made me…."

Shion didn't finish his sentence. He didn't have to, and if he did they would have had to acknowledge it, and it was just too soon for that.

"That wouldn't have happened." Nezumi promised firmly. "If you had been dying, no matter what else was going on, even if I was already dead, I would have sang for you."

Shion stalled in his breath.

They didn't talk again for a few moments after that. The sounds of the night filled the silence, and the two of them stood in comfortable, uncomplicated quiet as the wind danced through the trees.

Finally Shion raised himself up and smiled, turning to look at Nezumi with a grin.

"Look," He said, and reached out to grab Nezumi's hand and spread it, palm up, next to his own. And just as he did, two gentle drops fell from the sky and landed on Nezumi's skin.

Nezumi smiled. "Ah, it's early."

"Yeah," said Shion warmly, and a roll of thunder rang through the sky. "I think it's going to be a big one, too."

Nezumi looked up at the sky, and the rain started to pick up, splattering against his cheeks and cooling his skin. "Do you want to go inside?"

All round them, crowds of party-goers were running and retreating indoors, holding their hands above their heads as they ran. Shion smiled.

He raise his eyes to Nezumi's, "Actually… I… " His eyes said it all, bright and searching, "You can if you want but I…"

Nezumi grinned.

"Don't worry, you little squaller," Nezumi teased, "I'm with you."

Shion grinned.

They waited until the storm really picked up. Until the wind was swirling, and the rain poured down in sheets, and lighting was flashing in the sky.

The two of them exchanged a look. They tipped their heads back.

They screamed.

It was full of everything. Screams that released emotions they had both bottled up for months of pain and silence, now flooding out of them with the force of their voices.

When they had screamed until they couldn't scream anymore, their cheeks red and their grip on the railing the only thing holding them up, the screams turned in to laughing.

They laughed so hard, their stomachs hurt and they had their arms braced around each other, their throats aching with strain as the rain soaked through their clothes, and their shimmering glasses of champagne were left forgotten on the marble rail.

When it finally occurred to them the force of the thunder and lighting that was crashing over head, and the extent of the water that had soaked through their clothes, they wrapped their arms around each other and ran toward the doors, rain streaming off of them as it continued to fall.

They ran like that all the way inside, and though the halls and up the stairs until the two of them burst, laughing, through Shion's bedroom door and shut it behind them. Effectively closing themselves in, together, in the darkness of room.

Nezumi, who was still standing by the door, turned to look at Shion, his eyes bright in the dark. Shion looked back at him, wet and dripping, water glistening off his skin and glittering in his eyelashes as he blinked.

But it wasn't until Shion reached out and took Nezumi's hand that the mood began to shift.

They didn't waste anytime. Stripping off their wet clothes, and dragging each other toward Shion's bed as they fell together onto the sheets.

Shion pulled Nezumi down onto him, reaching up to weave his hand into the wet ink that was Nezumi's hair. Pulling him down to crash there lips together in a heated fury.

Nezumi groaned, his hand reaching up to slide onto the smooth skin of Shion's neck, his thumb gently grazing the slight ridge of the scar wrapped around Shion's throat, making him shiver.

Their mouths competed, pressing and tugging, tongues slipping in and out between the other's lips, air disappearing and flooding in between heated gasps and pants as they struggled not to have to breath.

Shion's fingers tangled in the dark locks of Nezumi's hair, twisting and pulling it in a way that made the dark boy groan in pleasure, and Shion smiled.

He was instantly repaid, however, as Nezumi leaned in, letting his tongue graze the sensitive scars of Shion's neck. Making the boy jerk and moan. Nezumi chuckled and kissed him, laving his tongue against Shion's heated skin.

This went on for a while, but before too long, Shion's impatience got to him and he reached for Nezumi, his hands desperate and clumsy as he tried to pull him closer, into a more compromising position.

Nezumi's movements froze.

"Wait, Shion." Nezumi said, panting as he slowly pulled back, raising himself up on his hands to look at the boy beneath him. Shion blinked up through the dark, his face flushed and hazy. He let out a breath.

"What's wrong?" Shion asked, still breathless.

Nezumi sighed.

"This isn't…" Nezumi struggled, "I mean, isn't this a little fast? We've barely talked and I, I'm still not sure I even understand what's happened. I came here… because now you no longer have to be the king. But you haven't explained why… I mean… did you give up the throne for me?"

Shion stared. Nezumi's face was troubled, his eyes dark and searching as he looked down at Shion, his breathing still coming unsteady.

"No." Shion breathed, resting his head back against the bed with a sigh, "I didn't give up the throne for you. I did it for the kingdom, because I thought that they could rule themselves better than I could. And I did it for me. Because…"

Shion raised his eyes to look at Nezumi's, the red of them darkening.

"Because I was never meant to be a king."

"How can you say that?" Nezumi asked, moving back so he was sitting up at Shion's side. "You helped people."

Shion sat up too, running a hand through his wet hair, making it drip down his neck.

"I helped some people. But the truth is, I won't always know how. There will be a time when I won't know what to do, and there will also be a time when it's not my responsibility. If I can't help these people then… I'm not sure anything I do now would be any good. This way… They can ask for the things they need on their own. And as a people, they can learn that they deserve to be respected. If I can teach them that… it will be a permanent lesson. And that, truly, is the best thing that I can do for them."

Shion turned to look at Nezumi, who was looking at him with a steady expression, something that spoke of a deep approval.

Shion smiled, and reached up to place a hand on Nezumi's cheek.

"Besides," He continued, tilting his head. "I was never going to be my best self as king. I've never been my best anything, without you."

Nezumi's eyes widened a fraction, and then he smiled, looking down at the bed but reaching up to cover Shion's hand with his own. He laughed lightly.

"I think maybe you have that backwards," he said, rubbing a smooth circle with his thumb into Shion's skin. "I think… it's me that's always needed you."

Shion smiled.

"Isn't that what it means?" Shion asked, "To have found that special, irreplaceable person? That you will never be complete without the other?"

"Hmmm," Nezumi smiled. "Yeah. I guess you're right." He raised his eyes.

"You are that person to me, Shion. You are the only thing… that has ever held me in place."

Shion expression melted.

"That's funny," He said, "Because Nezumi… you have always set me free."

Nezumi reached up and slid his hand over Shion's cheek, leaning in and pulling Shion's lips back to his own.

A deep slow kiss.

_It is funny Shion… That one of us could be the earth, loosened by the rain, and one of us the storm, trying to find it's home in the earth._

Their lips moved together, until they were leaning into each other, and falling together onto the bed. Lighting flashing outside the window.

_Together… would could destroy each other… but instead, we seem to shape each other… Into something better than either of us could ever be alone._

Hands started moving, bare skin against skin. Two bodies sliding together, trying to become one.

_Is that what love is…Shion? Or is this something even greater?_

Soft sounds came from their mouths, but they didn't move too quickly. This moment… it was just for them, and they would take their time. Because, for once, they had all the time in the world.

_This… is a force of nature._

* * *

 

The next morning, Shion and Nezumi woke up wrapped in each other's arms.

It was still dark outside, but there was a smell in the air, like dew and blooming flowers.

Dawn was on it's way.

Shion turned his head, raising his eyes to look up at Nezumi. His eyes searching the dark haired boy's face.

"Is it time?" He asked, his voice light and husky with the first words of morning. Nezumi lowered his gaze to look at him.

"Yeah. Are you sure about this?"

Shion smiled.

"I'm sure," He said, and smiled. "My mom and Safu already know. They won't expect to find me in morning. But I left them a letter anyway… for them to hold on to after I'm gone."

"I see," Nezumi let out a breath. "Then we should get ready to go."

The boys dressed in the quiet peace of early morning. Gathering their things. Once they had, Shion shrugged his bag onto his shoulder and looked around his bedroom one last time.

So many things had happened here. Things that had changed his life.

He would always remember…

Shion placed his letters to his mother and Safu on the night stand, brushing his fingers over the sturdy paper before turning around to find Nezumi standing behind him, his watching eyes bright in the light falling through the window.

"Ready to go?" He asked.

Shion smiled.

"So this is it?" Shion wondered, his lips melting warmly into a grin. "I finally get to see how it is you always disappear?"

Nezumi smiled back.

He held out his hand. "Come on. I'll show you."

That morning… light had just begun to break as two boys landed among the trees, and the soft dewy grass. White mist swirling around them and swallowing them up like ghosts.

It still smelled like rain.

Shion looked back, just once. Staring up at his childhood home in a way he had never seen it before, from the grass below his balcony. For a moment he had a wave emotion wash over him, as he realized the significance of the spot he stood on.

"I nearly died here, you know." Nezumi said, looking up through the morning mist at the slowly lightening sky. "If it hadn't been for you, opening those doors that night, I would have been nothing but an anonymous body found by the guards and tossed away. I never would have mattered."

Shion shook his head. "That isn't true. Somehow… I think I always would have found you. Some things… some things are just fated to happened. And you and me… I don't think there could ever be a world where my heart wouldn't be looking for yours. Always."

The dark haired boy smiled, laughing lightly under his breath. "Maybe… all I know is, I'm glad you found me in this world."

Shion turned his head, smiling brightly.

He held out his hand.

"Let's go." He said. "Before somebody wakes up."

Nezumi smiled, and took his hand.

This was the last time that either Shion or Nezumi would see that balcony.

The last time Nezumi would ever have to sneak out a window before dawn.

The last time time the bright eyes of the castle's torches would watch his retreating figure disappearing into the forest.

Twice before Nezumi had left Shion's bedroom behind him, walking away into the early dawn. But this time…

This was the first time that he didn't look back.


	18. Epilogue: After the Show

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~ Six Months Later ~
> 
> The Amaryllis Theatre- In a Town East of the Border ~

The applause was loud, even as Nezumi left the stage and headed towards his dressing room he could still hear the cheers swell behind him.

He knew that he was supposed to go out and visit with the crowd, especially on closing night– of all nights– but he had no interest. He was just interested in getting out of this make up and these heels.

Nezumi stumbled quickly into his dressing room, raising waves and nods to the crew who congratulated him as he passed by. He had just shut the door behind him and sat down at his dressing table when there was a light knock at the door.

"I'm not going out there, Hiro, you can forget it." Nezumi said firmly as he reached for the washbasin so he could scrub the make-up off his face. "I'm exhausted and I'm sick of getting groped."

The door clicked open.

"No groping? Awe man, there goes my plans for the evening."

Nezumi raised his head.

He could see him in the mirror, the white haired boy smiling at him with his hands behind his back. That charming red scar bright on his cheek as he blushed.

"Shion?" Nezumi smiled, turning around to look at him. "What are you doing here? I thought you were packing. Haven't you seen the show four times this week alone?"

Shion shrugged, "It's closing night. I'm not going to miss your final show." he smiled back. "I have a surprise for you."

"Oh?" Nezumi raised his eyebrows and stood up moving toward Shion. "Is this the kind of surprise that I should lock the door for?"

Shion flushed down his neck, "I– well… no.. I mean.. If after, you want to–,"

Nezumi laughed, leaning in to kiss Shion lightly on the cheek, leaving a smear of lip coloring. "I'm teasing. I just like watching you squirm."

Shion ducked his head in embarrassment and Nezumi mussed his hair.

"So what's your surprise then?"

Shion's face lit up and he pulled a package from behind his back, wrapped in brown paper and tied with yarn. Nezumi took it, eyeing it curiously. It yielded softly under his fingers.

"Hmm…" Nezumi raised his eyebrows. "A present, huh? You know… I prefer flowers."

Shion's face paled, with real, innocent horror, "I–,"

Nezumi grinned and pecked him on the lips. "Oh don't worry, my favorite flowers are Shion." he winked.

Shion's eyes widened in surprise, and he blushed again.

Nezumi chuckled. He took the package and began tearing at the paper. When he had pulled it open he found inside a dark gray wool. And when he pulled it out it unfurled, thick, wide, and soft.

"It's a scarf," Shion explained, "I know you were sad about the last one falling apart. So, I thought…"

"I love it," Nezumi smiled, "It's perfect."

Nezumi folded it thiner and smoothly looped it around the back of Shion's neck, using it to pull Shion closer and plant a firm kiss against his cheek. He wrapped the scarf around himself as well so the two of them were twined together.

Shion flushed but he was smiling, so bright he was practically glowing."I'm glad you like it,"

"Are you kidding?" Nezumi leaned his forehead against Shion's, "I love it. It's perfect for me. But you didn't have to–,"

"I wanted to," Shion interrupted, "It's closing night, and you've been working so hard for months, you deserve a reward."

"Really?" Nezumi grinned, "Then with that in mind…"

Nezumi dragged Shion onto the sofa that was shoved into the corner of the room. Pushing him down, Nezumi climbed on top of him until they were folded together and he had his hands on Shion's waist.

Shion's hands started massaging gentle circles into Nezumi's shoulders and neck as they kissed. "You're shoulders are stiff," he murmured, "Are do you want me to give you a massage? You're neck must be killing you."

"I definitely want you rubbing me, Shion," Nezumi murmured between kisses. "In more ways than one."

Shion flushed, but his fingers slid along the low drape of Nezumi's costume dress. It was low enough that he could trace the sharp curve of Nezumi's collarbone, and feel the smooth, pale skin there. Nezumi shivered.

"Are you sure we should be doing this with you in costume?" Shion panted, "Don't you have to give it back tonight?"

"You're right," Nezumi pulled back, grinning. "I should take it off." and with that Nezumi fingers moved to immediately lift it over his head.

Shion turned red again.

"You're impossible," he chuckled, as Nezumi settled back on to him in nothing but his underclothes. He was still wearing the makeup and the wing. "You realize we have all night to do this?"

"Who says this is the only time we'll be doing this tonight?" Nezumi teased, and began slowly kissing down Shion's neck.

Shion let out a needy breath.

Then there was a knock at the door.

Nezumi tensed like he was going to punch something.

Shion tried to smother his laughing. "Hey, at least we don't have to put up with the castle maids anymore." Shion teased, raising his eyebrow. Nezumi looked down at him with a rueful smirk.

"Eve? Are you in there? Hey, I told you, you have a commitment to–,"

Nezumi sighed and stood up, starting to gather his costume and hang it back on it's hanger. He carefully removed the long dark wig and placed it on the wiry wig stand, smoothing it out before pulling the cap off his head and letting his own dark hair fall around his shoulders.

He quickly changed into his own dark clothes while his director yelled and pounded outside the door.

When he was completely dressed, He yanked open the door and threw the garment bag at the director before turning back towards the mirror and grabbing a wet rag to start scrubbing off the make up.

"Sorry, Hiro. I'm done for the night." Nezumi said, "But thanks for everything."

Hiro frowned, "You're already changed?" He complained, walking into the room. Then his eyes fell on Shion.

"Shion!" Hiro said with enthusiasm, "Can't you reason with him? I thought he only tried to duck out early so he could get home to you!"

Shion laughed, "Sorry, Hiro, we have plans tonight. I don't think anyone could reason with him."

"Always the diplomat," Hiro complained. "You're too nice Shion. You know you're the only person who can get through to him! Why do you always refuse to help me?"

"Stop trying to use my weaknesses against me Hiro. Fight your own battles." Nezumi teased, his face finally washed as he turned around. He was now in the process of gathering up his hair so he could pull it back.

"Yeah, like that will work." Hiro rolled his eyes. "Well fine. Will you at least try out for our next show? Auditions are next week."

"Didn't you know?" Nezumi asked, "Shion and I are leaving town."

"What?" Hiro asked in surprise, "But you just moved here four months ago."

"Then you should count yourself lucky we stayed this long." Nezumi grinned. "See you later, Hiro. Take care of yourself."

Hiro looked red faced and furious as he stormed off into the hall.

Nezumi chuckled.

"Are you sure you're okay with leaving?" Shion asked. "You like this town."

"I'm sure." Said Nezumi. "The only home I need is you."

Shion smiled.

"All right," said Shion, standing up and straightening his clothes. "Then lets get going."

Shion unwrapped Nezumi's new scarf from around his own neck and offered it to the dark haired boy. Nezumi took it and coiled it around his throat, flipping the ends of it back over his shoulders. Shion watched him with affection.

Nezumi grabbed his hand and started tugging him.

"Come on," he said, "I have some ideas for a good way to say goodbye to our room at the inn."

Shion rolled his eyes, "That's not a new idea. We always do that before we leave."

"Then I'm keeping up tradition." Nezumi lowered his eyes. "Unless you want to start here."

Shion laughed, shaking his head. "Let's go, before Hiro really wants to kill you." he said tugging Nezumi's hand, and they ran laughing into the streets.

* * *

 

"AH! Nezumi!" Shion panted as Nezumi sunk his teeth into Shion's throat. "Faster! Please!"

"You know, I love that you've learned how to talk dirty to me." Nezumi breathed against Shion's skin, and Shion let out a shaky breath as his cheeks turned abruptly red. Nezumi chuckled, "but I love even more that it's still that easy to make you blush."

Shion tried to duck his head but was stopped by Nezumi who dove back in to start sucking on his neck over his scar, making Shion shout.

Nezumi's hips started moving faster and Shion moaned, long and loud as he started coming undone beneath the Nezumi's movements, screaming his name as the two of them came together and fell against each other on the bed.

"That was…" Shion panted, trailing off with exhaustion. Nezumi chuckled,

"You weren't half bad yourself." he replied, kissing rather passionately against the edge of Shion's jaw. "God I've missed you the past few weeks. Rehearsals were torture without you there."

Shion giggled shyly, "I missed you too. Next time I'll see if I can take a job on the crew."

"Only if you're my costume fitter," Nezumi replied, tugging on Shion's earlobe with his teeth. "I want you all to myself behind closed doors."

Shion rolled his eyes. "All right, needy. I forget how one-track minded you are when you get pent up."

Nezumi pulled back, raising a suggestive eyebrow. "Oh, yeah? And you clearly don't care at all." Nezumi said palming Shion under the sheets. Shion's eyes rolled back in his head and Nezumi laughed.

"Come on," Nezumi said, pulling back and holding out a hand. "We still have a tub for a few more hours. Take a bath with me?"

Shion smiled and let himself get dragged eagerly into the bath.

* * *

 

The following morning, after Shion and Nezumi had packed their things and strapped them to their back, the two boys were walking down the road in muted violet light.

Nezumi was being dramatic, reciting poetry while striking ridiculous poses to make Shion laugh, their breaths puffing out white around them like clouds.

When Nezumi had finished his forth poem, and Shion had finally stopped laughing he bumped his shoulder against Nezumi's. "Hey, will you sing for me? It's gonna be a long walk."

Nezumi smiled, "I suppose I could…" he trailed off with mock hesitance.

Shion grinned, and leaned into him, "Please,"

Nezumi looked sideways and him and pressed his lips together. "I don't know… I might need some convincing."

Shion chuckled and leaned in to place warm, soft kisses to the side of Nezumi's throat, moving upward to brush his lips against Nezumi's ear.

"Pleeeeease?" He breathed. Nezumi chuckled,

"All right," he agreed, grinning at Shion as the light-haired boy pulled back. They twined their hands together as they walked.

Nezumi started singing, and Shion smiled warmly as he listened and they continued to walk, hand in hand, down the road.

It was only about a minute later that a cart came rattling down the road.

"Was that you singing, boy?" the cart driver asked as he pulled up beside them. Nezumi raised his eyes.

"It was."

"Where are you two headed?" The man asked, "Cause I got a long ride ahead of me, and I could use some music like that."

Nezumi looked at Shion.

"We'll go where ever you're headed." Nezumi agreed, and the man nodded for them to jump up on the back of the cart.

Nezumi threw his bag on first, before jumping up and reaching back to help Shion. Shion let Nezumi lift him and the two of them settled next to each other among the hey, their legs dangling off the back.

Nezumi reached out and wrapped an arm around Shion, pulling him against his side and warming him. Shion smiled and wrapped his arm around Nezumi in return.

"You can sleep," Nezumi offered, "I know you're tired, and I'll wake you when we get there."

Shion smiled, "I'll listen to you sing for awhile." He said.

Nezumi smiled back, "Don't you ever get sick of it? I sing for you all the time."

"I'll never get sick of it," Shion replied. "It's a reminder that you're really here. Because even in my dreams I your voice is never as beautiful as it is in real life."

Nezumi's expression soften. "I'm always going to be here, Shion. You don't have to worry. We'll always be together."

Shion squeezed him. "I'll hold you to that."

Nezumi chuckled. "So will I."

Shion fell asleep to the sound of Nezumi's voice.


End file.
